Friday, October 01, 2010
I thought I had this summer all figured out. My big plans, you ask? Visiting the local farmer's market, loading up on local wares, and putting them up. Sounds easy, right? Well, apparently not. If the last several summers have taught me anything it is to not make plans for my "free time" in the summer. No matter how simple I think my intentions might be they become monumental when the time approaches. Apparently I forgot to read the memo reminding me of just how much work it is having a baby around, especially when they go through the phase of their world revolving around everything mommy. Need I remind you that I am mommy in this scenario, and it's been about 16 years since I've been so doted upon by a little one? Needless to say, I forgot just how much work it really is.
Raising this new little one in my current familial situation puts me in a position to stand in awe of my grandmother. How on earth did farm moms ever do it? Call me crazy, I'd still have rather lived then. Sure it was hard work, but they were home; plain and simple. They were not chauffeurs. They were not caregivers to their grandchildren. Their role was well defined, and they were integral to the family unit. The harder I work to put myself in that position the more impossible it seems at times.
Even though I am donning the new hat of "new mother", I have also managed to shed myself of a few. I no longer sport "homeschooling mom" or "reviewer for TOS Homeschool Crew". The two hats kind of went hand in hand. Though I am saddened to see these doors close, I am excited about the options that lay before me. You wouldn't believe how often I have to slap my own hand from grabbing up more hats to fill their place. Am I crazy? If it's the slow-paced, focused lifestyle of days gone by I am seeking, why on earth do I keep trying to fill up all of my time? I am beginning to think that being overbooked, stressed out, and taken for granted is the plight of the modern mom. I am fighting it kicking and screaming, and I have to kick myself now and again just to stay on track.
Life has handed us a lot lately. We are steadily moving toward selling our home. I really believe this a true gift of God. There are times when this deal should have fell to certain demise, but it just keeps moving forward. As each day goes by it becomes more and more possible that the time will come for us to seek out a small plot of country land to call our own. Oh, what a dream come true that would be.
It is my prayer that country living will remove some of the burden from my husband as well. As some of you likely know, we own a local transmission repair facility, and my husband is a workaholic. He is definitely "old school" when it comes to his work ethic. If he got nothing else from his father he got that. This man pushes himself so much. Well, last week we had a little scare. Despite our lack of health insurance and my husband's machismo, I rushed him to the ER with severe chest pain. Praise God he is okay and did not require a heart catheterization. However, we do believe that he did suffer a mild heart attack. This was a big wake-up call for both of us, and he is now trying to restructure the business taking some burden off of himself. How rejuvenating would it be to have a leisurely drive home each night and pull into a land full of trees and free of traffic noise? We are taking things one step at a time and moving as we feel led. Even though things are not for sure it is difficult to not get at least a little bit excited.
We are also adjusting to not finding ourselves in the ranks of homeschooling families any longer. My last school age son enrolled in a local arts academy about three weeks ago. He loves it, and I am so happy for him. Just two more years, and we will no longer have any kids in high school. Our next oldest is 18 and is in the local community college. He is taking a small handful of classes while he decides if the Navy is right for him. Lately he has been exploring the idea of becoming a pastor. Who knew? We just never know where our children may be led. What fun it is traveling this leg of their life journey with them. After the 16 year old graduates we will have a nice break with no one in grade school. AMEN!
Well, even though I do not have neat rows of pickles, beets, applesauce, and pears lining my shelves, I did manage to get some food put up in the freezer. I even made a little bit of food specifically for the baby.
So, as you can see life has had it's twists and turns for us over the summer months. The good thing is that we are still moving forward. Things are in progress, and life doesn't look like we planned it, but that is very okay with me. I am so glad to not be the one in control. One can only wonder what next summer may bring. Where will we be living? Who will be doing what? Will there be any beautiful rows of canned goods on my shelves? What shelves will they be?
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