On Buying and Selling a Home

As many of you know we recently sold our city home and moved to the country.  I learned a few things in the process.  There is nothing more rewarding than someone else learning from your experience, so I thought I'd share our experience with you.

Things to consider:

1.  Find a real estate agent via referral.  Speak with friends and family to see if anyone knows a good agent that they would recommend.  Find an agent that specializes in your unique circumstances.  Make sure they are familiar with the market in which you are shopping, and be sure they are experienced in anything that is unique to you.  Having a specialist in your area of need is to your best benefit.


2.  Seek the advice of at least three brokers.  Purchasing a home in today's market is nothing like it used to be even five years ago.  Forget everything you think you know, and speak with at least three different brokers about your unique circumstances.  Your real estate agent can, and should, supply you with names and numbers of brokers they are personally experienced with.  Be sure to take good notes!

3.  Decide on a broker.  After you've interviewed the brokers, decide on one to work with personally, and notify your agent.  Be prepared to make purchasing a home and working directly with your broker a part-time job.  You will be faxing, emailing, and talking on the phone much more than you probably realize, especially if you are doing anything like purchasing a foreclosed home or selling on a short-sale.

4.  Keep excellent records.  Set up an area in your home, I used the kitchen counter, where you can keep all your paperwork.  I ended up with several file folders and envelopes loaded with paperwork relevant to the sale of our old home and the purchase of our new home.  You want everything available at your fingertips. With as much work as this entails, you don't want to waste time looking for things when you need them and redoing something because you've misplaced paperwork.

5.  Pay attention to details and deadlines.  There will be many of them in regard to both the sale of your old home and the purchase of your new one.  Missing one deadline, or overlooking one detail, can slow down or even stop the process.  Stay on top of things, and the process will run much more smoothly.

6.  Mind your manners.  Your agent and broker and their staff will be working their tails off for you.  Their jobs are demanding and stressful.  The process can get frustrating for everyone.  Be polite, and thank them often.

7.  Be honest!  This covers all areas of the process.  The bank will know more details about you than you ever thought possible by the time this process is complete, so you might as well just get comfortable laying it all out.  Also, when showing your home, be honest with the prospective purchasers when they ask questions.  Be especially honest to the person that actually purchases your home.  If you know things that will make their life easier in their new home, your old home, share with them.  There were many things I shared with the gentleman that purchased our old house.  I held nothing back.  He fully knew what he was purchasing.  I cannot say the same for the people that sold us our new home.  Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE our new house, I just wish the old owner had been more honest and forthcoming.

8.  Hire an inspector, or two!  Again, this is something you want a referral on.  Even a well referred inspector isn't going to catch everything.  Having an inspector can give you peace of mind in that odds are much in your favor that they will catch anything that would be a big red flag in regard to whether or not you should actually purchase the home.  However, be prepared to still find unexpected things after you've moved into your new home.  No home is perfect. They all have their issues.  Remember that place you just moved out of ?

9.  Be nice!  If you leave behind any appliances make sure they actually work, or be sure to tell the new owners that they do not.  The lady that we purchased out new home from left her washer and dryer.  We thought it was very sweet of her since we were converting from gas to propane and would not have the ability to have our dryer hooked up right away.  With a baby in cloth diapers I thought this was such a blessing until my husband ran the washer to have it fill up with water and not drain.  We spent $40 on a pump to drain the washer, had the inconvenience of extra work right in the middle of moving, plus we had the inconvenience of disposing of two large appliances that did not work.  Not nice!  Also, leave behind things that may be helpful to the new owners like extra tiles, bit of hardware, and manuals relevant to the home.  This is a genuinely thoughtful act that will be much appreciated.

10.  Be clean!  Once you've moved everything out of your old home, go back and clean.  If you do not have the time or energy, hire someone.  There is nothing more frustrating than moving into a new home that is filthy. Moving is hard work in and of itself without having to deep clean a house from top to bottom.  Trust me, the new owners will be very appreciative, and you will feel wonderful not having left a huge mess for someone to clean up.

11.  Ask questions, and a lot of them.  The more questions you ask, the more you will feel comfortable about every part of the process.  Never hesitate to ask anything you would like to know of anyone in the process; real estate agent, broker, seller's agent, old home owner, absolutely everyone!  Especially ask the previous owner of the home you are purchasing TONS of questions, especially if there are big differences in the type of home or area compared to where you are moving from.  BUT, be aware that not everyone is honest, so if it's something that is a big issue and could be a deal breaker verify the accuracy of the information they provided to you.

In summary, you are the best person to look out for you.  Buying and selling a home is likely the largest single transaction you will do in your lifetime.  It pays to pay attention to detail.  You are your best advocate.  Cover your back as much as possible.  Do your research, and play nice.

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Let Go, Let God

Cliche?  Over used?  No meaning?  Well, let me tell you that this has bigger meaning to me now than it ever has any other time in my life.  It's rather impressive how God can use any and all circumstances to teach us a thing or two.  It doesn't really have to be a tragedy or something dramatic.  God is working in our lives all the time, but do we take the time to notice?  I'm not so sure how much I really noticed before we decided to try to sell our family home in order to relocate to the country.

Moving is a big decision.  It is even bigger a decision the more dramatic the move.  Granted, there are plenty of moves that are more life changing than ours, but it is a major lifestyle change no matter how you slice it.  When we first made the decision to list our home for sale we really didn't think it could be accomplished.  Sell our home in this market?  We were upside down in our mortgage.  How would we ever be able to get out of this with our excellent credit rating and no lingering debt?  With God ALL things are possible.  (Matt. 19:26)

Our first blessing was the referral we received from the law firm that handled our adoption earlier in the year.  My husband was on his feet enough to have thought to ask if they knew anyone that would be good to work with in our situation.  The lawyer referred us to Ben Lang, and so began our journey.  We met with Ben, filled out the paperwork, and waited.  Nothing really happened, so we continued to pray and lowered the price.  Honestly, we were pretty laid back about the whole thing.  Having no real expectations does make waiting much easier.  Patience coupled with faith is an excellent remedy to such situations.

After some time a few offers came in that were so low there was no way we could accept them in the traditional manner, so we decided to pursue a short sale.  It was after all Ben's specialty.  The paperwork involved is very detailed and time consuming.  I was certain there was no way we could qualify not being able to show any sort of financial hardship.  However, we were able to use our quality of life as the basis and move forward with the request.  We explored a couple of other options, but nothing panned out.  The only thing we could remotely attempt would be a short sale.

This process began in April.  I was in no hurry to make anything happen as I wanted to be sure we were being led in our decisions as opposed to forcing something to happen.  It was very important to me that any decisions we made were in accordance with God's will for our family.  That being said, I dragged my feet on every part of the process pushing deadlines and doing everything last minute, sometimes literally.  By some miracle the process just kept moving forward; at a snails pace but forward nonetheless.

God used this time to great advantage.  My husband and I learned some valuable lessons through the experience due mostly to the timing of events.  Had things happened quickly like we usually desire there is no way God could have taught us patience, faith, reliance, guidance, and how to look to Him and His Word for all things.  Even with all the traumatic things I have experienced in my life there is no other time where I felt closer to God.  I literally felt led by the hand.

Our qualifying for the short sale is only the beginning of our list of blessings.  The bank accepted the offer made by a local business man and investor.  We continued to jump through hoops as required by the bank and the government.  By December of 2010 we had sold our family home with no remaining mortgage debt, no promissory note, no real damage to our credit, and the ability to rent our home for as long as we needed until we found a new one at the tune of $500 less per month than we were paying for our mortgage.  The weirdest part of it all was giving a security deposit to a landlord for the home we had remodeled and continuously improved for the past 15+ years.

On the advice of several financial experts we waited three months, ran our credit, and started the procedure of pre-qualifying for a mortgage.  Ben referred us to a great broker, and we got the ball rolling.  Certain aspects of the process leave on feeling a little uncertain as to the outcome.  See, our sole purpose in selling our home was to purchase a new one out of the city and in the country.  Should any part of this process worked out any differently that would have been impossible.  Beginning the mortgage aspect was a little nerve wracking.  Were they going to turn us down due to the short sale?  We had excellent credit, but we needed to prove ourselves to them in a big way.  Could we muster up?  The process of gaining the mortgage and being able to purchase the house was just as involved, intrusive and time consuming as the short sale process, if not more so.  The deadlines are more real in the mortgage process to be sure.

We began actively looking for a home in April.  Our original intention and desire was to stay within Macomb County.  I am a big fan of the library system as well as Macomb County Community College; not to mention we own a business there, and our next to youngest son is finishing his senior year in Fraser at Arts Academy in the Woods.  In my mind these are all great reasons to stay in the county, but God had other plans.  It wasn't too long into the process that we realized finding a home with the amenities we desired and in the price range we wanted was going to be challenging.  There just didn't seem to be much out there, which seemed so contrary to the current statistics supporting a buyer's market.  One thing led to another, and we began to start looking in St. Clair County.  Poor Ben!  That guy was driving all over creation with us.  We ended up being referred to Tanya Nettnay through our brother-in-law.  She specializes in St. Clair County properties, and grew up a country girl.  What more could we ask for?  Due to our love for Ben, and his dedication to us as his clients, we arranged a formal referral.  It was time to move on to uncharted territory.

I grew up in St. Clair County, but I lived in the city.  My husband grew up in Macomb County and had no clue about anything out that way.  Who knew God's direction would lead us to a location better than we could imagine?  Honestly, I really didn't even think the house anything too special after we looked at it.  One thing that did strike me, though, was the happiness of the previous owner.  She and her husband raised six children in this home, and their story is so similar to ours that it was uncanny.  The similarities did get my attention.  We looked at the home a second and third time and could find no other homes on the market that even came close to meeting our needs.  In prayerful consideration we made an offer.  There was a counter, and we accepted.  One would think the story ends here, but bureaucracy is never simple.  It was time to jump through more hoops and appease more red tape.

We gathered more information, submitted more paperwork and documentation, hired inspectors, and met the demands of FHA.  Not a simple process.  From acceptance of offer to signing of papers we passed through nearly three months.  We even cancelled our vacation to make ourselves available for the process.  See, the thing about this process being so lengthy and never really knowing if it would all work out until we actually signed the papers was a huge opportunity for us to learn and grow.  This transition is not about us at all.  Rather, it is about God and how we can work to glorify Him.  It has been my constant prayer that He place us exactly where it is he needs us, and I believe with my whole heart that we are where He wants us to be.  I do not claim to know His plans, but I have faith and confidence that I did not put myself here.  God led, opened the doors and the windows, and bid us to come through.  We did just that all the while checking to be  certain that each step was guided and not self-directed.

It is truly amazing the things that can happen if we only stay out of the way.  Is my new home perfect in every way?  No.  Does my new home have all the attributes listed to meet my desires?  No.  Would I have it any other way?  Absolutely not!  I am happy that we "Let Go, and Let God".  I cannot imagine the blessings we would miss, known and unknown, had we not allowed ourselves to be led.

As faith would have it we are now close to family members that we've always lived far from, close to some that moved away, and in a much better position to share our blessings with whomever God sees fit.  Our hearts are open, and it is difficult to imagine things any other way.  Also, the investor that purchased our old home was able to sell it immediately after we moved out.  We prayed in earnest for the new owners that the home would be a blessing to them.  Working with the investor was a privilege and another opportunity to shine for Christ.  He does indeed use all circumstances to His glory.  (Romans 8:28)

Lord willing, we'll never have to do it again!  

Our new home before we started moving in.

R.I.P.

GYPSY 

11-15-1997 to 8-25-2011

Sometimes animals touch us in a way no human being ever could. Almost 14 years ago my hubby gave me the greatest gift in the world. We had been together just under a year, and it was my first birthday we'd celebrate as a couple.  He loaded my two children and myself into the car, and we drove to the Macomb County Animal Shelter.  I was set to find a German Shepherd, my favorite breed of dog, and it was to be my first birthday gift from the man I would later marry.

When we pulled into the animal shelter I was so excited to be getting a puppy.  I really had no idea how special an experience it would end up being.  The kids and I looked at all the puppies.  There were no shepherds to be found, but there was a litter of beautiful, velvety, little Lab-Husky pups.  We got them all out and played with them for a time.  Then, it became evident that there was something special to us about one of them.  That one little puppy was Gypsy, and she came home with us that day forever changing the dynamics of our family.

Gypsy has always been a great dog.  We never did master the art of walking her, though.  That dog could pull your arm off if you let her.  She was happiest running along side the bicycle with Pat, or going for a run with Andrew.  Most of all she loved to run free through the snow, flipping it up with her nose.  There were camping trips when she escaped from the pop-up with the kids chasing her down through the campground.  Never a dull moment.  :)  She loved to run along side the mini-bikes, and actually out run them sometimes, when the kids would spend the day riding up at the grandparents' farm.  Then, there were the rides home with the windows down because Gypsy had rolled in something ever so irresistible to her and repulsive to us.  Oh, and who can forget the small log she used to carry around in her mouth.  I still remember laughing hysterically at her flinging around an empty two-liter bottle in the back yard and chasing it playing for hours.  She even chewed a rather large hole in the telephone pole.  What a dog!  Those were the days...

Her favorite human foods were chocolate, pizza crust, and buttered popcorn.  Lord knows she loved to eat.  With age came a slower pace, smaller appetite, and a more subdued existence.  My once traveling companion now found it difficult to get in and out of the car.  No more car rides.  No more jumping up every time she heard the keys jingle.  No more spelling the word W-A-L-K, and later just saying " a W", so she wouldn't get excited and want to go with us if it wasn't convenient.  Gone were the days of throwing her popcorn, pizza crust, or treats and having her catch them.  Her eyesight began to fail, and it was just too hard to see the snacks to catch them accurately. The trips up the stairs to go to bed became more difficult as her body became ravaged with cancer, unbeknownst to us.  We just thought she was getting old.  Then it was the hearing.  We had to speak louder for her to hear, and it would take a bit for her to notice we were calling out to her.

Oh, Gypsy, we will miss you greatly.  You are loved beyond words, and it is so difficult to imagine our family without you in it.  I thank God for animals and the companionship they give us.  I thank God for you, and I pray you rest in peace.

Internal Turmoil

As I've grown older and more experienced there is one factor in life that I easily recognize as a great contributor to stress, anxiety, and internal turmoil.  It causes one to question natural instincts, beliefs, decisions and even relationships.  What could be so powerful an influence in life?  Why, guilt of course!  The area I notice the effects of guilt on my life the most is church attendance.  You wouldn't believe the guilt trip I lay on myself when I make the agonizing decision to stay home as opposed to attend church on any given Sabbath.

Honestly, I am not really sure the source of the guilt.  What string of events have been tied together to lead me to this seemingly uncontrollable reaction to the simple choice to stay home on Sabbath rather than attend church service at my home church?  Over the years I have experienced seasons in my life where there seemed more gained physically, spiritually, and emotionally by spending a relaxing Sabbath at home reading, watching sermons on television or the computer, spending time with family, or even out in my garden.  Not to mention the occasional events that take you out of town or just conflict with the timing of church service.  It has been my experience that going with these seasons and/or moments is highly beneficial to myself as well as those around me that I love and care about, but I don't ever fully gain the benefit due to the underlying existence of that dreaded emotion, guilt.

Our latest challenge to church attendance has been the addition to new life in our family and the state of extreme exhaustion that follows as well as the change in daily life that is inevitable with a new family member.  I have learned so much having a new little one, and it seems my newest lesson is to learn how to work through guilt and not let it have power in my life.  What a challenge!

Guilt saps joy even in joyful circumstances.  It's like it has a grip strongly wrapped around your innermost being.  How uncomfortable is that?  Through prayer and concerted effort, along with a conscious decision to learn how to eliminate self-inflicted guilt from my life, I praise God that I am learning how to loose myself from guilt's talons.  It is quite possibly the most challenging thing I've tried to do, especially when it comes to the simple choice of staying home from church.  Part of the reason it is so important to me to learn how to be comfortable with who I am and the decisions I make, aside from the fact that guilt is a powerful, negative emotion, is that the underlying motivation of guilt is our innate concern as to what others think of us or our actions.  Isn't that what guilt really is; worrying about what others think of us?  Seems so to me.

So, why is it that I am so concerned about other's judgement when it comes to my attendance of church.  Shouldn't it matter most to me the state of my relationship with Christ?  Shouldn't my walk with God, my prayer life, and my commitment to serving God to the best of my ability be at the forefront?  The bible does say to not forsake our own gathering together (Hebrews 10:25).  Does this strictly refer to church attendance?  Is there more than one way to gather together?  What about family bible study, group study, meetings with friends, email discussion, or phone conversations?  If we are continually striving toward a closer relationship with God and taking the time to connect with others, does that fit the bill? 

It seems to me that the passage in Hebrews is more of a warning.  Holing oneself up, and never communicating with others, is a dangerous place to put ourselves.  Without the fellowship of others how would we truly learn and grow as individuals, let alone Christians?  As humans, interaction with other is key to our health, both emotional and physical.  We need each other.  How else would we learn empathy and service?  How would we be challenged?  Who would lift us up in our darkest times?  I would go so far as to venture to say that our relationships with each other are just as important as our relationship with Christ, as it is by our interactions with each other that we represent and experience the love of Christ in our daily lives. 

I am going to continue to strive toward a guilt free relationship with church.  It will not be easy, as it seems deep rooted, but I want my heart to pull me there through a longing to learn and share not a condemnation of doing something wrong if I'm not there.  To everything there is a season, and time to every purpose under Heaven...(Ecclesasties 3:1-8)