Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Artificial Time Lines

For those of you that regularly stop by here you know that I have been struggling with exhaustion and being overwhelmed with my personal demands on my time. I have been actively trying to face this challenge and not succumb to the resulting depression. That seems to be a normal course of events in this situation. I have made several changes over the past few months, and they all seem to working for my overall good.

One thing that I am currently reevaluating is my perception of the way things should be done. In so doing I have been forced to think about the demands on my time and why they are there. What I have come to realize is that there are real deadlines and artificial time lines in all of our lives. We fall victim to social standards without really realizing it if we don't pay attention and make a conscious decision to be a free thinking individual.

As a homeschooling mom the most obvious one for me is educational time lines. Who says we have to start school at three, or five, or six, and why not ten? What about graduation? Why do we need to graduate at 18? Why not 14, or 16, or even 22? Since when do we all fit into the same mold? How on earth could our time lines all be the same? What would life be like if we were free to do EVERYTHING at our own pace? I think it would be pretty cool.

In this line of thinking I discovered that one of the things on my agenda, or artificial time line, that was bogging me down was the deadline I inflicted upon myself to have our chosen subjects of exploration completed by May 31st. Who says? Why? To what end? Why on earth does it matter if we complete the Ancient History curriculum that we chose to explore this year by May 31st? If it's not working for us right now, it's not working. Since we learn everyday what harm is there in taking a break when it is needed? My conclusion is ABSOLUTELY NONE!

We are not sitting around like lumps. We are not losing knowledge by putting off a self-inflicted schedule. On the contrary we are learning other things. My 15 year old is currently making a map collage of territory maps of times past. It's rather interesting and amazes me how he can just look at them and know exactly what empire it is strictly by viewing a blank map. My 17 year old is engrossed in writing. He has been writing stories a lot online at a website that others view your work and tell you what they think. Some criticism is useful, and some not so much, but he does enjoy it a lot. Think about the learning and creativity going on here. It's amazing and inspiring.

If my boys are self-aware enough to occupy their time with what fits in the moment, why on earth am I so unable to do so myself? Why do I struggle with doing what feels right for the moment? Why am I inclined to fight my instincts over and over again? When will I ever learn that there are some deadlines that are important like paying the bills on time, and then there are others that are not so important. Life is full of choices, and what we are inclined to think is right is not always the case. Sometimes a reevaluation is in order. When is the last time you took a moment to take a close look at what you are doing with your time? Are you focusing on what is important, or are you paying more attention to something due to an self-imposed deadline. Take a close look. You may be surprised as to what you find.

Monday, March 30, 2009

The Weight of a Burden

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can cary on with the burden."

"Before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can." ~ Author Unknown

Life is full of little burdens and big burdens that can carry much more weight than a glass of water. Think of the physical stress you body endures due to the emotional stress you carry. Take a moment, breath deeply, and allow yourself to relax. Release your burdens, and don't pick them up again until you have taken some time to rejuvenate and refresh. Nurture your mind, body and you soul so that you can enjoy every moment of life bestowed upon you.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

EnJOY the Sabbath!

I pray God is blessing you with JOY in your heart
on His special treat of the Sabbath!

Friday, March 27, 2009

I Can't Believe it's Friday!

Where on earth does the time go? Normally, I am not on the computer right now, but I had something that needed to be tended to immediately, so here I am. When I checked my email there was a message from Karen at My Funny Dad, Harry thanking me for my advertisement purchase. In it she said, "Happy Friday!" Who knew it was Friday? I couldn't believe another week had zoomed by already.

Do you remember being a child and time just seeming to stand still? I sure do. It seemed like time would go on forever. Summers lasted much longer as did the days in general. Now, as an adult I find the time slipping by more and more quickly with each tick of the second hand. There's just something about being an adult and the responsibility that comes with it that our time gets used up much more quickly. We really don't seem to live in the moment so much as adults. There really is something lost there.

There was a time when I actually used to get pleasure out of crossing the day off the calendar. It gave me a sense of accomplishment and relief. My responsibilities were met for another day. There's nothing left to deal with for now. Can you believe it? I mean, really think about that. Once a day is gone, it is gone forever. There is absolutely no getting it back. In reality there is a level of sadness that goes with each passing day. That time is gone forever.

On the other hand there is a level of joy in knowing we are one day closer to meeting the Creator. However, just how one is spending one's time comes into question. Have I made the most of my time? Did I spend my time wisely? Did I spend time with God? Was I kind to others and myself? Take a moment to think about the way you spend your time. Is there room for improvement? Are you making the most of God's gift of life?

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Keeping My Word

It seems I spend my life learning lessons. I fully accept and acknowledge that as a good thing. In order for God to be able to use us in any capacity He must refine us. It is just part of the process.

I do not know about any of you other parents out there, but I seem to learn a lot of lessons through my children. There are so many parallels that can be made in the process of raising children. For me, God seems to point out His challenges and triumphs with us as I watch my children grow and learn. It is even more evident in my struggles and challenges trying to assist them in that process.

Making mistakes is unavoidable and imperative. It is a very good thing to make a mistake. There is ALWAYS something to be learned through mistakes. We must make mistakes, and many of them, in order to become a well educated, bright, and balanced individual. Our lives will be spent making and learning from our mistakes, and the more conscious we are throughout the process the easier it goes. Have you ever noticed that we repeat things over and over again until we get it? God never gives up on us, and that is completely cool. So, if we pay attention, we may not need to repeat so many lessons. What an awesome thing it is to get it the first time!

All choices have consequences. Good choices generally have good consequences, and less than desirable choices have generally uncomfortable consequences. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, remember? We do reap what we sow whether or not it is obvious at the moment. There is just no getting around it. Absolutely 100% of our actions have consequences. Period.

This has become even more evident to me in my parenting challenges with our youngest son. He is 15 years old. I would not like to be that age again, and I am glad that he is our last to go through this right of passage. We've all been there. It is a tough age, no doubt about it. Not only is it tough to be a 15 year old. It is also challenging to parent a 15 year old. There is so much going on at that age. When we are 15 we are actively building the bridge to adulthood. We think we are grown and know all there is to know. We desire our independence. Yet, we require guidance. It takes a thoughtful and strong parent, and child, to make it through.

Based on my experience as a previous 15 year old, having raised six other children that once were also 15 years old, and my current experience with this particular 15 year old I have learned some things. There is also plenty left to learn. That is, providing that we both make it through alive!

What I am discovering now more than ever is that it is imperative for me to keep my word. It is also imperative that I assist him in keeping his. This is no time to be lax, and it is so out of my comfort zone. Do you ever just hate being the parent? I have a "daughter" mug that my mom got me years ago. Sometimes when I just want to be the "daughter" and nothing else, I make myself a cup of tea in that mug. It sounds silly, but it really is soothing. There is nothing wrong with make believe especially when you are an overworked, under paid, full grown human being. Sometimes we just need an out, and that is a simple passage.

Today, I take a stand. I take a stand for my word. I take a stand as a parent and life guide. Today, I honor my obligation to myself, my son, and my God. I cannot say I am thrilled about it, but there is peace in knowing that I am choosing to do right, and good consequences will follow for myself as well as others. That is something that we sometimes fail to consider. What are the ramifications of my actions for not just myself, but also for others? This is something well worth thinking about. Take a moment to ponder for yourself.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Creative Date Ideas

As I mentioned previously, Pat and I attended a marriage commitment weekend through our church organization this month. There were many things discussed, taught and shared. Over time I plan to share some of the resources and information with you. I think this is a good way to start. Here are some ideas to help you in spending quality time together:

Ideas for Creative Dates

  • Pick up a book of local walks and choose one where you have never been before.
  • Take a day course together and learn to do something new like make stained glass, fix car engines, paint watercolor, make baskets, cook a cultural meal, etc.
  • Go out to eat changing restaurants for each course.
  • Meet in the park with a packed lunch. Pretend you've never met before, and spend time getting to know each other while you feed the ducks.
  • Go to a place where there are street performers, and enjoy the show.
  • Try a new type of restaurant that you never before have explored like Thai, Cantonese, Tuscany, Vegetarian, Polish, etc.
  • Share a spa day together.
  • Visit a card shop. Read the funny cards together. Choose one that you would like to give to the other person, and either share it there or buy them and take them home.
  • Charter a boat for an hour or two. Take a picnic lunch and a book of poetry or a humorous book about marriage.
  • Take a blanket to the top of a hill. Lie on your backs and view the night sky. Bring along a book of constellations so that you can try to locate them. Take a thermos of hot cocoa or soup to share together. You might even see some shooting stars!
  • Learn to ice-skate together, try go-karting, or buy a kite and fly it together.
  • Find a free concert to attend or special evening at the museum.
  • Visit a cathedral together and ask for the children's guide to the building. They often give a lot of unusual facts about the building and interesting details to look for. Stay for evensong for a peaceful and ethereal experience. Enjoy a meal in the cathedral cafe', or a nearby restaurant.
  • Go out for dessert and coffee. Take your time, and enjoy the experience savoring your treat and your conversation with each other.
Ideas for Evenings Indoors
  • Choose a menu together and cook a meal for two at home. Try cooking an Indian meal and serve it wearing an improvised sari, or a Japanese meal, to eat sitting on floor cushions around a low table. Find some music to suit the culture and enjoy the evening. If cooking's too much for you order takout. You could even watch a relevant film or play regional music to add to the mood.
  • Compile a list of videos you'd both like to see together so you know which ones to rent when you have the opportunity. Don't forget the popcorn!
  • Play your favorite childhood board games.
  • Surf the Internet together for ideas for your next outing or holiday.
  • Find or buy some crayons and drawing paper and have a go at drawing each other's portrait.
  • Buy some child's modeling clay and try to sculpt a model of each other's head.
  • Find a piece of old furniture that needs refinishing and remodel it together, or finish an unfinished piece of wood furniture giving it your personal touch. Sign and date your creation.
  • Share five special memories you each have about your relationship and five special hopes or plans for the future.
  • Borrow a book about massage from the library and learn how to give each other a massage with fragrant aromatherapy oils.
  • Find a modern Bible and read the Song of Solomon to each other. You may be surprised at what you find!
  • Make a scrapbook of memorabilia of your fun times together. Jot notes of ideas for more fun times together in a notebook so that you're never short of new ways to have fun.
  • Make something nice to drink like lemonade or hot cocoa, depending on the season, and curl up with old photo albums or family films.
With a little time and thought you can begin to put some of the fun of dating back into your marriage. Try these ideas out for size:

  • Think about the things you did together for fun before you were married.
  • Think about the things that you always wanted to do but never had the time or the opportunity to try.
  • Write a list of 10 places you'd like to go or things you'd like to do on a date together. Swap lists with each other and see what you've each written. Take turns choosing a date idea from you spouse's list. Keep adding new ideas to the list.
  • Do all you can to make the dating occasion enjoyable, even if it is not the sort of thing you'd normally do. Focus on your spouse's enjoyment and find little ways to add delight and surprises to the experience, such as secretly buying him or her a special souvenir that they said they liked, or finding a new place to eat lunch, or meeting them with a bunch of flowers.
  • At the end of each date, make sure you know when and where the next date will be. Looking forward to something is half the fun!
  • Have a list of fun things to do at home too for those times when you don't feel like going out or when you cannot get a babysitter.

Thursday, March 19, 2009


This seems to be a general theme lately, but I really am exhausted. It only seems to be getting worse. I think I have finally just overdone it. My body is screaming at me to take care of it.. It seems that would entail just generally doing much of nothing.

I have been at a loss as to how to tackle this and move forward. After visiting Native Remedies I found myself realizing that I already know what I need to do, and the fact that I am struggling with it is no surprise. How do you increase your physical activity level when you are too pooped to get out of bed? How do you shop for and prepare a nutritious meal when you cannot even think? How do you drive to your body worker if you cannot even get dressed? Unfortunately, this is the all too common dilemma.

Native Remedies
did give me one tool that I do think I will try, and that is some natural remedies that I can take to try to boost my energy without being harch on my system or suffering any ill side effects like you would from OTC medications. I am going to force myself to get out, buy some food, and pick up the following remedies:

Siberian Ginseng - Used for centuries in China and Russia, this plant is prized for its ability to restore vigor, increase longevity, enhance overall health, and stimulate both a healthy appetite and a good memory. In Russia it is widely used to enhance productivity and help the body adapt to stressful conditions. Siberian Ginseng is considered to be an adaptogen meaning that it restores balance within the body by targeting what is out of balance within the individual.

Olea europea (extract of olive leaf) - perfect compliment to the health regimen for the chronic sufferer of exhaustion.

Centella asiatica - Known uses include: wound healing, better circulation, memory enhancement, cancer, vitality, general tonic, respiratory ailments, detoxifying the body, treatment of skin disorders (such as psoriasis and eczema), revitalizing connective tissue, burn and scar treatment, clearing up skin infections, slimming and edema, arthritis, rheumatism, treatment of liver and kidneys, periodontal disease, strengthening of veins (varicose veins), blood purifier, high blood pressure, sedative, anti-stress, anti-anxiety, an aphrodisiac, immune booster, anabolic and adaptogen etc.

Based on the above information I could get a side benefit. As long as I can remember I have suffered from psoriasis. A welcome side effect from using these supplements to improve my physical state could also be an improvement in my psoriasis. What a welcome improvement that would be! Over the years I have learned that my diet and stress level directly effect my psoriasis. So, improving either would have positive effect. Adding the supplements will just be a bonus.

In addition to the above remedies and improving my overall diet and activity level I also plan to make and keep an appointment with a good friend that does body work. I have been putting this off for far too long. I will also be taking some time for myself very soon. It is much needed!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Biopsy Results are Back

Just wanted to update you in regard to my biopsy results. I am officially free of cancer. The tumor is fibrous and definitely NOT cancer. This is what the doctor thought all along, but it is good to be certain about something so potentially life changing. God is good!

As some of you know, we do not have health insurance. The program I participated in that provided the testing for me is through the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. If you are able to participate or support the program in some way, it is a great cause. Funds from the annual event are used to help women such as myself get needed testing. I am thankful to have access to such a wonderful resource.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

My heritage is a little more than Irish, however it is predominantly Irish and the only culture I was raised with. My great grandparents on my father's side came directly from Ireland. My grandfather was a judge, my uncle is a lawyer, and my dad was a cop. Can you get more Irish than that? Too funny!

It seems St. Patrick's Day has become quite a strong tradition within my immediate family. The holiday has become right along the line of Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas with my kids. They truly look forward to it as a time to gather and share a meal. It kind of surprised me.

Last year, I didn't really invite anyone over. I just planned my meal as to just include those of us still living in our family home and invited a couple over that we have grown close with over the years. I honestly thought that the kids would just celebrate on their own if they chose to. Well, I was wrong.

Our second oldest called and wanted to know if we were having dinner. Of course I was, so she came over with our oldest grandchild. Then, two other of the older kids called. They didn't end up coming over, but they were looking for the traditional meal as well.

Needless to say, I just planned the meal to include everyone this year, and it was a big hit. However, it is VERY time consuming and costly. I think we are going to have to rethink how we do it next year. I will have to teach these kids how to make some of the food so I am not tending to everything. It really is a lot of work.

I hope those of you that celebrate have a wonderful St. Patrick's Day. Our celebration was held on Sunday, so we are enjoying the leftovers for lunch today. If you never have studied it out, the history associated with St. Patrick's Day is very interesting and a worthwhile venture.

Friday, March 13, 2009

It's the Sabbath!

This is a long and wonderful post written about one person's journey to discover for himself the true Sabbath. If you have an interest in further exploration, please click here.

Friendship, Health, and Changes

Life seems to throw just as many curve balls as it can at me. It has just always seemed to be that way. I used to think it was normal. It seems to me now that it is just my normal. I used to long for a more laid back life, but I do not believe that is what God has intended for me, at least not right now. Sometimes I wonder just what it is that He is training me to be prepared for. I often feel that it must be big. I have gotten to a point where there really isn't anything that phases me anymore. How could it?

It would seem that, if nothing else, I have learned how to take things in stride. This does not mean, however, that I do not get overwhelmed or worn out at times. Trust me. I do, and I am teetering on the brink right now. Honestly, I am just so stinkin' tired. I feel like I need a vacation; big time!

We always seem to spend our time transitioning from one thing, or two or three, to another. It has gotten to a point that weekends are not even a refuge or place of relaxation. Sabbath just isn't long enough for me to recuperate. I honestly need a couple weeks of doing nothing to heal. That will come, but not soon enough.

My plate is very full, and some of the things going on right now are emotionally draining. We were just coming to terms with the fact that our pastor and his wife, whom we consider friends, will be moving to Lansing to work at the Conference Office when we learned that "Mrs. Pastor" has been diagnosed with leukemia. She is now in Texas receiving the best care in the nation, praise God!

We are also making an effort and commitment to changing things in our relationship in connection with our relationship to each other, God, and our children. This is a big undertaking that we seem to have to fight for. With demands on each of us so taxing and time consuming the undertaking seems impossible. It is not enough to make the commitment. It is not enough to have the desire. It is not enough to talk about and plan for it. We actually have to fight to make it happen. A month's time has now passed since the boys and I committed fully to the keeping of the Sabbath together. Every Sabbath something has interfered on some level with our intention and plans. In the same way, my husband and I came back from the marriage commitment weekend with desires and ambitions for change. Not one has happened. The enemy is strong and works hard to trip us up. We have to be stronger and fight harder to make any progress at all. It is SO challenging.

Another really emotionally taxing thing has been the challenges of raising and relating to my 15 year old. Anyone that has been 15, has a 15 year old, or has had a 15 year old can surely relate. This is such a tough age. So much is happening. We are a child and a young adult all at the same time. We long for independence and guidance both at the same time. Our emotions and hormones are completely out of whack. Life is confusing, challenging, interesting, and frustrating on many levels. It is tough to be 15, and it is tough to peacefully parent a 15 year old.

Then there is the growth rate of our family. I often feel that there is just not enough of me to go around. Our grandchildren are coming at me the same way that our children did, all at once! There is barely time to get to know one, and then there is another, or two, or three. I so want to be a part of the lives of all of our grandchildren. I am uncertain as to how to successfully manage being a Nana and a mom to teens at the same time. If we were not homeschooling this would likely be a little less challenging, but challenging nonetheless.

My health is also a small factor. Yesterday, I went for a biopsy on my right breast. I discovered a tumor there last year. They believe it to be benign, but due to my family and personal history they wanted to play it safe and just make sure there is nothing to be concerned with. It was an interesting and taxing experience. There is now a tiny, titanium, breast cancer ribbon implanted in my breast to mark the tumor letting them know in future exams that that particular tumor has already been biopsied. I also participated in a study that is very interesting. They are doing research on a technique that would take the place of the mammogram. It is awesome, and I hope it is available as an option in the future.

I am also thankful for the friendships that I am forming. I have met some wonderful women over the past few years. The friendships have developed slowly over time, and are now starting to bloom. It is a wonderful gift to have one good friend, and I have had one for over 25 years. She is a sister to me, and I thank God for her frequently. What a special treat it is to make new friends and learn how to be a friend. That can be a challenge for some of us. There are trust issues, time constraints, and other factors.

Life is full of challenges, surprises, and adventurers. What a huge lot this is. Thanks be to God for His presence in my life. I cannot imagine managing any of this without Him. I would surely be lost.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Indian Fry Bread Tacos

My son's favorite food is Indian Frybread Tacos. He has it every year on his birthday without fail, and his friends now request it any chance they get. They really are delicious.

The recipe came to me from my cool, Aunt Lou. When I was a kid she lived in the South West. This is a native food there, and they make them way bigger than we do. They also make their dough fresh. We use frozen bread dough. It makes the perfect size and saves time. Click here for a little Navajo history in relation to the fry bread. Here is a video I found on You Tube on how to make traditional fry bread:

This is how we make them:

1 bag Frozen Roll Dough
32oz. Refried Beans, homemade are best (I'll give the recipe some other time)
16oz. Prepared Taco Meat
1/2 medium head Romain Lettuce, shredded
8 ounces Sharp Cheddar, shredded
2 Tomatoes, diced
1 bunch Green Onions, chopped
Salsa and Sour Cream to garnish

Spray baking sheet with non-stick cooking spray. Arrange frozen dough balls on pan about one and one half inch apart. Stretch plastic wrap over dough balls to cover. Spray with non-stick cooking spray, and flip over onto dough balls. Allow to rise until at least double. It is okay if sides touch.

Fill a large cast iron skillet with about one inch of canola oil. Heat until water droplets sizzle in oil. While oil is heating place a baking sheet lined with paper towel and a cooling rack close to where you are frying the bread.

One at a time flatten dough balls and place into hot oil. Our pan holds three at a time. When edges start to brown use tongs to flip the bread. Cook until lightly brown. Do not let them go too long. They will brown quickly after you flip them.

Move the browned fry bread to the cooling rack to drain. Serve with remaining ingredients, and assemble just as you would a taco. If you have any fry bread left over it is great sprinkled with cinnamon sugar, especially right out of the pan.

I hope you enjoy this special, historical food as much as we do!

A Little More Centered

You remember my intro, right? "My life is full...sometimes too full." Well, I am certain that I was feeling the pressures closing in on me yesterday. I feel a bit better this morning after much prayer and a little rest. I could have used more sleep, but then when would I get everything completed?

I think the youngest son and I have come to a compromise. At least he's willing to meet me half way. I don't know how enthused he is about it, honestly, but a change was needed. I am all for unschooling and freedom. However, with that comes responsibility and respect, believe it or not. That aspect was lacking, and he seemed to be crying out. The way things were before was only stressing him out and he was becoming depressed. Our new plan seems to give what is needed to all involved. We'll see how it works.

As moms we wear many hats, do we not? It is difficult to keep them all balanced under normal circumstances let alone when one hat gets completely off balance. The rest of them begin to teeter, and if we're not careful they all come tumbling down. That is exactly where I was/am at. I say it that way because I have begun to straighten them out, but I do still have more that need attention.

I have another pressing situation that I get to deal with this morning. It is tough in a different way as it has to do with caring for one of my grands. We have struggled with picking up the slack in regard to him and really have to watch to make sure business is getting taken care of where he is concerned. His mom and us have an agreement that has been breached over and over again. The point comes when one has to determine just where and how to draw the line. This is a case where I am being taken advantage of and my time is not being respected. So, we get to talk today when he gets dropped off. More fun stuff.

I just long to purge. I long for my time. I long to not have so many people needing me so much. I long to pursue my dreams. I long to take care of myself. It seems as if those around me will never reach the level of self-sufficiency to totally set me free. My entire life has been dedicated to the care and keeping of others. I am just so tired. It is my hope that this new approach to our time will give us all the guidance and freedom that we so desperately need and desire.

I have such respect for people that live their lives totally and completely in service to others without regard to self. I honestly do not know how they maintain their sanity. I am trying so hard to focus on my relationship with God and not dwell on anything else. However, I am still the one responsible for my life. God can only act through me if I act. We cannot expect Him to be present and active in our lives if we are passive observers. We need to participate. I am trying to learn how to be an active participant in my life that is led by the Lord.

The picture that I chose to mark this post fits perfectly with how I feel. I do feel centered and grounded while at the same time stretched in all directions. Is it possible to function in a healthy manner for a sustained amount of time while feeling in such a state? Is it good? Is it bad? Only time will tell.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Homeschool Frustrations

I am very close to at my wit's end. My youngest son just turned 15 a couple weeks ago. Things have been snowballing over a long period of time. I have tried everything that I know to help him transition through this tough spot. Nothing is working.

The thing that has gotten me to such a level of frustration that I just feel like crying is that he absolutely refuses to talk to me about anything no matter how much I might try, or how I might try. The situation isn't as such that I have been nagging, hollering, and pushing. I have been treating him as an essential cog in the machine. I have shared my concerns, my needs, and my desires. I have asked in several different ways for him to do the same. Everything falls on deaf ears. It's to the point of disrespect.

I feel so helpless. While hubby and I were gone for the weekend I left a completely doable list of academic type things for him. I went over everything to make sure he didn't have any questions, so he knew exactly what I was asking for. He blatantly did nothing; not one single thing. When I asked about it last night he told me he forgot. Bull dookey! We talked on the phone at least three times while we were gone. I know he didn't forget. He didn't even take proper care of the animals. There was one thing that I asked him that was most important to me, so I asked again for him to do it last night. He didn't. So, again this afternoon (it took me two hours to get him out of bed even though I didn't start until 11AM) I asked him again to do it. He did, but only halfheartedly.

Soooooo.....I tried sharing my concerns with him again. I let him know that it was my desire to treat him like a young adult, not a five-year-old. Unfortunately, I feel like he is giving me no choice. Maybe that is what he wants. Maybe he wants me to just tell him what to do and play the role of the enforcer. That is so frustrating to me! I just want to help lead the way, not play babysitter all day long.

From talking to several fellow homeschooling moms I know that this is not uncommon. I know that it is indicitive of the age. However, it does not change our reality and my need to find some kind of happy medium here. I so DO NOT want to be the "commie mom". I hate that role with a passion.

Has anyone else out there been through this? What have you done? Bear in mind that I am not a rigid, schedule laden, kind of homeschool mom. We have been relaxed and child-led for many years. What we were doing this year was per his request. However, he seems to be chucking everything out the window and closing himself off. I know timelines are artificial and all that jazz. I just cannot allow things to continue in this fashion any longer. We are talking months people. It is past painful.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Marriage Commitment Weekend

My husband and I are heading out for a weekend marriage commitment weekend. This is an annual affair held at our church camp in Grayling, Michigan. It is absolutely gorgeous. There is a large lake that has a boardwalk, a chapel in the woods, a fort, an observatory, horses, and many more fun and beautiful things.

Last year was the first weekend we attended, and we both liked it very much. So much so that we decided to go back this year. It is a little emotional, a little romantic, a little challenging, a little peaceful, a little spiritual, and a little healing. All in all it is a very worthwhile venture.

Anyway, since we will be out of town for the weekend, and we are leaving earlier than I planned, I will not have time for posting or Entrecard dropping for a few days. Next week will bring many new adventures as I return home. The boys and I are stepping out in a new direction academically. So, I am sure there will be much to share.

Everyone have a Happy Sabbath, enjoy your weekend, your time with family, and your time with God.

Monday, March 02, 2009

The Twins are Here!

Well, I've been trying to wait until I have more information, but I decided to tell you now, THE TWINS ARE HERE! Tammi gave birth to a baby girl weighing over seven pounds and a baby boy weighing over five pounds this past Friday evening. That's pretty much all I know.

It is so strange being far away like this. I have no idea of exact time, birth order, eye color, exact weight; I do not even know their names! It didn't help that she had not picked names before they were born. Word on the street is that they have names now, but we do not know them.

As soon as we have the details, I will share. We will be going to Indiana next month for a visit, so look for a bunch of pictures then. In the meantime, I will keep you posted as I learn more.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

It's a Tie, Folks!

This month's top dropper is held by two wonderful blogs! The top slot is still held by sound of a soft breath, but only alphabetically. The Way I See It tied for first place. Here are my top ten for February. Be sure to check them out!

sound of a soft breath

"Avoid silence, avoid solitude, avoid any train of thought that leads off the beaten track. Concentrate on money, sex, status, health, and (above all) on your own grievances. Keep the radio on. Live in a crowd. Use plenty of sedation..." Have you given this a try? Now ...

The Way I See It

My thoughts, opinions and personal observations on a wide variety of subjects, sometimes mixed with humor and including travel, retirement, opinion, politics, child sponsorship with Children International and life experiences. News and views from my perspective.

Lola's Diner

At Lola's Diner we'll be sharing recipes and sharing conversation across a virtual lunch counter. Topics will be varied and can include current events, politics, parenting, mental health, and glbt topics.

For Your Health

Common sense approach for better health and safety. Tips and ideas for a healthier and safer you and your family.

Picture to People

Researches about Computer Graphics.
New free software for graphics.
Hot free graphic effects.

Not Your Ordinary History

Our history is every human history; a black and gory business, with more scoundrels than wise men at the lead, and more louts than both put together to cheer and follow. ~Philip Wylie, Generation of Vipers

Anything Goes W/ Pahn

Anything Goes w/ Pahn is a personal website of Pahn to weblog his views, opinion and some story to the world wide web.

Celebrity Body Gossip

Daily updated blog with lots of pictures, news and gossip about celebrity bodies, their diet and fitness secrets, who has lost and who has gained weight in Hollywood, and much more!

Bingo Sites Online for Women

Bingo Blog and Women Community about playing Bingo, chatting, finding friends, watching movies and entertainment.

Symphony of Love

Bringing you Love and Inspiration!

Love Never Fails

This morning I was reading from I Corinthians chapters 13 through 15 in the Message Bible. I have 13:3-7 hanging on my bathroom wall as a reminder, but it bears repeating:

"If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, not matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I am bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut.
Doesn't have a swelled head.
Doesn't force itself on others.
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts in God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end."

I have been struggling with some personal "love" issues, and what stood out to me was, PUTS UP WITH ANYTHING. Really? That was a tough one to swallow for me this morning. Taken literally, that can be rather frightening. Are we really capable of putting up with anything? Am I capable of putting up with anything? Well, I think I already know the answer to that.

Doesn't all really go back to being selfless as opposed to being selfish? We really are self-centered beings, don't you think? As selfish people, naturally, are we capable of at least fighting the flesh and learning to be selfless? Where do we draw the line between being selfless and being a doormat? That is the part that is always most difficult for me. I mean, I do have needs myself. Do they not matter at all?

I think the answer, as always, lies in Christ. If we are completely dependent on Him, then what else do we really need? Of course, there are moral guidelines to follow. Thankfully, elsewhere in the Bible we are taught how to deal effectively with the people in our lives. I have heard it said numerous times; I have even said it myself, "Too bad children don't come with an owner's manual." Well, let me tell you, they do! The Bible is God's guidebook gifted to us. Prayerful study will reap you many rewards and abundant wise counsel. Dig deeply my friends!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...