It seems there comes a time in every one's life where the past catches up with the present. I have been exploring my relationship with God through weight loss. It has been an interesting experience, and I have grown tremendously. I have been experiencing what I now call, "Adult Growing Pains." They are equally unpleasant, the pain is just in a different location. Pain is felt in the heart and the spirit, not the muscles. Although, left unattended the pain could spread to the physical body. I know. I have been so exhausted.
I have learned that it really does pay to explore your past, face your demons, kick them out, and instigate healing. Don't get me wrong. This is no simple process. You must be prepared as well as determined. Dealing with emotion is painful and frightening. A good support team, at least one good friend, is essential. They must be trustworthy and a true, caring friend. It is not recommended to try this on your own with no outside support. If you truly have no one that you can trust it would be advisable to seek assistance from your pastor or a good Christian counselor.
With a small group study through our church my husband and I have been going through Healing is a Choice by Stephen Arterburn. It has been quite a process. I had already been facing my demons in preparation for my baptism this past March. Without knowing it, I had gone through the steps Stephen illustrates in his book. In order to truly grow we must face our past, reconcile our pain, and grieve our losses before we can move toward being a healthy, grounded, and focused individual.
I am so happy to finally be learning how to tear down the walls of protection that I have spent my entire life constructing. This is a tremendous breakthrough for me. I am finally learning how to trust others and allow myself to be vulnerable in the interest of meaningful and healthy relationships on all levels of my life. My personal life with my husband and children, my relationships with extended family members, and my ability to connect with new people; all of these facets of my life have grown brighter.
Keeping God first, and living consciously, has greatly changed my self-confidence and increased my ability to connect. I highly recommend investing in yourself the time and resources required to face your demons. What do you have to loose except a lot of baggage? Just imagine the resulting freedom!
