Monday, September 29, 2008

Baby A and Baby B!

Yes, that's right! You heard it here first. Tammi's having twins! So, for those of you that can't keep up, that means come March I will be a 38-year-old, homeschooling mom of seven that has SIX grandbabies!

We are in Michigan, and Tammi is six hours away in Indiana. So, this will be very interesting learning how to keep in touch. I'll really have to do a better job of keeping contact. I am sorely lacking in that department already with "Baby" Rocco who will be three by the time his twin siblings are born. They think it's a boy and a girl, by the way. It just gets so tricky with already having SO MANY responsibilities. Maintaining relationships with grands is extra challenging when you are still home educating. Just how many hats can one woman wear, anyway?

So, do any of you have stories about twins having twins? Yes, Tammi is one of our twins. I've tried to look Online for information, but it's not coming easily. Not to mention, my time is very limited...especially for the next month or two. The boys and I are volunteering at a seminar our church is hosting. It will be a lot of fun, but it is a big time commitment on our part. In the meantime, I look forward to hearing your stories.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Happy Anniversary... me! Pat and I are heading out on the motorcycle tonight for a weekend of riding along Lake Huron; Michigan's east coast. We rented this cute little cottage right on the beach. I am really looking forward to a slow-paced weekend with no agenda. There are a few fun things going on around the area, and the scenery is absolutely beautiful.

I'll be sure to report back with pictures...

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

It's Amazing

It's amazing to me how we are designed to progress throughout life continuously adapting to our situation. I am finding true that certain things just change with age and time. My youngest child is 14.5 years old, and I now find myself working on five grandchildren. With the early introduction of grandkids to our lives, it is forcing me to adapt to a new phase before my time.

Being a wife, mom, and Nana, along with the other hats I wear, is overwhelming at times. How do I effectively contribute to every aspect of my life? How do I meet the needs of everyone that depends on me and still take proper care of myself? I need feeding too, you know? What about my walk with God? What about my health? What about my interests? What about the care and keeping of me? How does one construct a healthy balance in one's life?

This dilemma seems to be the plight of women everywhere. I know my husband's job is demanding and stressful at times. I know he gets discouraged, angry, fearful, exhausted. But, somehow, I cannot help but look at him on occasion and think I wish that was all I had to deal with. I wish my life was that simple. I wish I could just go to work and come home. I wish I had a wife...figuratively speaking, of course! I know that the grass merely appears greener, but what a picture it sometimes paints.

With my youngest three headed for 19, 17, and 15 years of age, I find myself looking to the future with a renewed sense of anticipation. Although, sometimes it can be a twinge of fear that gets me. What will I do when it's just my man and me? How can I possibly spend "forever" with this man and no one else around? Then I quickly focus on the "no one else" part. How cool is that? This mom loves her children, but she looks longingly to the day when she is in total control of her time. There will be no educational planning, no organized teaching of children, no one to entertain, no one else's needs to be met. I will be free to command my time.

Oh, sure, the husband will still have his talons in my minutes, but he is but one person. There will be sleepovers with grands, gift making, volunteering at church and homeless shelters, mentoring, and whatever I choose to fill my time with. The ironic thing is that I am looking forward to serving others. I guess I just desire the freedom to be myself and choose where to put my efforts.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

What Are You Plugged In To?

Today started with an object lesson for me. As I previously mentioned, I had a virus on my computer. Well, I am not finished suffering the consequences of having my computer inflicted. One of the things that didn't work when I got the computer back from my beloved computer guy was the sound.

When I first checked it out there were no devices installed, so it was impossible to get sound. I reinstalled the device very easily, and it looked like everything was working fine. I told my computer geek son that it was all set. Well, he soon let me know that indeed the sound was still not working. Feeling a little frustration and a small sense of urgency I added it to my list of things to take care of.

Looking at the sound was on my mind when I got on the computer this morning. So, I did a few things, then I went into the sound part of my computer and started poking around. All of a sudden it dawned on me that I wasn't totally sure of the location I selected to plug in the speakers to the computer when I had hooked everything back up. The colors are a little off, and it is near impossible for me to see the little pictures etched next to the receptacles without a flashlight; which I did not have when I set everything back up.

Taking the prompt that was put in my mind, I turned on my Pandora Radio. Then, I got under the desk and started moving the plug from one receptacle to another. Sure enough, when I had the plug in the proper spot, out came the sound.

This became an object lesson for me real quick like. It is SO VERY important to know what we are plugging ourselves into. It is equally important, if not more so, to be plugged in to the proper receptacle in order to get positive results in our lives.

Are you plugged in to healthy and fruitful resources and activities? Where do you choose to invest your resources? Are you using your talents and skills to reflect a positive light? Do you take the time to really think before you act? Have you done the necessary research before making your decision? Did you really see the receptacle you were plugging into, or did you just jab in the dark? What result did you get?

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Waxed and Wounded

I have been experiencing vertigo for about a month and a half now. It's exhausting to say the least. It happened to me again yesterday evening on my way to the chiropractor while I was driving. Can you say, "bad trip"? It was the most horrible experience ever. I sure hope this gets under control soon. I actually had to have my husband come and pick me up, because there was no way I could drive myself home. It's amazing that I made it there to begin with. I cannot believe how much it sapped out of me. That is the part of me that is "waxed".

Now, to the "wounded" part. Maybe some of you can enlighten me on spousal communication. I have been feeling under attack from my husband for way too long now. It has to have been months. It is really taking a tole on me and totally messing with my head. Remember? I am already "waxed"! Now, I have to deal with this on top of it. The horrible part is that he shows no sign of easing up, and he doesn't get it at all.

Every time I turn around I'm just going about my business, and the next thing I know he's lashing out at me. I feel sucker punched on a daily basis. For example, we were leaving for church this morning. The prearranged plan was for our daughter to drive the boys, and hubby would take me to the chiropractor before we headed there ourselves. Our daughter needed to make it to an appointment after church, so we would be bringing the boys home with us. This means that we needed to drive a vehicle that had enough seats. That would be the Camaro, not the work van which only seats two, including the driver.

When we went to leave, he headed for the van. In a completely normal, everyday voice I asked, "I thought we were taking the Camaro." He turned around and started yelling at me. I was totally shocked. Well, maybe not totally, because I am, unfortunately, getting used to this kind of treatment. He had an ulterior motive for wanting to drive the van and had totally dismissed our earlier conversation without saying anything to me about it.

So, in an attempt to dissuade his anger, I offered a solution that allowed us to drive the van and gave the boys are ride home from church. Everyone should have been happy, right? Well, I guess that's in another world, because it wasn't in mine. After we got in the van he went on the attack again. He proceeded to tell me how we need to quit nit-picking each other and quit being so critical. I was totally confused and VERY frustrated.

See? I've had about my fill of all I can take of this. Honestly, no exaggeration, this is a daily occurrence. At least once per day he gets angry with me for something I say, tells me how I'm letting him down, and criticizes me over something. I'd had it. So, I told him just that in so many words, and I also let him know that I didn't deserve to be treated like that. I also asked him what I did, and I swear this was his response. He said that I should have said, "I didn't know we were taking the van." Can anyone enlighten me as to how this is any different or better than was I actually said? Please! He could not tell me when I asked.

We've not discussed this further. It's how we started our day, and it's where it stayed. Nothing resolved. I cannot keep up like this, but I do not know what to do to change it.

My prayer today was that I would never again raise my voice to my husband, no matter what. I know that I will fail at this initially, but I do think it is a viable goal with some practice and dedication. I am currently doing the study, Power of a Praying Wife, with a good friend. I really pray it helps. I don't know how to deal with this. It is VERY exhausting!

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

More Purging

I have been making up for lost time. Monday and Tuesday I was not feeling 100% health wise, so I didn't get much of anything done. I've been experiencing vertigo on a semi-regular basis for a little over a month now. I am finding out that it can be very taxing on me energy wise. Thankfully, I am feeling better today.

I spent a lot of time clearing out the storage area under the stairs that I plan to turn into my own personal sanctuary. I am almost there. It is looking more and more like I will be able to start transforming it into a place of relaxation and reflection. I have been gathering items like fabric, shelves, candles, artwork, and the like with my ideal space in mind. It is REALLY exciting.

Tomorrow the boys and I will be spending the day out shopping for clothing. They both need pants and shirts, and I think they need shoes. It will be a fun day. I am also thinking about stopping by the cemetery. Today is my dad's birthday. We may also stop by my dad's favorite restaurant, Mt. Clemens Coney Island, in his honor. I know it's by no means gourmet or healthy or vegan, but it was his favorite.

I am thankful that the boys are into resale shopping. This will give me a chance to save some money, be frugal, and look through the housewares. I don't need any clothing, so it's all about the prayer closet.


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