I am nearing my 200th post and thought it might be fun to revisit some of my earlier writings before there were so many visitors to my blog. I found this one from July 9, 2006, and it is still pertinent today. I know there are many of you out there that can relate. Walk with me as I travel down memory lane...
Amongst diaper changings, spit-ups, over-tired crying, burping and swaddling I am still attempting to find the blessings. The kids have been great and very helpful. I have also been spending a little time reading at Young Grandparents. It does make a difference having the support of others.
When our limits are reached, and tested even further, it can be difficult to maintain. I am finding it essential to quickly figure out where my boundaries are and mark them clearly for others to see. Don't get me wrong. This is by no means easy for someone like myself. My personality wants to keep control in all situations. By control I mean mental control. I need to be with it. I need to do it all and not be weak. Don't ask me why I tend to view limits as weakness, but I am fervently working toward changing that way of thinking in myself.
Sure, I may be able to do it all, but do I want to? Does anyone in their right mind want to juggle 40 things at once spreading themselves so thin that there is nothing left for them to give? Besides how do we effectively give to those that we need to give to? How do we effectively give to ourselves? It is my experience that over extending one's self is toxic. Setting boundaries nurtures our soul.
After a near nervous breakdown I have set boundaries for myself. Being a young grandparent does not mean that I need to feel like a new mom. In order to make myself available to the children I am still actively raising I need to limit my commitment to my young-adult children with babies reminding myself that they are new moms, not me. Boundaries are healthy, and in the interest of the health of myself, and those that I love, I have set mine.
During this transitional time it has been essential for me to thank God for my blessings. Focusing on what we are thankful for in the center of stress is therapeutic. No matter our reality there is always some way that we are blessed. We may have to look a little deeper into our soul, but there is always something to be thankful for. No matter the stress, we are always blessed.
2 comments:
I agree with you. It's hard to set boundaries. You want to be there for the people you care about. But spreading yourself thin and burning yourself out, doesn't help anyone.
Great trip down memory lane.
Thanks, Maria! Inspired by your comment I read my post yet once again. It really is relevant. I can see where I have made progress and also where I have not moved forward at all. There is always room for improvement. Is there not?
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