Follow the Leader

Robin Nest Discovered 2013

There is one thing I've learned over the years, and it is to let your kids lead.  They are expert at this game if we just give them the chance.  Kids are natural game players, and have you ever met a more formidable force than a determined toddler?  I find myself asking myself, "WHY NOT?", quite a lot.  The key is to not only ask yourself the question, but to evaluate your reasons for 'not'.  Are they valid?

For instance, I was doing dishes this evening, and Annabella wanted to help.  Well, any experienced mom knows just how helpful a just turned three year old is with the task of washing dishes.  She also knows the value in facilitating the experience for the child.  So, instead of rejecting her completely, I asked her to move her stool over so I could stand at the sink without acquiring a crazy backache.  Then, I let her watch for a while.  Of course, that didn't last long.  She repeatedly asked to help.  So, I had her go get some of her play dishes that she wanted to wash and set them on the counter.  When I finished my dishes I refilled the sink with warm water, not the scalding stuff I was using, and some bubbles.  I gave her a sponge, and she had fun for a good hour or so.  Then, the resident four year old joined in the fun.  Once the eight year old got involved it started to fall apart a little, but it ended well.  Does it really matter that my floor got wet?  Of course not.  It's one step closer to clean than it was this morning!

Making a train in
the dining room.

There are so many things our kids love to do, and their timing isn't always perfect, but I have been making a concerted effort to really be aware if their request can be honored as opposed to just dismissing it immediately as not doable.  Is there really a good reason, I mean a really good reason, the kids cannot build a fort in the family room?  What about that sleepover they want to do with each other tonight?  Why not?  They want to paint.  Why isn't it a good time for that?  Is there someway their spontaneity can be honored?  If not completely, can there be a compromise made?

When children have the freedom to explore in a way that comes natural to them they are more likely to be happy, independent, and creative problem solvers.  They learn tenacity and gain confidence in themselves.  Teamwork is involved as well as compassion and empathy.

In our home we have taken a slight bend in the road and shifted our focus, for the time being, from primarily academics to a greater concentration on emotions and feelings.  We made (not so for me) calming bottles the other day and learned about anger.  The kids love the bottles and have developed a number of creative uses for them aside from their intended purpose.  If I had to do it over again there are a few things we would do differently, so it was a learning experience for me as well.

All this freedom to explore is preparing the young ones in my home for a summer of exploration.  This will be the girls' second summer here, and there is so much right in our own yard to discover.  I cannot wait to create special areas with them on our property for different activities.  The possibilities are limited only by our creativity.  There is so much that can be done.

Some ideas that intrigue me are:

• Plant a sunflower house.
• Blaze a trail.
• Create an outdoor reading area.
• Build a performance stage.
• Create an outdoor music area.
• Establish a water and sand play area.
• Build a fort.
• Build a tree house.
• Plant a garden
• Establish a natural water exploration area.
• Create bird feeding areas.
• Make a digging area.

Who knows which ones of these will happen this summer, but dreaming and planning is fun.  Without first exploring the ideas, how could they come to fruition.  The kids and I are in the beginning stages of planning and preparing for our garden.  The next step will be to explore the above ideas together, and determine which ones are most appealing to us and make a plan to make them happen.  It will be a little easier to plan and explore these ideas once the snow melts.  (It's so deep right now that I can't even walk through it.) Then we can get outside and survey our property to determine the best locations and maybe even come up with more ideas.

Homespun Christmas

Since the holidays are upon us, I decided to republish this post. I hope you benefit from the ideas here and reconsider what Christmas is really about.

Yes, I do know that it is merely June! Although, for those of us that would like to have a more simple Christmas including handmade gifts for all June is a late start. Planning Christmas had already been on my mind, but I kept knocking it down the priority list thinking it can wait. Well, in light of my previous post I've decided to give planning Christmas a higher priority.

With all the details involved in Christmas, decorating, cooking, shopping, gift giving, preparing can become rather expensive. Maybe now would be a good time to evaluate our current perception of how we celebrate Christmas. Is it possible that we have become just a little too commercially influenced? Do we celebrate in a manner that honors the true meaning of the holiday? According to Parent's Link, Volume 2, Issue 6, "The average American family will charge $1000 to the handy credit card for their Christmas shopping. If minimum payments are made toward that debt at 12% interest (this is low), it will take over 8 years to repay it with an additional $545 interest charge. Your fourth graders best Christmas ever won’t be paid off until they are graduating from high school."

The amount of debt that we can be willing to incur in the name of a good Christmas is rather disturbing. Would it be possible to have a good Christmas without all of the debt? With a little effort on our part I do believe that we can become memory makers instead of robbing ourselves of retirement or our children of college funds. I believe it is much more fun to create personal gifts to remind those we care about of our love for them than it is to spend hours at the mall looking for that ever so perfect, and co$tly, gift that will likely soon be forgotten.

When I think of Christmas, I think of Little House on the Prairie. Remember how much fun they had cooking, singing, playing music, dancing, and giving thoughtful, handmade gifts? I have slowly been progressing toward this idea of family and fun for our Christmas celebrations. With seven children, four grandchildren, and extended family members that we celebrate with every year things had gotten a little out of control. I was spending WAY too much money. See, my perspective was a little off, shall we say. I grew up poor. The only time we received ANYTHING was at Christmas, so we got a lot. My mom saved her change all year long to provide us with all the clothing and toys we would get for the year. It was the mother load of Christmas hauls! The problem became that I am no longer poor, but I was still living Christmas like I was. My children get what they need, when they need it. They don't have to wait until Christmas. Not keeping that in mind I was spending a ton of money on each child so that they would have A LOT of things to open on Christmas. I had a lot growing up, so my children should as well, right? WRONG! They already had a lot. What more did they need?

Now, our thinking has changed as a family. The Michigan economy further assists my efforts to tighten the belt on Christmas spending. Things are tough for everyone here. It's impossible to not be effected by rising gas prices. It seems that every visit to the grocery store delivers higher food prices. Times are tough, period. There is no reason to believe that everything will be miraculously better by Christmas, so here are some ideas to get you thinking:

• Create a recipe box or cookbook with hand written recipes for a newlywed, college student, or someone just out on their own.


• Cook a homemade meal for someone with a new baby, an illness, a single parent, or someone putting extra hours at work.


• Offer to clean an elderly person's house once a month for a time, or even someone from the list above.


• Give a themed gift basket that you put together yourself using items gathered from discount stores, flea markets, thrift stores, and even yard sales.


• Host a cookie exchange to gain a variety of cookies. You can freeze them, give them as gifts, or serve them at gatherings.


• Create a customized coupon book for a loved one offering to do things that they would appreciate upon the redemption of the coupon.


• Offer to babysit for a few hours, a day, or a weekend so that a busy mom or a couple can get some alone time.


• Start a simple tradition for grand kids by making a special ornament and pairing it with a quality book, or not. Then they will know what to look forward to each year, and you keep your expenses down as your family grows. (Think like this: $50/ea. x 10 grand kids = WAY TOO MUCH $$)


• If you enjoy photography, frame a beautiful picture you have taken, and give as a gift.


• What about canning? Did your tomato plants yield a bumper crop? Can you get a good deal on a bushel of anything? Get canning! Home canned foods are the greatest, and your benefactor will think of you every time they use your gift.


• Make chocolate spoons for the coffee lover in your life.


• Chocolate covered pretzel sticks are easy and can be embellished with any candy treat you can imagine.


• Do you bead? Hand beaded jewelry and Christmas decorations are fun to make. I really enjoy making beaded snowflakes.


• Make homemade bath salt or bath milk and pair with an homemade candle.


• Make mixes for cocoa, cookies and dips. Include a recipe card.


• For grand kids that live far away, you could record yourself reading them a story, and include the book for them to read "with" you.


• If you have a canine friend homemade dog biscuits would be a great treat to share.

Another expense at Christmas time can be decorating. Here are some frugal solutions to beautify your home in the name of Christmas and create lasting family memories:

• Cut old Christmas cards into strips and make an advent chain with your children or grandchildren to count down the days to Christmas.


• String popcorn, cranberries, and/or beads to hang on the tree.


• Gather nature's discards like pinecones, sticks, pine boughs, and use them to create decorations for the tree and house.


• Gather the children in your family to create cookie cutter dough decorations.


• Play Christmas music every time you are baking, creating, or decorating. Make it a family affair involving everyone in the planning and preparation.


• Save dried baby's breath from flower arrangements to add to your Christmas tree as snow.


• Put old bulbs in a bowl and display on table, piano, shelf, or mantel.


• Make a rag wreath for the front door, or hang on interior door.

The possibilities are endless, so I plan to do a follow up post. I would also love it if you would post your ideas for a frugal Christmas. What have you done to trim back? Do you have a special tradition you would like to share? What about those creative gift giving ideas? Please, do tell!

Here are some added resources:

Get Rich Slowly

No Christmas Gift this Year

Buy Nothing Day

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