Waiting for the Bloom

  

It's been a while since I've participated in Friday Farm Girls, and I did miss it.  Thank you to Illinois Lori from Serenity in the Suburbs for resurrecting this old project of hers.  It really does bring me great pleasure to document our progress from finding the bits of country within our small city space to actually creating a life in the country.  Yes, I am officially a Farm Girl now.  Well, sort of.  

In August of 2011 we purchased 11 acres in SE Michigan.  It's like moving to another world.  Our home for the past 15 years, and the only way of life we'd ever known, was located in a very urban suburb of Detroit.  It was my next to youngest son that opened my eyes to the nature that existed around us and made my existence in the city much more bearable.  See?  I always wanted to live in the country.  Our 'Five Year Plan' turned into a '15 Year Plan', and this meant I had to deal with some emotions along the way.  It was only after I accepted where I was, made it home, and stepped out of the way that God was able to do amazing things in our life.

Anyone that's visited The Zoo Crew any number of times knows the journey we've been on.  We are a combined family of now eight children.  We came together as a blended family with seven children never imagining there would be an 'ours' in the future.  Well, surprise, surprise!  We adopted Avery and brought him home from the hospital in January of 2010.  Essentially, we are starting family life all over.  We actually get to raise one, at least one, child in the setting and the fashion we always dreamed of with the others.  It is an amazing gift that I am so thankful for.  

You see?  I never wanted to raise children in the city.  Something within the core of my being told me that I needed to be in the country; my family needed the country.  For whatever reason that was not to be, until now. It's almost like getting a second chance at life.  I am quite certain I would have been more physically up for the challenge at 27 than 41, but you'll hear no complaints here.  There is a big blessing going into it with the love and appreciation I now hold based on my personal experience to this point.  Now is a time of discovery in so many ways.

We have done so many things already in the eight months we've been here.  Time is flying by, and we are setting our priorities.  The property we bought was lacking just two things that I can tell.  One is a barn, and two is proper care.  We intend to provide both.  Our first really big project will come this summer.  We are preparing to erect a pole barn.  This has been such a long process already.  We're hoping to see it come to fruition by the end of July.  We'll see how that works out.  If I've learned only one thing in the process called living it is to be flexible and not hold too tightly onto expectations.

Here is a little glimpse into our new world and some of the projects we have done on our land already:

 Re-roof shed and lean-to as well as animal structure not pictured.

 Remove shrubs and old porch to create new covered porch.
 (Time to take an after picture.)

 Purchased a 'new to us' tractor for all our many projects to come.

Had a double semi load of wood delivered.  It's enough wood to heat    our home for about four years.  This will give us time to manage our property, harvest downed trees, and give them time to season.

The inner pile was as large as the outer.  That's how much we got  chopped and stacked so far.

Cleaned up the overgrown hedgerow of lilacs.  This involved removing two trees and a huge bush.  You can see how wet the ditch was.  It drains nicely and stays relatively dry now.

 Working on the hedgerow.







We cleared this area of all undergrowth.  We are currently preparing it as our first planting bed.  I added a Flowering Almond, two butterfly bushes, and two blueberry bushes so far.  Still lots to do here!

Paid to have the wood pile moved by a local man with a bigger tractor. Now there's room to prepare for the pole barn.

Planted six trees.  This is the Jane Magnolia I've always wanted.  We laid Gypsy to rest underneath the tree.  She was my awesome dog of nearly 15 years that passed right during our move.

As I take the time to get to know our new space on Earth I am finding that I am learning a new lesson.  There is joy in the waiting.  Spring is a time of discovery, and since this is our first spring on this piece of land, everything is a new discovery.  How exciting is that?

We moved here in the fall when everything was doing what it does to get ready for winter.  It wasn't long before the fall blooms faded, and the leaves fell from the trees.  The landscape changed.  Most things living went into hibernation, and so did we in a way of sorts.  We slowed down.  Inside and outside work ceased. No more remodeling, no more big outdoor chores.  The most labor intensive thing we did was stack wood, and we even got a lot of slack on that this time thanks to the incredibly mild winter we had here in SE Michigan.  It was a time of waiting, planning, and getting comfortable in our new surroundings.  We had never lived anywhere else together.  This was a huge undertaking in many ways.

As the weather has begun to give glimpses of summer we have made our way outside.  We have discovered so many things on our land in these few months.  We've learned to be patient and see what things growing do without disturbing them, if we're uncertain as to what they are.  Our curiosity has been renewed.  It is a constant joy to get to know all the living things on our land, plant and animal alike.  We have quite the bunny population explosion going on now, too!  I've discovered where the Chickadees live, and they even built a nest under the roof of our new porch.  I am hoping to have one feed from my hand this summer.  How cool would that be?

Great, beautiful things can happen when we get out of the way and allow ourselves to be guided by something bigger than ourselves.  Some things take longer than others.  Waiting is so important.  Everything worthwhile takes time.  Fall mums are a good example.  In the spring they sure don't look like much.  They're just dead sticks poking out of the ground, if you've not cleared them away the fall before.  I don't know how many times my hubby asked me, "Are you sure they'll grow back?"  I had to reassure him constantly so that he didn't destroy the area where they were growing.  The other day I got to point out to him that they were indeed coming back.  They're barely an inch tall now, but they'll be over a foot in the fall and full of blooms.  Just like they are supposed to be.  Everything blooms in it's time.  Us included.

There are a few bunches of greenery on our property that I have been anxiously awaiting to find out what they are.  Something inside of me just knew they were flowers, even though they didn't look like much.  I pointed them out to the hubby so he didn't destroy them in his endeavors.  He has a knack for doing just that.  Thankfully, we've gotten pretty good at communicating with each other about these things over the years, and he will actually seek me out when it comes to all things growing.  It's just not his department, and he's devastated me enough times over the years wiping out something I've been growing.  Purple Irises come to mind, but that's another story.  Anyway, just about the time I was about to give up the notion that my instincts were correct, and accept that maybe this greenery really wasn't a flower after all, something changed.  Buds appeared on the tips.  I knew it!  The greenery was set to produce flowers, but when?  More waiting.  And, then...

Gorgeous, or what?  Now, I believe this little beauty was worth the wait.  I have a few bunches of them on the property, and I am so thankful.  There wasn't much of the way of landscaping present on our property, so I really have my work cut out for me.  See?  I enjoy growing flowers and produce.  I am so excited to have enough land to actually grow fruit in addition to vegetables.  We have a ton of brambles on the property that I believe to be raspberries, we have a small patch of strawberries given to me by our old neighbor, and there are several fruit trees on the property.  The trees will require some attention, and it will likely be a couple of years before we can really get them to produce usable fruit due to their neglect and the dramatic overgrowth of the plants around them.  In addition to what already existed, I added two blueberry bushes and a cherry tree.  So exciting!

All of these different things, the Lilac Row that needed tending, the Fall Mums, the Brambles, the Fruit Trees, the Mystery Plants yet to be discovered for what they are, and the new goodies we planted recently, all of these things will bloom in their own time.  What a beautiful lesson.  

The Lilac Row needed our help.  We cleaned up the mess, set them free, and got out of their way so they could bloom where they are planted.  

The Fall Mums require no attention.  They are content to do their own thing, and when the time is right, they too, will bloom where they are planted.  

The Brambles have been there for at least decades, I am sure, maybe even longer.  They need no help from me to grow and produce fruit.  Sure, a little tending here and there may help produce better fruit, but the plant intrinsically knows what to do all on its own.  

The Fruit Trees require some assistance, so we will clear their trunks, and set them free from the encroaching wilderness so that they can get the nutrients they need and put their energy into producing an abundance of fruit for a fall harvest.  

The Mystery Plants are content just as they are.  No help is needed from me, but I have no problem relocating them to a new location in order to save them from destruction or allow them to shine more brightly and better share their beauty.

The new goodies require extra attention because they are young and fragile.  They need protection and the proper care to grow into strong, thriving plants that produce their own respective blooms and fruit.

Each and every living thing on our land is unique.  It has it's own personal history.  It's own journey, so to speak.  Each one requiring it's own special amount and type of care to reach it's full potential.  If it is too crowded its blooms will be less abundant and not as easily seen.  However, given the proper care and the right amount of space each one will shine in its own special way.

Oh, how we can learn so much about ourselves and those around us if only we pay close attention to what the things of nature teach us.  God is in the details.  His lessons are everywhere.  If only we learn to take the time to pay attention and take in what is all around us.  Wait patiently for the blooms.  They all open in their own time.

"Bloom where you are planted, and encourage others to do so as well."

I Corinthians 7:17-24

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Avery's picture was picked to participate in a photo contest by Parents.com AGAIN this week.  This is the first time one of his photos have been selected more than once.  I came into it a little late last week, as the email sat in my inbox unnoticed for over three days.  This week, I caught it right away.  LET'S SEE IF WE CAN WIN THIS WEEK!  Please feel free to share in any social media in which you participate; Pinterest, Twitter, Google+, Facebook, etc.

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Where Does the Time Go?

Can you believe it? Avery is already six months old! That is one thing I notice more with him than I did with any of our other children, the passage of time. It really does go by in a blink. Every second that passes cannot be regained. That's just the way life goes. If you don't pay attention, you will miss it all.

I have to agree with the post over at The Art and Science of Parenting. Dad states that, "Sure, you want to have big adventures with your kids sometimes, but what they will really remember about you is if you were there every day for all of their little adventures..." In my opinion there is no greater gift that we can give our children than our time and attention. Kids just want to be with us. They want our undivided attention. It is not important to them to have an elaborate gift or expensive trip. Spending time with us and having fun is all that matters.

The gift that I've received from having Avery in our lives is the realization of just how important time is. We really have such a short period of time here on this earth, and what do we really do with it? What do we spend our time focusing on? Where does our energy go? What is our attitude like? Life really is made up of all the little things. The big things are fleeting, but little things repeat over and over throughout our entire existence. I am quite certain that we can have a lot more fun, find more enjoyment, and bring more delight to others when we learn to shift our focus to the minute moment. Doing so puts us in the here and now; right exactly where we need to be. I can see no other way to be content than to be present, enjoying each moment as it comes.

Don't get me wrong. I still have goals, I still strive to be a more complete individual, I still have desires, but they are not my primary focus anymore. I'm enjoying the slow life. Despite my desire to live in the country, and put myself in an environment that promotes a much slower paced life, I have discovered that one can live in the city and still find that laid back perspective. It's a choice. Our attitude is up to us. It is not determined by our environment. We are in control of how our attitude effects our environment, not the other way around. Talk about an "ah ha moment"!

It's a Hard Knocks Life

Life can be so strange. So, what's new, right? There have been so many blessings of late. Avery's adoption was final May 7th, and we held his dedication at church on June 5th. Business is good at our transmission shop. We're not getting rich or anything, but God is blessing us with enough to meet and exceed our needs and have some left over to help others. Our family is healthy physically, and the mental stuff isn't really too much to handle. Nothing is really, truly over the top at the current moment.

However, things do have a way of never leveling off. Our normal is just a little too crazy for me. It really can be exhausting. I find it difficult, if not impossible, to adjust to our lifestyle even after 14 years. It's just crazy! All my life I have sought peaceful and stable. Well, I've achieved, at least currently, financial stability, but emotional stability is another story. Things are always so chaotic. There is always such need, and it's me that is always needed. There is not one person in our entire family that divides themselves up the way that I do, and I am exhausted. It really does get to be too much.

I would SO love to just focus on the people living in my home, but I am always needed by those living outside of my home. Every time I think I've arrived, something else comes a long to suck away my time. Then, to top it all off there is continuous strife between the hubby and I. The poor guy takes everything, and I do mean everything, personally. That is exhausting...for the both of us. I honestly do not know how he lives with himself when everything is such a big deal. I seriously could not cope with that intensity of emotion. No thank you!

My newest endeavor is to learn how to accept my husband the way he is and how to not react to his intense emotion. Talk about challenging! I seriously do not know how to do that. I have been praying about it, but I still have a long way to go. This is a major "baby step" project that feels like it will take an eternity to accomplish. I so desire it, though!

There is no way that we can raise Avery the way that we desire if we do not get things under control between the two of us. The problem is that I sincerely do not know how to go about it. I can tell you that I have no desire to read ANOTHER relationship book. Counseling is a thing of the past. I doubt I could get him to do that again, and I'm not sure the real benefit other than having an impartial party there to mediate communication. I do miss that aspect of counseling to be sure. Our counselor moved south to work in the prison system. Maybe he was the crazy one.

Maybe I can locate a bible study that would aid me in this department. Any suggestions? I think I may look at the Women of Faith studies. I've done two of them that I really enjoyed. I'd love ideas of you all have any.

Do I Have a Couch Spud?

With our new little man I seem to notice things that I didn't with the other ones. Maybe I have more time. Maybe I am more observant. Maybe the experience with kids lends a keener eye. I can't say the reason, but I do seem to notice things in a different light with Avery.

Our house is always hopping, and the television does seem to be on at various times throughout any given day. When Avery was a brand new baby I would turn it on for light during the middle of the night feedings. Not to mention, it helped me keep my eyes open. However, I did notice something a bit strange to me. At just a couple of weeks Avery had already noticed the television and seemed to be watching it. I actually got to where I would position him facing away from the television during his feedings. I would also make a conscious effort to make eye contact with him.

Now, Avery is three months old, and he has viewing preferences! WHAT? This morning I was watching the news. I tend to watch it briefly each morning to catch the local weather. Well, I was distracted. He was in his exersaucer, and he started to "complain". Yes, he was complaining. We have gotten to a point in baby communication that I can clearly recognize that he was indeed complaining. So, I did an experiment. I switched the television to PBS. I turn it on most mornings when we get up. He quit complaining!

Then, just a little while ago I had Dora on for our two year old granddaughter who was visiting. I didn't notice that it had gone to the menu screen. Avery started to complain again. I turned on Backyardigans, and he started watching it! Who knew? Not me!

I took a peek online to see what the "experts" had to say on the subject, and there seem to be some clear opinions and concerns about infants and television viewing. Some say that children under the age of two should not view television at all; that it may even contribute to attention disorders in adolescence. Some say that certain, quality programs that are specially made for babies may actually be good for infants and their parents. This style of programming encourages constructive play and interaction and even teaches parents how to better assist in the development of their babies.

I can't honestly say where I stand on this. I guess I will have to continue to observe Avery and his television viewing as he learns and grows all the while keeping in mind and being conscious of his interactions with others and quality play time. Too much of anything is usually a bad thing, especially when it's generally a bad thing to begin with. I've always thought that television should be used sparingly, and quality programming should be the prime target. Now, that seems more important than ever.

You Are Here

I do believe we have adjusted to having a baby in the home. Having a little one just seems like normal life now. I am so thankful to God for bringing this little one into our home. What a blessing he is. I had forgotten the feeling of looking upon the face of a baby and seeing the face of God. I had forgotten the feeling in basking in the miracle of birth. Really, babies are completely miraculous, and I am so honored to have been given the chance to watch another miracle unfold.

This little man has made such an impact on our life. I am thankful to be recapturing the precious gift of sleep. We are blessed to be falling on the early side of sleeping through the night. No complaints here! Last night saw 10 straight hours of a sleeping baby at a mere 10 weeks old. I can so live with that.

I'm on to new things and trying to recapture some stability in time management. There are things I let slide that need my attention like the bookkeeping for our transmission repair facility. I'm officially one month behind on the paperwork. It's also becoming evident that I need to be more attentive in my 16 year old's educational progress. Apparently he is not as ready for independence as I had thought. That's okay. I'm coming out of my fog and becoming more able to be there in a larger capacity for him.

It's also time to dive full on back into editing the bulletin for the church and step back into my teaching position with the kids in our Adventurer Club. Life as we knew it has ended forever. Now, we have a new direction. Different things are important, and life's meaning is becoming clearer and clearer. I have taken on a new responsibility aside from motherhood by joining the Fundraising Task Force for Solid Ground, an amazing transitional housing facility right in our neighborhood founded by a wonderful woman that has an amazing love for Christ and all humanity.

I have accepted that things are fallible, and life is unpredictable, and I am a-okay with that. I know that my life may read out better than any soap opera on television, but God loves me. He loves my family, and he cares for us through all things. I may not know where I am being led, but I do know I am here. That is all I need. Life is better savored and lived with intention. Becoming a mother again has taught me to take my time. It's okay to be in the moment and live life to the fullest, intentionally.

Our New Little Guy

Words cannot begin to convey the positive experience it has been welcoming Avery into our family. He is an amazing little guy, and I cannot imagine life without him. This has been a totally awesome experience for all of us, our entire family. You just cannot imagine the way it has brought us together.

First, let me tell you that Amie is doing wonderfully! She was a real trooper in delivery. The experience was wonderful for all of us. Pat and I were both there helping to bring him into the world. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. Helping her delivery Avery was by far the best birth experience I have ever had. I felt so connected to both of them. It was a truly emotional and life changing experience for me. I actually assisted and watched as he came out. Life is SO amazing!

The poor, little guy had the cord around his neck during delivery, so he had to be taken to the nursery where he spent the next two days. It was tough having him in there and not rooming with me, but we are still praising God that he is 100% healthy. It took him a day to begin eating. I guess that's normal for babies that have had that type of experience during delivery. I've been caring for him since the beginning, and we are already bonded to each other. Is there anything better than a baby that knows you are his mommy? I don't think so!

Let me tell you how sexy it is seeing my husband in "daddy mode". This is something that we never thought we would get to experience together. What a gift! Life is different when you get to watch the person you love more than any other melt in the presence of a life shared. Oh, the power of a baby! Now, I am the only woman in a home with four other males. What a turn of events. It used to be that the women out numbered the men two to one. I have to be honest and say that I LOVE being the only lady present. It's pretty cool!

I'll post more later, but in the meantime here's a picture of our new little guy:

Is that not the cutest baby you have ever seen?I could be just a little biased...

The Story

In preparation for Avery I did a lot of research on how to raise him in a way that he would know right from the beginning just exactly who he is. It is our desire for him to always know the truth and know that he is a special member of our family. One of the most challenging things for a child that is adopted is identity. One idea I read about was to write a story for your child about who he is and how he came to you. So, I did just that!

The idea behind the story is that even though babies cannot understand what you are saying they do learn to recognize words. By reading the story you are making the baby familiar with the words associated to his personal story. So, when you talk about it with him as he is able to understand it will be comfortable as he will already be familiar with the story.

Below you will find the story I wrote. I wrote it in a fashion that anyone could read it to him and it would make sense. I am actually going to have it printed into book format. You can do this so easily and inexpensively. It will be nice for him to have his own, special book made for him with love by his mommy. I am sharing it here as an example for others that may benefit from our experience:

Avery Thomas Smith

The moment Mommy and Daddy knew you existed they loved you. It was a warm summer’s day as Amie sat on the front porch with Daddy and Mommy to tell them that you were growing in her belly. The sun was shining making shadows on the wall as they sat together and talked. They all knew there were big decisions to be made, and what mattered most was what would be best for the baby in Amie’s belly, and that was you.

Mommy and Daddy prayed a lot. They asked God to guide them through this process. They prayed for you to be healthy and happy.

Amie knew that she wasn’t ready to be a mommy, and she knew she wanted you to be happy. So, Amie and Mommy spent a lot of time together talking and thinking about what would be best for the baby growing in her belly, and that was you.

After a while Amie and Mommy talked with Daddy. That is when Mommy and Daddy knew that they wanted to be your Mommy and Daddy. They asked Amie if she would allow them the honor of raising the baby in her belly, and that was you.

When they finished talking, Amie asked if she could think about it for a while. Who would get to be your mommy and daddy was a very important decision, and Amie wanted to make sure she took her time and gave it a lot of thought before she made the decision about who would get to raise the special baby growing in her belly, and that was you.

Mommy and Daddy prayed and prayed and prayed. They asked God to be with Amie as she thought about what was best for you and what would make you happy. Mommy and Daddy prayed for you too. They prayed that you would be healthy and that Amie would be happy to bless them with you as their child.

God answered their prayers, and Amie wrote them a letter letting them know that she loved them and she trusted them. She told them that she would love for them to be the mommy and daddy of the baby growing in her belly, and that was you.

Mommy went with Amie to all of her doctor visits and was the first one to see the baby growing in her belly, and that was you. You were so cute and so little. When the doctor told them that you were a boy Amie asked Mommy and Daddy to give you a name. Daddy was so happy and proud that you were a boy. Mommy and Daddy prayed and talked, and mommy did a lot of research.

It was important to Mommy and Daddy that you have a special name that would always remind you just how much they love you. In the fall they finally decided on the perfect name. Their baby would be Avery Thomas Smith. It is such a special name. Avery means wise, and Thomas was Daddy’s oldest brother’s name. Now, the baby growing in Amie’s belly would always know that Mommy and Daddy love him very much, and that is you!

More Waiting

Our new baby is here, praise God! Mom handled delivery wonderfully, and baby is doing fine. However, this certainly hasn't been playing out the way we had longed for. Originally, mom was going to room by herself. Baby and I were going to be in another room. Well, Avery had the cord around his neck during delivery, so his temperature was up a bit. This means that he has been in the nursery since his birth, and we've not held, fed, or changed him yet.

Don't get me wrong, I am praising God that he came out just fine and healthy. It's just tough knowing the little guy is there and not being able to do anything. What a rude welcome into the world! I'm not a fan of hospitals and "official protocol" of any sort, so this is especially challenging for me. Not to mention, I didn't give birth to him myself, and he's not officially ours...yet. So, I'm not as comfortable dealing with things as I would be under normal circumstances. How is it that he's our baby, but we can't do anything? It's very frustrating.

On the other hand, he is so darned cute! Unfortunately pictures will have to wait until I am home. I have my laptop at the hospital with Internet access through their WI-FI connection, but I have no way to upload my pictures on this computer. It looks like we will not come home before tomorrow, Thursday, so you'll just have to wait until we get settled to see his cute, little face.

Please send up a few prayers for me that I will have patience and make the right decisions in regard to his care, and pray for Amie that she will make it through this process a stronger and wiser person. Thanks, everyone.

The Details:

Avery Thomas

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

7:07 p.m.

7 pounds exactly

21 inches long

...with a nice head of dark brown hair!

Just Around the Corner

We went to the first of our weekly OB visits yesterday. Doc says that her body isn't ready to deliver our little Avery yet. Praise God! I am looking forward to having him here, but I am glad to know that I have more time to finish our preparations.

I have been finding wonderful deals on things that are helping in the process of preparing our home for our new bundle of joy. Yesterday, my husband and I picked up a futon style bunk bed for our youngest son that we found through Craig's List. Rearranging his bedroom is our project for this weekend. Last weekend it was the other son's room. Tuesday, my mom helped me go through our office/music room. It was a lot of work with a lot of heavy lifting, but it delivered great reward. Tomorrow, my oldest son and I will be picking up a beautiful sleigh crib with matching changing table and a mattress that we also found on Craig's List. Avery's room is our project that will get started sometime next week.

Can you say, "sore and tired"? I am literally pooped out! I sure hope hubby and I find some time to rest and be together before we have our new addition. My birthday is tomorrow, and I was hoping to spend it relaxing. That will not be the case. I am sure glad that I took advantage of a little pocket of time that revealed itself to me yesterday and went for my free birthday burger at Ruby Tuesday's all by myself. I even had a delicious piece of blackberry cheesecake. Divine! It was a nice 45 minutes or so spent enjoying a quiet corner all by myself. I am a solitary soul, so moments like that are medicinal for me. I was replenishing.

We are praising God that our daughter and the baby are both healthy. All past concerns have been washed away. There are no medical issues to worry about. The plans are to deliver Avery naturally. Hubby and I will take responsibility for him as soon as he enters the world. It will surly be a blessed day. I'll be sure to keep you posted as things develop, lessons are learned, and pictures are taken.

Happy New Year to all!

Brace Yourself!

That's what I'm doing right now. January is going to come in like a lion for me. There is SO MUCH on my To Do List that it can get intimidating at times. I feel a bit overburdened, but I know I am not alone. Thank God for prayer! I sincerely do not know how I would make it through life if I did not have prayer. The older I get the more important my relationship with God becomes. I have grown so much closer to Him in my 30's...only one year left for me in that decade. I am so thankful that God is always there for us no matter what. What a blessing!

As January approaches I find myself in preparation mode. Avery will be here by February, and there is so much to do in the meantime. Today, I updated and paid the bills. The other biggie on my agenda is to get as much done for the lawyer as I can. All of the paperwork and documents need to be in place before Avery is born so that the paperwork can be filed upon his birth.

Tomorrow I plan to get started on the 2009 tax preparations. I figured it was a good idea to get as much of that as possible out of the way before I have a newborn under my wing. I know my days will look a lot different in just a few short weeks. I find myself wondering what kind of baby he will be. Will he be content? (I pray so!) Will he be fussy? Will he like to be held? Will he want to be rocked? Will he have dark skin and hair? Will his eyes be brown? How much will he weigh? Will he take to the bottle easy? Oh my, the questions go on and on.

Wednesday is my day to shop for our family Christmas celebration. We always celebrate on December 31st from NOON to 4PM. This year we are having a soup, salad, and baked potato bar. It should be nice, and simple. That's what we were going for; simple. I'll need to shop for the produce and make my soup ahead of time. Also, that is the day that Adrian and I are going to lunch at Ike's and to a movie. That is his Christmas present to me. I always enjoy hanging out with him.

Thursday we celebrate Christmas with family, then in the evening we celebrate the New Year with the boys and our good friends. Harmony may even be staying the night. We'll see about that one. I haven't decided yet, but she'll likely end up here. She can barely go a week without a Nana and Papa fix!

As we get into January there will be Christmas decorations to put away, things to clean, our daughter moving out, furniture to move around, a room to paint and prepare for Avery, and a lot of shopping to do. I have been waiting to buy things like diapers, bottles and formula. There is so much to consider in their purchase. In the middle of January I will be attending a diaper class through No Pins Required. They are based out of Ferndale which is about 20 minutes from my home. Yes, I am actually considering cloth diapers. They have come such a long way, and they are so economical compared to disposable. We'll see where this adventure leads.

Fortunately, I have my mom coming to help me the week after Christmas. We'll likely do some cleaning and moving of furniture. Then, after our daughter moves out my best gal pal will be coming down to help me prepare Avery's bedroom. Currently we have a bassinet in our room for him, but I know he won't be in that long. I think it will be nice if I am able to have everything set up and waiting for him. Less stress is good by me.

Speaking of stress, my poor hubby has been under a lot for the past couple of months. I know he is real frustrated with personnel type issues at the shop. It seems he will have no choice but to fire and hire. That is such a tough spot to be in, especially when friends are involved. Unfortunately, he seems to have no choice. I just keep praying for wisdom and guidance for him. I know that God works in mysterious ways, and experience has shown that something much greater typically lies on the other side of tough decisions and situations.

A lot is going to change around the Smith Household during January. I am sure there will be blessings and challenges. That's what life is made of, it seems. I am reminded of the Bible verse I have hanging on a tile above my stove, "...rejoice in our suffering, suffering produces perseverance , perseverance character, and character hope..." Romans 5:3 I don't see life as all suffering, but I have learned to see the blessing in suffering. I am thankful for my trials, as that is when I learn and grow. It really is a beautiful thing.

It is my prayer to you that in this New Year you will find the blessings in your struggles and rejoice knowing that there is always hope. Have a richly, blessed 2010!

Phase One Complete

With baby planning, Thanksgiving hosted at my home, and Christmas on the horizon it has been difficult for me to focus my thoughts long enough to even consider writing a new post. To my regular visitors, please accept my apologies. I know it has been pretty boring here with no new content. So much for my old rule of at least one new blog entry per week. My brain is just on overdrive, and if it were not for lists I would never accomplish a thing.

Seeking out cute baby clothes has been quite a pleasure. Who remembers new babies are so tiny? Have you looked at a newborn baby diaper lately? Are their butts really that small? I had to put a stop to my clothes shopping; at least for a while anyway. About the only thing this child needs in the fabric department is some more Onsies and those cute little mittens that stop their little nails from scratching their cute little faces. Other than that, I have the newborn department filled. Time to focus on other things like bottles, nipples, diapers and accessories, blankets, sheets, a monitor, and the million other things I'm not thinking of right now.

Over the years I have grown to know and love certain resale stores in the area. That is one good thing about living in such an urban setting, there are plenty to choose from. Imagine my surprise when I found the cutest little boutique style resale shop, Secret Treasures Upscale Resale, right in the neighborhood. I have managed to find over 95% of the things I have purchased so far all under this one cool, little roof. The quality of their goods is amazing, and you don't have to pick through armloads of items to find something good. It's all good. You just spend your time deciding what is cutest in your size and price range. Love it! This past Friday I found an adorable, like new bassinet for $40; a steal in my book based on the prices of the new ones. I spent the weekend rearranging our bedroom and redecorating the walls. It looks great, and I find myself staring at the bassinet hardly believing that in less than two months there will be this cute little miracle in there completely depending on me for everything.

How is it that babies can be so cute, lovable, and awe inspiring while at the same time completely terrifying? Of course, I don't mean that literally, but there are moments when I do feel a little intimidated. There is solace in knowing that my feelings are all completely normal. It is also interesting to note that this is the most relaxed I have ever been anticipating the arrival of a baby. Maybe it's the fact that I don't have to give birth. (Heaving a BIG sigh of relief!) Barring some unforeseen miracle of God, which we all know he is capable of but hope he's not planning on demonstrating, experiencing the miracle of birth is something permanently checked off of my list of things to experience in my lifetime. AMEN!

As the arrival of our beloved Avery gets closer and closer it is becoming more evident to my husband as well as myself just how different life will be with a newborn around 24/7 and completely dependent upon us for his nurturing. Pat, my husband, and Andrew, our oldest son, went to our friends' home in Big Rapids to do some hunting. When he came home he told me all about this idea he had for us this summer. Our friends would come to our home, and we would ride the motorcycles up the coast of The Thumb to those great cabins we stayed in two years ago for our anniversary. I thought it was a great idea, but I wondered how much fun it would be on the back of the motorcycle with Avery in a sling. Of course, this got a few chuckles out of both of us. The fact that we would then be new parents had completely slipped his mind. So, the original plan switched from riding up together to me driving the car with our new bundle of joy while they rode the motorcycles so that motorcycle riding would still be a fun option for the excursion. A win, win situation for all of us.

It's strange to think this time next year we will be preparing to celebrate our first Christmas with Avery. Who would have thought we would ever have that experience together? I was most certain that big landmark firsts were a thing of the past. This just goes to show that one really does never know what lies around tomorrow's corner. Life is full of wonderful experiences and opportunities when one is a willing participant in the plans of God.

Good News Today

Today was the day. We had to be in for her ultrasound at 10:30 this morning. The purpose? Determine whether or not the placenta has moved out of the way of the birth canal. The previous ultrasound showed that the placenta was blocking the cervix putting both our daughter and the baby in grave danger. Praise God! The placenta has moved off to the side, so there is no more danger to either of them, and we can plan for a natural birth.

The next doctor's visit will be next Tuesday. At this visit we will discuss a birth plan. This is something that is going to require some thought, prayer, and sensitivity. It is our daughter's desire for us to take Avery immediately upon birth. Up until this point we really haven't given the birth plan too much thought or conversation, because we did not know what her delivery might entail. Of course it would be a completely different situation had we needed to go the way of a planned C-Section. Now, it looks as though things will progress normally, so we need to determine what that means for us as a family.

This is such a unique opportunity and something we never could have foreseen. There is so much to do and such little time to do it. I have been painstakingly considerate of our daughter's feelings. This means that I have not done a whole lot of preparing for the baby. She asked to not be a part of the shopping, planning, or any other aspect of the preparations. Due to the fact that she will be living in our home for another six weeks or so, I have been trying to wait to do too much in the baby department. I have purchased some clothing and things for the baby's bedroom walls, but that's about the extent of things. It's just weird to me. Anyone that knows me would see how this is just so against my nature. I am a perfectionist planner type.

I have found myself sick with a cold for the past week, and that has really slowed me down. So, last weekend I made a list of everything we will need for Avery. Wow! Who remembered that babies required so many things. Even if one takes a conservative approach to the whole development, the list is still long. It seems January will find me consumed in everything baby.

He Has a Name, and Other News

I have discovered a few things since my last post. My first consultation with our lawyer was just over a week ago. It sounds like the process should be pretty simple. Fortunately, family adoptions are very relaxed in our county. It will run about $2000 for the legal services. We have some basic documentation to gather; birth certificates and the like. There will be paperwork to fill out. We will go before the judge as a family in a very informal setting; not the court house. The most anxiety provoking part will be the home visits from Department of Human Services. Although, I have been assured that they are very nice, ever as intrusive as they may be, by a very reliable source.

There have also been some developments with the pregnancy. The baby is for sure a boy. After some research and some encouragement to name the baby from our lawyer, we have decided on Avery Thomas. Avery means counselor, wise, sage, and Thomas is in honor of the first born son that my husband's parents lost while he was still a baby. This carries on my personal tradition of connecting the children to the family through their middle names.

That's the fun part. The other developments aren't as fun. A big concern is that her placenta is covering the cervix. This is very dangerous. There is a risk of hemorrhage that could cost either or both of their lives. Another ultrasound will be performed next week to see if the placenta has moved. If it has not, we will meet with a specialist to set a date for c-section. The reason for the precaution is so that she experience no labor. Just one contraction puts their lives at risk. The goal would be to deliver the baby before labor has a chance to start. An ultrasound would be performed right before going into surgery. If the placenta has moved even at that point the c-section would be canceled, and the pregnancy would be allowed to progress naturally to and through labor and delivery.

Also, she has RH-. If you are not familiar with this pregnancy twist, being RH- means that your blood cannot mix with the baby's blood until they find out the baby's blood type. If the baby is also negative, then there is nothing to worry about. However, if the baby has positive blood, and the mother's blood mixes with the baby's blood the mother will begin to form antibodies making her womb inhospitable to future babies. A shot is given at integral points throughout the pregnancy and again after delivery if necessary. There is no risk to mom or the baby. The steps are taken to protect future babies.

We are learning a lot with this pregnancy. Oh! Harmony, the oldest grand, and myself both felt the Avery move for the first time last week. It was SO exciting! I totally forgot how equally cool and weird that is. Harmony is really coming to understand the whole situation. She told my girlfriend the other day, "Auntie is having a baby for us!" She also signed up to be the babysitter. Happily, she doesn't even care that he's a boy, and not a girl!

I have purchased some things in anticipation of the wee one, but I have to say that I've not bought that much. Pat of it is that I really don't have anywhere to put it yet. Once our daughter moves out we will be able to better prepare the home for Avery's arrival. I am really trying to honor her wishes and respect her presence. Part of that is keeping the baby hoopla at a dull roar. She asked to not be included in the preparation process. I am doing my best to respect her wishes. I do have to say that I didn't realize how much went into preparing for a baby until I searched online for a checklist. Holy cow! Babies need a lot of stuff even when you are being conservative. Maybe we'll get lucky and have a baby shower. Who knows? I do know that we will not go without. So many people have offered to give us things that we will need. God always provides, so I know I can just relax and let things take their course. It truly is a beautiful process.