Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Why not?

I have been wondering a lot lately about what motivates our decisions, especially when it comes to our children. When pondering what our answer should be, before we say, "NO", we should ask ourselves, "Why not?". It has become my opinion that a lot of time the answer of "no" is given because it is seen as the easy answer. It really requires nothing of us. "No" is simple and limiting. It limits activity and relationships. "No" is boring.

As an unschooler it is my duty to seek, "Yes", as pleasant and completely doable. "Why not?" It's much more fun to say, "Sure!", or "Of course!", or "Certainly!", or "Have fun!". An affirmative answer is much more pleasant and induces activity. Why is it that society tends to lean toward the negative rather than the positive?

In a consious effort I have been saying, "Yes" in some form to nearly every so-called request made by my children. To me, there rarely is a legititmate reason to say otherwise. We are all happier and closer for it. Sometimes I use myself as a buffer to those less positive. I find my heart aching for the child of the parent that gives, "No" as a standard answer with no real thought to why. How sad for the both of them. Can such a parent even begin to wrap their brain around the consequences of such a lifestyle?

I believe it my responsibility as an unschooling parent to set a positive example for all those around me. I feel it my duty to give advice wrapped in unschooling wisdom no matter the lifestyle of the asking person. We never know what little thing we say or do may have a tremendous impact on the life of someone else. Even though the effects may not be seen immediately, words and ideas can be built upon over time and experience. Someone has to lay the first brick.

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