When Life Gives You Lemons - A Reflection on Being Burned Out and Overwhelmed

Let me start this by saying that I have NO ANSWERS.  You won't likely find any solutions to your personal plight of burnout and the feeling of being overwhelmed from me.  But, what did you expect from a lady that has been desperately trying to keep up with a blog titled 'The Zoo Crew'?  I mean, really.

When my older seven were young and all living actively at home I would enter each summer with such hope and zeal.  My idea of summer was a slow paced few months filled with books lazily read on the porch, glasses of lemonade, trips to the beach, and occasional stops at the local ice cream shop.  Maybe a fun game of putt-putt golf.  Honestly, they rarely resembled anything of the sort.  So, as the years passed, and my hair took on a little more silver, I grew to lowering my expectations and ultimately doing away with any expectations at all.  A quote that I heard once, but I do not remember the source, has stuck with me for many a year now.

"Expectations are the surest path to disappointment."

Does this mean we should never have any expectations?  Well, of course not.  I'm not sure how much we'd accomplish in life without any expectations at all.  However, there is some real value in knowing when to have expectations and when to just let them go.  It's really quite freeing, and I would argue just the prescription for preserving what little sanity one may be managing to hold onto within the confines of this insanity we call living life.

Yes.  I said it.  Living life involves at least a little level of insanity.  (Sometimes a VERY LARGE level.)  Dealing with insanity in others as well as ourselves is a non-negotiable part of living life.   Nothing is ever as simply played out as an episode of Leave it to Beaver or Andy Griffith.  We face challenges each.and.every.day.  Some things we self-inflict, and others things are imposed upon us by those we come in contact with by whatever means.  Some challenges are monumental catastrophes while others are minor inconveniences.  Yet all things pull together, piling on top of each other, to create our own personal pack of burdens to weigh heavily on our backs.

Sometimes our packs are light, but other times our burdens seem to spill out the top.  There are so many things to manage and process in any given day, any given moment.  We all find our ways of coping and sifting through.  If I'm totally honest, I have to admit that I have been living with a bit of anxiety this summer.  There is just SO MUCH that I need to do.  Now, more than ever, I totally understand why someone would hire a house keeper, a cook, a gardener, a farm hand, and/or a nanny.

When I was younger it was easier to juggle everything, even with seven children.  The hubby and I have been through A LOT these past 19 years, and we're just plumb tuckered out.  Honestly, I know that we've been through tougher times.  Way tougher times.  Trust me.  I know.  I lived them.  Live and in living color with all the vivid realities and emotions involved.  We face life head on and we survive.  It's just what we do; how we roll.  Being able to face adversity boldly and with determination has to be the one thing we both have in common that rises above whatever else it is that binds us together.

Just because we know how to face and manage a life challenge doesn't mean that we welcome them with open arms.  There comes a time when you just desire life to serve you lemonade, not force you plant, harvest and squeeze your own.  Sometimes you just want your lemonade handed to you on a silver platter.

"Yes, please!"

Even though I wouldn't consider us to be old, we have learned over time to appreciate the moments that make up our life.  I am reminded of a time when I was happy, felt accomplished, by the crossing off of each day on the calendar.  Then, one day it dawned on me that the crossing off of a day on the calendar is not something to be so readily celebrated.  That big X on the calendar is a visible reminder of another 24 hours behind us that can never be recovered, a day closer to the end of our time on this constantly moving sphere propelling us through space and time.  Days gone by are created by present moments, and the only way we can truly capitalize on them is by being as completely present as humanly possible in each and every moment that consumes our life.

Trust me.  I am working on this.  Really.  I am.  Like everything it is a process though.  I don't believe that you can't teach an old dog new tricks.  As long as our hearts are beating and our minds are working we CAN learn new ways of living.  We CAN become more present grandchildren, children, spouses, parents, fellow human beings.  There is SO MUCH to be gained by just being in the here and now.

"Therefore do not be anxious, saying. 'What shall we eat?' 

or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'

For the Gentiles seek after all these things,

and your Father knows that you need them all.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,

and all these things will be added to you.

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, 

for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.

Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

~ Matthew 6:31-34

It's not only the worries that can bog us down, but the intricacies of just living life; the personal demands we have on us.  Learning to set priorities and just let things go has helped me tremendously.  Does it bother me that my house NEVER (Literally never.  I am NOT exaggerating.) seems to be clean anymore?  Of course it doesn't

BUT.  

Is that more important than cuddling my five-year-old when his cup needs to be filled?  Absolutely not.  The dusting CAN wait.  

Is it more important than coloring with my four-year-old when she just needs some quality time with mama?  Absolutely, unequivocally not.  The sweeping CAN wait.  

Is it more important than watching a movie with my 10-year-old while the littles slumber in quiet time?  100% no way!  The dishes CAN wait.

Is it more important than being there for a friend in need?  Not on a bet.  The laundry CAN wait.  

No matter what, the cleaning will always be there... 

...and the state of my home will NEVER be more important than being there for those that are in my life and need my time.  For time is more valuable than any other commodity of value in my life.  I cannot honestly say that I have always fully understood the true value of my time.  

This year is bringing forth a stage in life that I've never experienced despite the fact that I've raised seven children to adulthood.  We have three young ones in three different grades in our homeschool.  We've done high school like this, but never early elementary, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little bit intimidated by this school year.  I've had two cram sessions of planning so far, and one more on the horizon.  I'm not so sure I'll be fully ready after my last cram session this week, but I will at least be well on my way.  All we can do is just dive in and see what works and what doesn't.  

I am thankful for my more laid back approach to life, the friends and family that encourage me along the way, and the freedom that we have to live and learn together as a family and community.  Although my life is basically nothing like I imagined it would be at this stage in the game I'd be hard pressed to see it any other way.  So, even though summer didn't serve me lemonade on a silver platter, fall is just around the corner in all its glorious splendor.  I have hope that my plans for the school year will be blessed and that my attitude in regard to expectations and mindful living will provide the flexibility we need to find peace in our days and joy in our moments.

And...

...there's always hot cocoa!

Sometimes He Does Things

I know a guy.  His name is John, and sometimes he really does do things; big things.  He's a young guy with a big heart and wisdom beyond his years.  We could all stand to learn a thing or two from the real, as in living real lives, young people that are involved in the communities around us.  John is one of those people.  He's not afraid to try new things, face challenges head on, and help a fellow man out.  I'm quite sure he's given at least one person in this world the shirt off of his back.

John is preparing to give a little more of himself this time around.  He's actually cutting away part of who he is; stepping outside of his comfort zone.  When something touches John's heart or gets his attention in a big way he typically does a little more than just take note.  At some point John acts.  This time around he's sacrificing part of him that has been part of his identity for years.  Of course he's a little nervous, but you remember what I said about this guy, right?  He is stepping outside of his comfort zone and putting the interest of his fellow man, in this case children, before his own temporary anxious feelings.

A while ago John met a girl.  Her name is Danielle, and once she figured out he is the all around good guy he is a friendship was formed, and St. Baldrick's Foundation was the topic of conversation.  Danielle was still walking around sporting evidence of her sacrifice for this foundation investing in the interest of young children.  It got his attention.  With people of all varieties and ages being the calling of John's heart he readily committed part of himself to the cause.

So, what is this guy John going to do, you ask?

At a volunteer-organized local event John will be taking a turn in the barber chair.  His efforts of fundraising and public awareness on the topic of childhood cancer will culminate with the shaving off of his SIX INCH mohawk.  That's right.  John has been raising money over the past year to support the efforts of St. Baldwick's Foundation and will take a seat in the barber chair this March to have his crowning glory shaved clean off for a cause he believes in.

Taking note of John's example, now is a good time to reflect on your beliefs and what you stand for.  Is there something you feel passionate about?  Have you thought about it lately?  Where is your energy focused?  Are you honoring your passions, pursuing your dreams, living life with gusto, and taking action on matters important to you?  If not, maybe now is a good time for a reevaluation.  We could all use to do just that from time to time.

John Hoffman is an entrepreneur, giver of time and self, and all around good guy.  His day jobs as a Brand Developer at Project Dignity Outreach, an on-air personality at The Corner with K-Hubb, and Project Manager at Fusion Marketing Michigan keep him busy, but they don't slow him down.

Behold the Power

One of the most powerful books I have ever read, more than once, is The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian.  If your marriage is anything at all like mine you have weathered a storm or two, or fifty, as a married couple.  I don't think I've ever felt more helpless than when my husband is struggling on a deep and personal level.  How this book crossed my path I am unsure, but I am forever thankful.

Personally, I believe there no more powerful tool at our disposal than prayer, and I hold it as a treasured gift.  It is unclear to me how I ever made it as far as I did before I ever discovered the power of prayer within my own life.  I do, however, attribute my survival to my dedicated and prayerful grandmother, among other caring family members.  Prayer is our direct connection to God; our family tie if you will.  There is no better place to focus our time and energy than with our relationship with the Father.

I have felt compelled to pick up this wonderful tool once again.  Initially I was just going to access the prayers, as they are powerful in and of themselves.  So much so that they have now published the prayers separately for quick reference.  However, it has been about a year now that life fully knocked us off our feet, and my time with the Creator has suffered.  Inadvertently so has my marriage relationship.  It's no surprise, really, when time is of a premium.  There are only so many hours in a day, and some things take longer to bounce back from than others.  When life throws you a curve ball sometimes it hits you square between the eyes!  It can take some time to focus past the stars circling your head.

In the past year we have welcomed two new young ones into our fold, settled more fully into our county home, experienced the re-entrance and exit of our college age son to and from our home - leaving a huge wake that we are still recovering from, and severed some pretty strong family ties.  There is a lot of emotional energy that was expended through these huge life events right at a time when we were expecting to experience a more laid back way of life.  Then, of course there's more, you add on a struggling business just to frost that tasty life cake, and you've got one sweet concoction sitting right in the middle of your dining room table.  It's a cake I'd rather toss in the trash than indulge in, but alas it is our lot to eat every last bite.

Here in lies the choice.  Will every bite be bitter and hard to swallow, or will we find the sweetness that lies within?  Enter The Power of a Praying Wife.  Past experience has taught me that when my mind is focused on my relationship above, and my relationships with those near and dear, the bites I do have to swallow taste all the more sweet.  When I choose to start my day with prayer, especially prayer focused on my most important relationship, the day goes by much more smoothly than when I neglect to do so.  Today I choose to focus on the most important things.  Today I begin with focused prayer for my husband.

"Through wisdom a house is built, 

and by understanding it is established; 

by knowledge the rooms are filled 

with all precious and pleasant riches."

~ Proverbs 24:3,4