Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Motherhood...In the Meantime

Our lives take so many twists and turns it is a wonder we can ever be fully aware of where it is we are headed. Life has been full of curve balls for us lately. I have been feeling like one of those wind up toys that moves in one direction until it runs into something, then it turns in another direction until it runs into something, and so on. Raising children is certainly challenging and perplexing at times.

I was really enjoying life with the three youngest at home. We were having a lot of fun together. Then our boat was rocked...again. Somehow Pat and I need to draw some very obvious lines in our lives with our older children and reclaim our lives. We need to stop allowing their decisions to have an impact on the lives of ourselves and our younger children. Enough is enough.

We have sought the direction of those older and wiser than ourselves. It has helped us tremendously on an emotional and intellectual level. Unfortunately, our beloved counselor is moving to Tennessee next month. We had our last session last night. He has been such a God send for us. His instruction has had a wonderfully positive effect on our lives. God truly blessed us with him in such perfect timing.

Three months have passed since I originally wrote the above paragraphs. There have been many sleepless nights and shed tears. We are learning some valuable life lessons through the conduit of our four eldest children. The troubling aspect is that my life lessons always seem to come later rather than sooner. Will I ever catch on to what God is trying so desperately to teach me at a quicker pace? Will my learning curve ever tighten? I most certainly hope so!

Pat and I have been desperatly trying to be mindful. We have set boundaries...much to the dismay of a few children. Our delay in action has cost us both financially and emotionally as well as taxed our relationship with our older children. I've come to terms with the fact that it's just the way things need to be for now. Time will pass, and the dust will settle. We may or may not find our children and grandchildren in the debris. I have to be prepared for either outcome.

Yes, it sucks...but, any other mindset would be unhealthy at this present time. It is my prayer that we all grow through this turmoil and that our relationships will heal over time. In the meantime I will keep my family in prayer and continue to work on myself while I wait.


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