Focus on What Matters

Anyone that has poked around The Zoo Crew, even the slightest little bit, surely has discovered that we are living a life a little less ordinary.  Life has a way of catching us off guard, turning us on our heels, and sending us in a whole different and unexpected direction.  I am not saying this is bad, per say.  It does however pose some challenges.  As the years have gone by we have learned more and more how to respond more effectively and transition more quickly to our new found place in life.

I have learned to pray more; more often, more fervently, and more specifically.  Life is SO MUCH easier when I start my day with prayer and bible study.  It is AMAZING the difference this one act can make on the quality of my day.  Beginning in prayer sets the tone for the day, and it centers my focus.  I am more conscious of my purpose and much more aware of what is truly important.

Listen to my words, Lord, consider my lament
Hear my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. 

In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly. 

─ Psalms 5:1-3

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, 

by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, 

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  

─ Phillipians 4:6-7

Our newest transition involves two beautiful girls and a headfirst dive back into active homeschooling.  We have learned some things along the way, and we are working on making a safe and stable home for the entire family.  This means some trial and error has taken place, and we have had to learn a new way of living.  One thing that we do is to begin and end our day with biblical focus.  The kids love it, and it brings us together as a family.  So, not only am I beginning my day in the bible, but the children are as well.

Currently, we are reading the book of Luke.  We have traveled our way through the Old Testament over the last year, learning lessons through our previous curriculum. We loved it and look forward to more in depth study in the future.  Now, we are beginning the day with me reading an entire book from the bible.  Then Harmony reads aloud a complementary bit from another source reinforcing what we just read and helping her to grasp the scripture more fully.  All of the kids enjoy this part of our day, and it sets a nice tone.

I share this with you to demonstrate that we are focusing on what is important and cutting a lot of slack in other areas.  The biggest lesson that I have learned is that there are seasons in all of our lives, and the areas of most importance change with those seasons.  Through it all our foundation, our relationship with Christ, holds the highest importance.  It matters not if we travel the valley, climb the hills, or rest on a plateau.  Our connection with Christ is our life force.  It is our purpose; our guiding light.

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: 

but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

- Ephesians 6:4

For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, 

but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.

- Mark 10:45

For our family it has become essential to get back to the basics, find our center, and focus on the core.  Your basics, your center, and your core are very likely different than ours.  What it means for us now, during this season of our lives, is to slow down and focus on the basics.  We are learning to lean on Christ, respect ourselves and others, and to live life with an others focus instead of a self focus.  It is more challenging than you might think.

What does this mean for our family?

Aside from putting Christ first in our daily lives, each day we keep the same "schedule".  This means we try to have the same flow throughout each day.  The exact time on the clock may not be the same, but the order in which we do things is consistent.  This fosters a sense of security and stability for the kids, and it is remarkable the effect it has on their behavior.  This becomes completely evident when we stray from it too long!

You see?  I am really not a schedule person.  I am a total unschooler at heart, and I LOVE freedom!  However, the most important thing in the happiness, well being, and educating of my children is by far for me to maintain a consistent schedule.  This means 24/7, even on Sabbath!  UGH!  I do it kicking and screaming all the way, but each time I get too "relaxed" with my approach I am quickly reminded of the error of my ways.  So, we keep a schedule of sorts, and the kids thrive in knowing what to expect next.  

He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand, 

but the hand of the diligent maketh rich.

- Proverbs 10:4

In regard to "academics" I have also discovered that there is a season for things of a school nature as well.  We follow a basic outline, but it changes greatly based on our current circumstances, the needs and desires of our children, and even the weather.  Yes, the weather!  Life is seasonal, and learning is life.  So, it makes perfect sense that what we learn flows with the seasons.  I am excited for spring this year for possibly the first time ever.  We are on land now, and we have young children, and this winter was C-O-L-D.  We have projects waiting to be done, and we have children desperate to be outside.  This year will be my first year purchasing rain coats.  We will be outside rain or shine, as long as it is warm enough, all spring, summer, and fall for the first time ever in my life.  The land will not wait for us.  It will do its thing whether or not we are outside and active, so if we want to achieve the plans we have we need to work diligently.

In academics, now is a time for us to explore writing, reading, and math with excitement and interest, not drudgery.  I strive to create an environment rich with opportunity for learning in order to foster natural curiosity and interest.  So far, so good.  The difference is that we are fitting these core subjects in AROUND the things that foster character and family bonding.  Things like cooking, household responsibilities, playing games and doing puzzles, free play, writing to friends and family, doing kind deeds, and being helpful.

Trust me.  There was a time when I could not have approached life in this manner.  I was too busy washing the dishes and folding laundry to focus on the character building opportunity before me with my children.  Our unique circumstances have fostered a new desire for this batch of children currently in my charge.  I am more concerned about their heart, their soul, and their spirit.  I recognize that all those other things, the academics, will come in their own time, naturally.  They need not be forced, and it is all learning, all connected, and all important.  Sometimes we just need to adjust our focus.

It's Okay

Ever just get so caught up in life that any real downtime just seems like the eye of the storm?  Well, yeah, that's pretty much where I've been the last year or so.  The phrase, "Hold on tight. It's going to be a bumpy ride.", perfectly sums up my entire life, I think.  Initially I was going to say it described the past year, but it does not take too close of an examination to determine that it pretty much encompasses my entire existence.  There has been plenty more craziness than there has been  so called normal time, and I've always held out for 'normal', whatever that might be.

Now that I am older and wiser grayer I know that there really is no such thing as normal, and even the idea of it really isn't something to strive for.  The ticket to a peaceful existence isn't striving for something, likely unattainable, rather it is total acceptance of your current existence.  That is the real ticket for making the unattainable attainable, if you determine that you'd still like to reach for it.

The exceptional intensity of the past year has taught me a few lessons.  The most important of them being that it's okay.  Really, it is.  Even when things seem unbearable, and the load feels way too heavy, it's okay.  When you messed up for the umpteenth time and yelled at your child, it's okay.  When things have been so hectic that it takes you two weeks to catch up on laundry and dishes, it's okay.  When your eyes have bags under them so big they need a baggage carrier, well, it's okay.

This, too, shall pass.

Seasons come, and seasons go.  So do the troubles and trials of our life.  Something has to fill the gaps, and those are the times we breathe; the times we let our hair down and catch up on our sleep.  The times between the chaos last longer for some of us than others, but if we pay attention and grow wiser, along with growing grayer, we learn to linger in the down times.  The calm waters somehow become more beautiful and more cherished as we gray since we have spent more time in the stormy seas.

The key to my sanity?  Constant prayer.  Period.

Oh, there are other things that hold importance; morning devotions, good friends, a loving extended family, and community involvement.  However, none of these valued aspects of my life even hold a candle to an active prayer life.  There is peace in prayer.  It is our direct connection with our Creator.  Prayer links
us to God and gives us access to the power in His Word.  The more time we spend in prayer the stronger we become.  The stronger we become the more we are able to carry the weight hoisted on our shoulders, and the sweeter the rest when we are gifted a reprieve.

"Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. 

See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, 

patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. 

You too, be patient and stand firm, 

because the Lord’s coming is near. 

Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, 

or you will be judged. 

The Judge is standing at the door!   

Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, 

take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. 

As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. 

You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. 

The Lord is full of compassion and mercy." 

~ Ecclesiastes 7:7-11

Perspective

I love winter!

It's like God gives the earth a little face lift with each beautiful blanket of snow.  Watching all four seasons has been especially enjoyable for me this past year.  Just over two years ago we left the city life behind and found our forever home, Lord willing, in the country.  I still haven't gotten a pair of cowboy boots, but their time will come.

Just when we thought things were settling down for us our little snow-globe got turned upside down and shaken heard.  It has caused me to stop and reflect and SEEK the beauty around me with that much more zeal.  Yesterday, we received a light dusting of snow.  You know, the kind where it just barely covers things, and you can see the grass poking through, and the roadways are clear.  In years gone past that would have disappointed me.  I love the kind of snowfall where the sky just opens up, and it never seems like it will stop dropping buckets of snowflakes everywhere.  I love the kind of snowfall where time stops, and hot cocoa is sipped, and books are read.  That is my kind of snowfall.  However, yesterdays flakes were enjoyed by me just as much as the pulling your neighbors car out of the snowbank kind.  Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder, and how we perceive things really is up to us.

The snowfall didn't change.  I did.

Through immense challenges comes tremendous growth, if we allow ourselves to be taught.  I am making a concerted effort to be a willing student.  We learn SO MUCH more when we actually allow ourselves to be taught.

"Teach me, and I will hold my tongue:

and cause me to understand where I have erred."

~ Job 6:24

My constant prayer is to learn as much as possible, as quickly as possible, from the lessons laid before me so that my wisdom may increase, and the duration of my lesson may decrease.  Lord willing, I will see the days of repeating the same lessons over, and over, and over as a distant memory.  I continuously ask God for more wisdom.  It is only through fully learning and understanding the lessons we are given that our outlook, or perspective, on life can be healed.  We must be taught to see the beauty in all things.  It is always there for us to behold.  We just have to choose to see it.

Behold the Power

One of the most powerful books I have ever read, more than once, is The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian.  If your marriage is anything at all like mine you have weathered a storm or two, or fifty, as a married couple.  I don't think I've ever felt more helpless than when my husband is struggling on a deep and personal level.  How this book crossed my path I am unsure, but I am forever thankful.

Personally, I believe there no more powerful tool at our disposal than prayer, and I hold it as a treasured gift.  It is unclear to me how I ever made it as far as I did before I ever discovered the power of prayer within my own life.  I do, however, attribute my survival to my dedicated and prayerful grandmother, among other caring family members.  Prayer is our direct connection to God; our family tie if you will.  There is no better place to focus our time and energy than with our relationship with the Father.

I have felt compelled to pick up this wonderful tool once again.  Initially I was just going to access the prayers, as they are powerful in and of themselves.  So much so that they have now published the prayers separately for quick reference.  However, it has been about a year now that life fully knocked us off our feet, and my time with the Creator has suffered.  Inadvertently so has my marriage relationship.  It's no surprise, really, when time is of a premium.  There are only so many hours in a day, and some things take longer to bounce back from than others.  When life throws you a curve ball sometimes it hits you square between the eyes!  It can take some time to focus past the stars circling your head.

In the past year we have welcomed two new young ones into our fold, settled more fully into our county home, experienced the re-entrance and exit of our college age son to and from our home - leaving a huge wake that we are still recovering from, and severed some pretty strong family ties.  There is a lot of emotional energy that was expended through these huge life events right at a time when we were expecting to experience a more laid back way of life.  Then, of course there's more, you add on a struggling business just to frost that tasty life cake, and you've got one sweet concoction sitting right in the middle of your dining room table.  It's a cake I'd rather toss in the trash than indulge in, but alas it is our lot to eat every last bite.

Here in lies the choice.  Will every bite be bitter and hard to swallow, or will we find the sweetness that lies within?  Enter The Power of a Praying Wife.  Past experience has taught me that when my mind is focused on my relationship above, and my relationships with those near and dear, the bites I do have to swallow taste all the more sweet.  When I choose to start my day with prayer, especially prayer focused on my most important relationship, the day goes by much more smoothly than when I neglect to do so.  Today I choose to focus on the most important things.  Today I begin with focused prayer for my husband.

"Through wisdom a house is built, 

and by understanding it is established; 

by knowledge the rooms are filled 

with all precious and pleasant riches."

~ Proverbs 24:3,4

Out to...VBS!

Just a quick note to thank my dedicated visitors and Entrecard Droppers! I know I haven't been too active with the visiting and dropping myself. The month of July has been exceptionally busy. We had our mini-vacation, two birthdays, the family reunion that I was in charge of, and now VBS. I am the director again this year, and it is in full-swing this week. We are all SO blessed! Everything always works out, and everyone has fun.

If you think to, please keep our program in prayer. We have about 75% of the children as visitors! This is just so wonderful. Our church is a little short on young ones, so we really reach out to the community. This is the second year that my assistant and I have run the program, and we have learned so much.

We also have visitors from Solid Ground, a local transitional housing program. Please keep these families in prayer. They have been through so much and need all the support, love and encouragement that they can get. Solid Ground is our special outreach program. The children are actually learning how to pray, and outreach is actually part of the VBS program. It's a beautiful thing!

After the program is over, I promise to be back in full swing. I'll be visiting all of your sites, so keep leaving those Entrecards! Enjoy the rest of the month. Fall is just around the corner!

Love Never Fails

This morning I was reading from I Corinthians chapters 13 through 15 in the Message Bible. I have 13:3-7 hanging on my bathroom wall as a reminder, but it bears repeating:

"If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, not matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I am bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut.
Doesn't have a swelled head.
Doesn't force itself on others.
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts in God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end."

I have been struggling with some personal "love" issues, and what stood out to me was, PUTS UP WITH ANYTHING. Really? That was a tough one to swallow for me this morning. Taken literally, that can be rather frightening. Are we really capable of putting up with anything? Am I capable of putting up with anything? Well, I think I already know the answer to that.

Doesn't all really go back to being selfless as opposed to being selfish? We really are self-centered beings, don't you think? As selfish people, naturally, are we capable of at least fighting the flesh and learning to be selfless? Where do we draw the line between being selfless and being a doormat? That is the part that is always most difficult for me. I mean, I do have needs myself. Do they not matter at all?

I think the answer, as always, lies in Christ. If we are completely dependent on Him, then what else do we really need? Of course, there are moral guidelines to follow. Thankfully, elsewhere in the Bible we are taught how to deal effectively with the people in our lives. I have heard it said numerous times; I have even said it myself, "Too bad children don't come with an owner's manual." Well, let me tell you, they do! The Bible is God's guidebook gifted to us. Prayerful study will reap you many rewards and abundant wise counsel. Dig deeply my friends!

Stinkin' Thinkin'

It has not been too long yet, and I am already thinking I need to read The Sexually Confident Wife again. The book did a good job of teaching you how to keep your thinking in check, and I could use a booster shot. Why is it so easy to get off on a destructive thinking path?

It seems hubby and I are clashing heads a lot lately. It's not anything big, really. We just seem to spend a lot of time misunderstanding each other and being defensive. Even though I don't think what we are having a confrontation over is worth the magnitude of our attitude I just cannot seem to keep myself from going there.

As I am typing this I am wondering if I have been neglecting my prayer life. Oh, I pray constantly, but I haven't had my morning Bible reading time and beginning of the day prayer in probably weeks. I didn't realize it until this very moment. I know the importance of starting out on the right foot, but honestly I haven't even been getting breakfast regularly. Skipping meals is another thing I have struggled with for years. I know the destruction it inflicts on my body, so I have changed my ways. However, when things get hectic or stressful I just seem to naturally gravitate to old, bad habits. Let's recap. So far I have listed two bad habits; morning prayer time and breakfast.

As a mother it is so natural for me to put my needs first. It has been years that I have been thinking on a daily basis that I need to implement a regular exercise regimen. Yet, here I sit still needing to lose a full 60 pounds. If only mentally exercising your body would prove fruitful! I'd have been my ideal weight a year ago. Bad habit recap: no morning prayer, no breakfast, and no exercise.

Hmmm...I'm starting to see a pattern here. Maybe if I pledged to take care of myself first everything else would be easier to maintain. What do you think? Even though my schedule is insane I think now is the time to try something new. For the next seven days I am going to slow down. I am going to do some low-impact exercise, spend time in the Bible and prayer, and eat breakfast each and every day before I do anything else. Do you think it is possible?

I'll let you know how it goes.

Prayer Request

As some of you may already know, Pat's dad is not doing well at all. He is 80 years old, has stage four lung cancer and pneumonia. He has been in the hospital since Tuesday morning. He was taken there with his wife, Pat's mom, by ambulance.

He is in the Critical Care Unit at the hospital. His lungs and heart are working against each other. The lungs are filling with fluid thereby putting pressure on his heart. This causes a decreased heart rate which in turn makes it difficult for the lungs to empty of the fluid. Around and around we go in a catch two-two.

Today, Wednesday, his health has been up and down. At times he would seem coherent, and other times he would be confused and disoriented. They had to use the paddles on him earlier due to a sudden drop in his hear rate. I am still unsure as to whether or not he had a heart attack. They also gave him some blood on the suspicion of a blood clot in his lungs. He has a terrible time breathing and is wearing a oxygen mask.

Pat's mom and dad have been married for 60 years. They are a wonderful couple, and this just breaks my heart. Pat is one of seven children, so you can imagine how many of us have been keeping vigil at the hospital. There is a strong sense of family and unity right now...praise God!

Please keep Pat's dad, mom, and our family in your prayers. It has been my prayer that God will keep him comfortable and at peace and grant the family strength and faith through this tough time. Also, it is my prayer that those that do not know God may find Him in this experience, and those that do will be drawn closer to Him.

Anxiety

How do you handle stress? Lately, I have been feeling a bit anxious. It seems my husband and I have been at a bit of an impasse, and it is causing me some unrest. We just haven't been clicking. Do you know what I am talking about?

We have been together for 11 years, and we are headed for our third wedding anniversary. Seems odd, I know. There's a bit of history there that I may share at a later date. Irregardless, we have seven children and four grandchildren with another in the "oven".

Being a combined family adds it's own spin on things. Then you factor in stresses like another daughter pregnant, a kid stranded in Georgia, a dad in the hospital, an unstable economic situation, business uncertainty, unwarranted debt, unexpected college costs, being home educators, and personal baggage. All things considered it's a wonder we're not in matching padded cells at the local loony bin. I would say relational woes would really be expected in such a life.

The thing of it is my current inability to process and react effectively. Yes, I am still praying constantly. If I didn't do that I'd surely at least have my own padded cell. I can't imagine functioning without a personal relationship with God. In my mind that would be certain death. Life is challenging enough with Him. I don't even want to try it on my own. Yes, I am still working through Healing is a Choice. I know it's beneficial, but putting one foot in front of the other is more and more difficult. It feels like walking through wet cement.

I keep trying to stay calm and not react flippantly to my husband when he lashes out verbally. I understand that he is under a tremendous amount of pressure. I know that all everyone really wants is love and respect. It is my goal to be loving and respectful in the face of confrontation. Could there be anything more challenging?

I use my husband as an example because it seems to be most challenging to engage in these practices with those we are supposed to be closest to, although I find this almost as challenging with my children. It does seem to be a little easier with them. The relationship dynamics are different, and kids seem to be more forgiving. However, my goal is to maintain emotional stability in the face of whatever is presented before me.

Do any of you have insight to share on this topic? I would love to hear how you deal with stress and maintaining a kind and loving attitude even when someone lashes out at you unexpectedly. It's like trying to stand upright after being punched in the gut. How do you do it?

Pat's Dad

Well, tough times are here. Pat's dad is in the hospital, and it's worse than we thought. About two months ago they found cancer the size of an egg in one of his lungs. Pat's dad is a smoker big time. As soon as he found out he quit smoking to prepare for surgery. They needed to increase his lung capacity in order for him to be strong enough to withstand the operation.

Quitting smoking wasn't enough, so they did physical therapy. That didn't work either. Surgery was put off. This past week they decided to take a biopsy of the lump and went in to get it. Like I said, his lung capacity is down and it collapsed. It was terrifying. From then on it has been artificially filled. They tried to plug it the other day and let it keep itself inflated, and it collapsed again.

We don't know how much more his body can stand. He is not doing well at all. His memory is shot, and you can tell he's scared. It seems to bother him most that he cannot remember things as opposed to the health issues that he is having.

Please keep Pat's dad, Ervin, and his family in your prayers. This is a real tough time for everyone. Pat and his siblings have been taking turns staying the night with his mom to get her back and forth to the hospital and make sure she is alright. I know this is tough on everyone. Your prayers are appreciated very much.

HSLDA ~ German Family Faces Trial

As a home school mom I find myself constantly interested in the goings on of fellow home school families around the world, especially Germany. Here is a story from my most recent HSLDA newsletter that you may find interesting:

HOME SCHOOL LEGAL DEFENSE ASSOCIATION

HOME SCHOOLING / INTERNATIONAL

Germany

June 17, 2008

German Family Faces Trial, Possible Jail Time for Homeschooling

The Dudek family in Archfeld, Germany will be tried on June 18 for homeschooling their children. The Dudeks have quietly and successfully educated their children at home in obedience to God but in the face of Germany’s restrictive laws regarding homeschooling.

The family faces German prosecutor Herwig Mueller, who appealed the previous judge’s ruling that the family be fined. Prosecutor Mueller believes that a fine is insufficient to punish the Dudek family for homeschooling and told the family, “You don’t need to worry about the fine, because I am going to send you to jail.”

The Dudeks homeschool their seven children because of their religious convictions, and they have done well. One of their older son recently received the highest marks in a public school evaluation. The Dudeks are heartbroken at the thought of having to choose between their home and homeschooling.

In Germany, courts have decided that it is an abuse of parental rights to homeschool. Many German homeschooling families face a stark choice—hide or flee. This is not a choice that citizens of a free democratic country should face for homeschooling. Germany’s behavior and treatment of parents who homeschool is outside the boundaries that should be tolerated by freedom-loving nations. In fact, in response to a question recently about homeschooling, Jan Figel, the Commissioner for Education for the European Union, stated that even though education is a national issue, parents should have the right to decide what is best for their children, and that this right is protected by the European Charter.

In spite of this, the German Federal Government passed a law to make it easier for the Youth Welfare Office to take children who are “endangered”—a term that is not defined in the new law and would allow for complete discretion on the part of authorities to decide and when and how to intervene in a family. The Youth Welfare Office has shown a willingness to seize children of homeschooling families in the past, as in the case of Melissa Busekros and others.

The Dudeks are grateful for the prayers and encouragement they have received from homeschoolers in America and other countries. They feel that they are not alone, and they are confident that regardless of the judicial outcome, they are following their convictions and the calling of God.

HSLDA asks all of our praying members to remember the Dudek’s this week as they face this trial. Their brave example helps to point out the outrageous behavior of a so-called “free country” and demonstrates what we in America know—that freedom isn’t free—it is purchased with a price. The Dudek’s are confronted with the cost of following their convictions. And their example is one we should remember as we consider our own freedom.

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