Friday, January 29, 2010

The Story

In preparation for Avery I did a lot of research on how to raise him in a way that he would know right from the beginning just exactly who he is. It is our desire for him to always know the truth and know that he is a special member of our family. One of the most challenging things for a child that is adopted is identity. One idea I read about was to write a story for your child about who he is and how he came to you. So, I did just that!

The idea behind the story is that even though babies cannot understand what you are saying they do learn to recognize words. By reading the story you are making the baby familiar with the words associated to his personal story. So, when you talk about it with him as he is able to understand it will be comfortable as he will already be familiar with the story.

Below you will find the story I wrote. I wrote it in a fashion that anyone could read it to him and it would make sense. I am actually going to have it printed into book format. You can do this so easily and inexpensively. It will be nice for him to have his own, special book made for him with love by his mommy. I am sharing it here as an example for others that may benefit from our experience:

Avery Thomas Smith

The moment Mommy and Daddy knew you existed they loved you. It was a warm summer’s day as Amie sat on the front porch with Daddy and Mommy to tell them that you were growing in her belly. The sun was shining making shadows on the wall as they sat together and talked. They all knew there were big decisions to be made, and what mattered most was what would be best for the baby in Amie’s belly, and that was you.

Mommy and Daddy prayed a lot. They asked God to guide them through this process. They prayed for you to be healthy and happy.

Amie knew that she wasn’t ready to be a mommy, and she knew she wanted you to be happy. So, Amie and Mommy spent a lot of time together talking and thinking about what would be best for the baby growing in her belly, and that was you.

After a while Amie and Mommy talked with Daddy. That is when Mommy and Daddy knew that they wanted to be your Mommy and Daddy. They asked Amie if she would allow them the honor of raising the baby in her belly, and that was you.

When they finished talking, Amie asked if she could think about it for a while. Who would get to be your mommy and daddy was a very important decision, and Amie wanted to make sure she took her time and gave it a lot of thought before she made the decision about who would get to raise the special baby growing in her belly, and that was you.

Mommy and Daddy prayed and prayed and prayed. They asked God to be with Amie as she thought about what was best for you and what would make you happy. Mommy and Daddy prayed for you too. They prayed that you would be healthy and that Amie would be happy to bless them with you as their child.

God answered their prayers, and Amie wrote them a letter letting them know that she loved them and she trusted them. She told them that she would love for them to be the mommy and daddy of the baby growing in her belly, and that was you.

Mommy went with Amie to all of her doctor visits and was the first one to see the baby growing in her belly, and that was you. You were so cute and so little. When the doctor told them that you were a boy Amie asked Mommy and Daddy to give you a name. Daddy was so happy and proud that you were a boy. Mommy and Daddy prayed and talked, and mommy did a lot of research.

It was important to Mommy and Daddy that you have a special name that would always remind you just how much they love you. In the fall they finally decided on the perfect name. Their baby would be Avery Thomas Smith. It is such a special name. Avery means wise, and Thomas was Daddy’s oldest brother’s name. Now, the baby growing in Amie’s belly would always know that Mommy and Daddy love him very much, and that is you!


Karen & Gerard Zemek said...

What a great idea! I had a friend who was adopted by a loving Christian family but even so she always wondered about her biological parents. She would have liked to have had something like this, I'm sure.

redkathy said...

What a beautiful story! My niece is a director at the company whom handles adoption/foster care where we live. Avery is so lucky to have you all for a family!

Michelle said...

Tina, what a WONDERFUL story you've written for Avery! What a wonderful gift. I'm so very thankful that Amie knew she could turn to you and Pat during a very uncertain time in her life. I pray that she will be blessed for her gift of life to Avery. I pray that one day, when she is ready, she will again bring life into this world and have all the tools she needs to be a wonderful mother.

Tina said...

Thank you, ladies! I have been typing away with this little bundle of love in my arms. Just reviewing his story now brings tears to my eyes. This has been such an amazing experience for all of us. I cannot begin to convey the joy he has brought to our family and how he has drawn us all closer together. It is so much fun having him in our family. I cannot imagine life any other way!


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