Internal Turmoil

As I've grown older and more experienced there is one factor in life that I easily recognize as a great contributor to stress, anxiety, and internal turmoil.  It causes one to question natural instincts, beliefs, decisions and even relationships.  What could be so powerful an influence in life?  Why, guilt of course!  The area I notice the effects of guilt on my life the most is church attendance.  You wouldn't believe the guilt trip I lay on myself when I make the agonizing decision to stay home as opposed to attend church on any given Sabbath.

Honestly, I am not really sure the source of the guilt.  What string of events have been tied together to lead me to this seemingly uncontrollable reaction to the simple choice to stay home on Sabbath rather than attend church service at my home church?  Over the years I have experienced seasons in my life where there seemed more gained physically, spiritually, and emotionally by spending a relaxing Sabbath at home reading, watching sermons on television or the computer, spending time with family, or even out in my garden.  Not to mention the occasional events that take you out of town or just conflict with the timing of church service.  It has been my experience that going with these seasons and/or moments is highly beneficial to myself as well as those around me that I love and care about, but I don't ever fully gain the benefit due to the underlying existence of that dreaded emotion, guilt.

Our latest challenge to church attendance has been the addition to new life in our family and the state of extreme exhaustion that follows as well as the change in daily life that is inevitable with a new family member.  I have learned so much having a new little one, and it seems my newest lesson is to learn how to work through guilt and not let it have power in my life.  What a challenge!

Guilt saps joy even in joyful circumstances.  It's like it has a grip strongly wrapped around your innermost being.  How uncomfortable is that?  Through prayer and concerted effort, along with a conscious decision to learn how to eliminate self-inflicted guilt from my life, I praise God that I am learning how to loose myself from guilt's talons.  It is quite possibly the most challenging thing I've tried to do, especially when it comes to the simple choice of staying home from church.  Part of the reason it is so important to me to learn how to be comfortable with who I am and the decisions I make, aside from the fact that guilt is a powerful, negative emotion, is that the underlying motivation of guilt is our innate concern as to what others think of us or our actions.  Isn't that what guilt really is; worrying about what others think of us?  Seems so to me.

So, why is it that I am so concerned about other's judgement when it comes to my attendance of church.  Shouldn't it matter most to me the state of my relationship with Christ?  Shouldn't my walk with God, my prayer life, and my commitment to serving God to the best of my ability be at the forefront?  The bible does say to not forsake our own gathering together (Hebrews 10:25).  Does this strictly refer to church attendance?  Is there more than one way to gather together?  What about family bible study, group study, meetings with friends, email discussion, or phone conversations?  If we are continually striving toward a closer relationship with God and taking the time to connect with others, does that fit the bill? 

It seems to me that the passage in Hebrews is more of a warning.  Holing oneself up, and never communicating with others, is a dangerous place to put ourselves.  Without the fellowship of others how would we truly learn and grow as individuals, let alone Christians?  As humans, interaction with other is key to our health, both emotional and physical.  We need each other.  How else would we learn empathy and service?  How would we be challenged?  Who would lift us up in our darkest times?  I would go so far as to venture to say that our relationships with each other are just as important as our relationship with Christ, as it is by our interactions with each other that we represent and experience the love of Christ in our daily lives. 

I am going to continue to strive toward a guilt free relationship with church.  It will not be easy, as it seems deep rooted, but I want my heart to pull me there through a longing to learn and share not a condemnation of doing something wrong if I'm not there.  To everything there is a season, and time to every purpose under Heaven...(Ecclesasties 3:1-8)

Preparing for VBS

Well, I'm off to Camp Au Sale again for another fun filled weekend of education and connection. This will be my second year as VBS Coordinator for our church. This year's theme is Bible Mystery Investigation. That's about all I know about it right now.

This will be my first time attending the VBS weekend, and I am looking forward to the experience. It is my understanding that many ideas are exchanged there, and I will head home with the curriculum and some tools to get me started.

I really need to get on the ball. Our VBS program is slotted for the last week in July. I am sure many of you know that three months fly by in the normal course of life, let alone when you have a pressing deadline. Before you know it we will be in the thick of things with the kids.

What I am most interested in is learning how to effectively promote our VBS program. We are a very urban church, but our congregation is aging. We do not have many youth in our church, so we really need to reach out to the community. The youth seem to really be becoming a focus of mine. Where are we without them? They are essential, and we could use more.

Do any of you have experience in this department? Is there anything you can share about bringing more families into the church? What about marketing your VBS program to the community in a fun and inviting way? I'd love to learn from your experience.

Prophecy Seminar

Our church has been hosting the Amazing Discoveries prophecy seminar for the past several weeks. It has been amazing! I have really been enjoying getting to know my church family on a more personal level and getting to know my community members for the first time. It is such a wonderful experience gathering together to learn about prophecy and dig deeper into the Word of God. Church "veterans" and newcomers alike have been learning and growing together.

We are using the Storacles study guide as well as following along with Pastor Steve Vail and his seminar series. This past Sabbath we started studying the book of Daniel. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to grow in this fashion.

I would like to share the information that I have been studying with those that are interested. You can check out Revelation Chronicles as you feel inspired. It is a wonderful resource for those of you that would like to dig deeper into the Word of God and really get into the meat of studying your Bible and allowing it to interpret itself.

Baby A and Baby B!

Yes, that's right! You heard it here first. Tammi's having twins! So, for those of you that can't keep up, that means come March I will be a 38-year-old, homeschooling mom of seven that has SIX grandbabies!

We are in Michigan, and Tammi is six hours away in Indiana. So, this will be very interesting learning how to keep in touch. I'll really have to do a better job of keeping contact. I am sorely lacking in that department already with "Baby" Rocco who will be three by the time his twin siblings are born. They think it's a boy and a girl, by the way. It just gets so tricky with already having SO MANY responsibilities. Maintaining relationships with grands is extra challenging when you are still home educating. Just how many hats can one woman wear, anyway?

So, do any of you have stories about twins having twins? Yes, Tammi is one of our twins. I've tried to look Online for information, but it's not coming easily. Not to mention, my time is very limited...especially for the next month or two. The boys and I are volunteering at a seminar our church is hosting. It will be a lot of fun, but it is a big time commitment on our part. In the meantime, I look forward to hearing your stories.

Happy Father's Day!

Today's sermon at church was about Joseph the earthly father of Jesus. We hear a lot about Mary, but not much is said about Joseph. There is a lot we can learn from his willingness to follow God, accept a pregnant wife, and father a child not of his own seed.

Did God have a purpose in choosing Joseph as the earthly father of Jesus? All of God's actions are with purpose. Joseph was a loving man. He made Mary his priority. Joseph protected Jesus despite the fact that he was not his biological son. He was a man of faith.

What do we learn about faith from our parents? Whether or not we realize it we are constantly influenced by the actions of those around us. Who better to determine our character than our parents.

What kind of role model are you to your children and the youth of your community?

How do you live your life?

What ethics are you teaching?

What do you teach the next generation?

You may not have a lot of time. What are you doing with yours?

Joseph was a man of character and strong morals. Maybe it is time we thought about Joseph and the example he set before us. Our society has been systematically destroying the integrity of our families. We need our fathers. Fathers are protectors, teachers of the proper use of power, instillers of work ethic, demonstrators of respect, and examples of morality.

What kind of father are you?