Freedom in Definition

Recently I learned that I fit into a category.  Typically I am not one for labels, but I did find this a bit interesting; even a little freeing to a certain extent.  Never in a million years could I have ever imagined all the drastic twists and turns I would travel through traversing the road of my life.  I especially could have never begun to guess that there would even be a few corkscrews along the way.  Who knew, right?

Years ago I looked forward to this stage of my life with great anticipation.  It was going to be a time to reclaim my childhood.  I would explore what it truly meant to be me.  Maybe I would volunteer full-time for a local organization I wholeheartedly believed in.  Maybe I would continue my education.  I've always wanted to learn photography "for real".  Surely I would have plenty of time to really invest in my relationship with each of my grandchildren.

The first hairpin turn was our decision to adopt.  Okay. So we're raising one kid all on his own.  So what?   We raised seven already.  What's one?  It was like a vacation those first couple years; a breath of fresh air.  Then, the best fur buddy I ever had died, we moved, and we started becoming aware that things were going to dramatically change again.

Suddenly the track shot up, the cars turned upside down, and we pulled out the other side with two more children in our car.  This meant lots of changes, big emotions, and slow adjustments for everyone.  Our slow acclimation to becoming a homeschooling family again quickly turned into a quick dive into the deep waters head first.  The water was cold and shocking, but you know the story.  We adjusted.

I have never been a traditional homeschooler.  For a while I considered myself very much an unschooler.  This time around it seemed smartest to implement a full curriculum.  We started our fully anticipating using this curriculum through graduation.  It's perfect, covers everything important to us, and takes a huge load off of my shoulders in the planning department.  As the completion of this first year started to come into view on the horizon I prepared to purchase the next level.  Well, I hesitated.  I read what was next, and I just wasn't so sure we really needed to do it that way anymore.  You see, my favorite aspect of homeschooling is FREEDOM.  I LOVE IT!!!

Spring is coming.  There is so much for us to learn together.  We will be starting seeds, planning a garden, preparing to raise animals, building structures, manicuring our woods more, landscaping, camping, and I have a TON of educational supplies already (like any good homeschooling veteran would).  So, why not use what I have?

Enter me learning exactly who I am educationally speaking.  I had to take a brief demographic survey that required me to choose specifically what type of homeschooling family we are.  I had no clue.  Like I said, I don't concern myself with labels and categories when it comes to this type of thing.  Because, in all honesty, does it really matter?  I don't think so.  However, as soon as I looked up "eclectic" and read this:

"An Eclectic Homeschooler is one who looks at the different approaches and methods of homeschooling and takes from each forming his own unique philosophy."

...I knew it defined my style exactly.  Slowly, I have determined that it is now okay to ease back into our more relaxed approach to education.  Our resident elementary student is still warming to the idea that grade level is irrelevant, and grades are arbitrary, but she's getting there.  Taking what I consider a more "whole-life" approach to education will help her to lose some more of her guard and open up to becoming a more relaxed learner.  It is exciting to me!

Yes, being eclectic means a little more work on my part, but I really think I'm ready for it now.  I have the materials at my fingertips.  I need to purchase nothing.  So, why not?  This next year is looking much more inviting to me and even a little more easy.  I have been lamenting the fact that I have two preschoolers and an elementary student; not an easy mix.  With my new found freedom it will be much easier to cater to the individual needs and interests of each child.  I like preschool.  Now, I will be able to enjoy it more.  Therefor the kids will certainly have much more fun.

Does this mean we will never use curriculum again?  I certainly have my doubts.  However, it does mean we have found our niche.  We are grabbing life by the reigns and fully embracing the family we have become.  We know who we are, and we are running with it.

A New Trail to Blaze

For those of you that have spent any time here over the past year my health struggles are no news flash. You know that I have had endometriosis that has been suppressed via chiropractic care. You know that I have a bum shoulder, an ongoing battle with my weight, struggles with fatigue and depression, a cancer scare, and a new confrontation with perimenopause. Any time spent here would have told you that I do not fancy traditional Western Medicine, rather I opt for the alternatives like chiropractic, massaget therapy, prayer, and homeopothy.

The current challenges being fatigue and perimenopause sent me on a journey of discovery that is slowly unfolding at my feet. With my husband's encouragement, silly guy doesn't like a tired and whacky wife everyday, I have sought out a remedy to my most demanding ailments. Thanks to a friend I was referred to a homeopath in my homestate, not my hometown...unfortunately. However, fortunately, she does phone consultations. A little over a week ago I spent two hours on the phone divulging my entire health history to the best of my ability along with my entire immediate family history. She got the full scoop and then some. We hung up, and I awaited her call to learn the recommended remedy.

The call came quicker than anticipated, and I had the recommendation. Sepia 1lm in alcohol suspension once per day until I either start feeling better or agitated. Of course, for me, it was agitation. Aren't I lucky? I really do dislike that feeling, and it was an immediate reminder of struggles past. Unfortunately, part of the curative process involves old issues resurfacing just to remind you of your struggles. Doesn't that sound fun? Don't fret. I was encouraged by her reassurance that any old issues that I may have to face will not be so intense that I will not be able to handle the.

Well, since I began experiencing agitation Friday into Saturday, I did not take the remedy on Sunday, Monday or Tuesday. The new project is to determine when I need the remedy and administer it on an as needed basis. My relationship with this remedy will more than likely be a long one. Since it is a curitive process, it is not something that will remedy itself overnight. Why is it that we spend a lifetime destroying ourselves, and we expect to be rebalanced and cured to a like new state overnight? It really is silly when you think about it. Don't you think?

The process of chiropractic is the same concept. I find it entertaining when people say to me, "I don't want to go to the chiropractor, because you always have to keep going back." Well, duh! How on earth can you spend 30 or more years disrupting your body and training it to be out of alignment and expect that one or two adjustments are going to pop it back to normal? It makes absolutely no sense at all. Trying to rebalance one's body is exactly the same concept. Getting things back to a desirable state will likely take years, and I am cool with that. I look forward to the progress.

I am sure there will be plenty to learn along the way, and I will be sure to share. In the meantime I am going to figure out how I will know when to take my remedy and when to take a break. Provided this goes well for me, I plan to have the same thing done for my husband and my boys. What a blessing this could be for all of us. If any of you have any experience with this sort of thing I would love to learn of your journey as well.

Loss of Power

I have shared Scott Noelle's writing here previously, and this particular bit touches on something that I have been thinking a lot about over the past year or so. I will share my thoughts after the article:

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

Reminder: Early registration for the Rethinking Education conference and family fun fest, featuring Scott Noelle and others, will end in 7 days! See:
http://www.enjoyparenting.com/rethinking-education

:: Pushing Buttons ::

When toddlers get a hold of computer keyboards, telephones, or any other gadgetry, they go wild pushing buttons! They're driven to discover the magical powers at their fingertips.

At any age, children are driven to push their parents' "buttons" too! Not because they're "naughty" but for two reasons:

1. They need to know what's there -- to map the emotional terrain and keep the map up to date.

2. It's an efficient way to get their parents' heightened attention *and* feel more powerful.

When your child pushes your buttons, s/he's doing you a favor: revealing that you've given your power away to the triggering behavior or conditions.

When you de-activate your buttons -- consciously choosing to stay Connected and Present, regardless of conditions and behavior -- you reclaim your Authentic Power! You cease to be someone who can be controlled like a mindless machine.

And your child will lose interest in the buttons you've de-activated, especially if you're also helping him or her find better ways to feel powerful.

http://dailygroove.net/pushing-buttons

--> Get "The Daily Groove" BOOK!
http://www.enjoyparenting.com/book

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)
Copyright (c) 2009 by Scott Noelle


The first phrase that got my attention was, "When your child pushes your buttons, s/he's doing you a favor: revealing that you've given your power away to the triggering behavior or conditions." I have acknowledged the need in my own life to have better control over myself in situations that are less than desirable for me. I have family members that are intense, and I can be as well. It is my honest and true desire to remain grounded in any confrontational situation.

That being said, I struggle with keeping my cool in all situations. Some times are easier than others. Certain things may be a factor like being over tired, in pain, or distracted. In such circumstances it is easier to speak without thinking first. However, in no circumstance is it ever effective to let someone know that it is not okay for them to speak to you in a certain way while you, yourself are not using a level tone. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

I continue to struggle with thinking before I speak and maintaining a calm and controlled voice in ALL circumstances. I do pray about this, and I have made it a priority to learn how to NOT be ruled by my emotions.

Taking this a step further it is also my goal to not let the mood of someone else determine how I feel. If someone is frustrated, sad, angry, impatient, you name it, I desire for it to be second nature for me not to react emotionally. Just because someone else is having a rough moment does not mean that I need to succumb to their emotional state and join in their misery. There is no reason that I should not be able to maintain a level head and heart. However, I still struggle with this, and I find it even more frustrating than than the first mentioned dilemma.

Personally, I had never thought of it the way that Scott put it in reference to giving your power away. I can plainly see that that is precisely what we are doing when we react in such unsavory ways. I am even more determined than ever to become centered to a point that this is no longer a struggle for me. There is no reward in being out of control or hot headed.

Have any of you taken this journey? Are you still struggling? Have you mastered the art of staying level and calm in all situations? What have you learned? What are you willing to share? Wisdom, experience, and insight is desired. So, share with us oh wise and faithful readers!