Compelling Statistics

Created by: College At Home

Adult Children

As a parent we raise our children with dreams of our own. Dreams of success, intelligence, and independence. At least that's what I dreamt for them, and for myself. It seems I have failed majorly in this department.

I have managed to raise five girls that are anything but successful, intelligent, or independent. It is beyond frustrating. The decisions that they have made and continue to make just perpetuate their less than favorable situations. It is beyond ridiculous.

Don't get me wrong. They have certain levels of success, at least some of them. Intelligence is relevant. They are academically smart for the most part. It is life skills that they are sorely lacking. And, when it comes to independence, well they are very sorely lacking.

I have been forced to rethink my position as a parent. I no longer offer advice as it falls on deaf ears anyway. They have ignored my advice much to their detriment, and I am so tired of being effected by their bad decisions. If you ignored my advice and created a problem, then that's your problem, right? Not according to my children! This is feeding my belief that parents should live out of comfortable reach from their adult children. What is an adult anyway? It certainly isn't an age. I can tell you that!

Well, I stand corrected. One definition of adult is one who is legally of age. I guess being an adult only has to do with age and nothing else. One can be an adult and still be reliant on their parents. One can be an adult and still make toxic choices as a general rule without the benefit of learning from ones mistakes and making better choices from that point. One may continue to age all the while thinking that the world owes them something.

I know my posts about adult children have been very negative lately. We are just struggling so desperately to cut the apron strings. Enough is enough. It seems the harder we try to get in a position to not be effected by their bad decisions the further we get sucked in. It's like trying to escape from quick sand. Kicking and screaming puts your life in further danger. Yet, if you do nothing you remain stuck. Apparently this is going to require some creative maneuvering on our part. We just cannot seem to figure out the moves.

The hardest part about the whole thing is the way we are treated. There is little to no appreciation for the wonderful feats we are able to pull off. We are a pretty amazing team when it comes to a crisis. We can make things happen, and it's just taken for granted. Sometimes we are even treated rudely, and it is just so hard to stomach. It doesn't help that we are not on the same page when it comes to limits. I would never give as much as my other half, and every time I think he gets it here we are giving again!

I know I am a good parent, and I know I gave it my all. I also know that parents are not always their child's greatest influence, and it can be an uphill battle. I have discovered that I am VERY tired, and I am more than ready to transition to something new. I seriously do not know how much more I can stomach. I went from feeling great to fighting depression. It isn't fun, and I'm ready for a change. Period.