Internal Turmoil

As I've grown older and more experienced there is one factor in life that I easily recognize as a great contributor to stress, anxiety, and internal turmoil.  It causes one to question natural instincts, beliefs, decisions and even relationships.  What could be so powerful an influence in life?  Why, guilt of course!  The area I notice the effects of guilt on my life the most is church attendance.  You wouldn't believe the guilt trip I lay on myself when I make the agonizing decision to stay home as opposed to attend church on any given Sabbath.

Honestly, I am not really sure the source of the guilt.  What string of events have been tied together to lead me to this seemingly uncontrollable reaction to the simple choice to stay home on Sabbath rather than attend church service at my home church?  Over the years I have experienced seasons in my life where there seemed more gained physically, spiritually, and emotionally by spending a relaxing Sabbath at home reading, watching sermons on television or the computer, spending time with family, or even out in my garden.  Not to mention the occasional events that take you out of town or just conflict with the timing of church service.  It has been my experience that going with these seasons and/or moments is highly beneficial to myself as well as those around me that I love and care about, but I don't ever fully gain the benefit due to the underlying existence of that dreaded emotion, guilt.

Our latest challenge to church attendance has been the addition to new life in our family and the state of extreme exhaustion that follows as well as the change in daily life that is inevitable with a new family member.  I have learned so much having a new little one, and it seems my newest lesson is to learn how to work through guilt and not let it have power in my life.  What a challenge!

Guilt saps joy even in joyful circumstances.  It's like it has a grip strongly wrapped around your innermost being.  How uncomfortable is that?  Through prayer and concerted effort, along with a conscious decision to learn how to eliminate self-inflicted guilt from my life, I praise God that I am learning how to loose myself from guilt's talons.  It is quite possibly the most challenging thing I've tried to do, especially when it comes to the simple choice of staying home from church.  Part of the reason it is so important to me to learn how to be comfortable with who I am and the decisions I make, aside from the fact that guilt is a powerful, negative emotion, is that the underlying motivation of guilt is our innate concern as to what others think of us or our actions.  Isn't that what guilt really is; worrying about what others think of us?  Seems so to me.

So, why is it that I am so concerned about other's judgement when it comes to my attendance of church.  Shouldn't it matter most to me the state of my relationship with Christ?  Shouldn't my walk with God, my prayer life, and my commitment to serving God to the best of my ability be at the forefront?  The bible does say to not forsake our own gathering together (Hebrews 10:25).  Does this strictly refer to church attendance?  Is there more than one way to gather together?  What about family bible study, group study, meetings with friends, email discussion, or phone conversations?  If we are continually striving toward a closer relationship with God and taking the time to connect with others, does that fit the bill? 

It seems to me that the passage in Hebrews is more of a warning.  Holing oneself up, and never communicating with others, is a dangerous place to put ourselves.  Without the fellowship of others how would we truly learn and grow as individuals, let alone Christians?  As humans, interaction with other is key to our health, both emotional and physical.  We need each other.  How else would we learn empathy and service?  How would we be challenged?  Who would lift us up in our darkest times?  I would go so far as to venture to say that our relationships with each other are just as important as our relationship with Christ, as it is by our interactions with each other that we represent and experience the love of Christ in our daily lives. 

I am going to continue to strive toward a guilt free relationship with church.  It will not be easy, as it seems deep rooted, but I want my heart to pull me there through a longing to learn and share not a condemnation of doing something wrong if I'm not there.  To everything there is a season, and time to every purpose under Heaven...(Ecclesasties 3:1-8)

Be Like Salt

As part of our Pathfinder and Adventurer Investiture tonight I heard a great sermon that was directed toward the youth on how Jesus did not call us Christians. He called us salt. Honestly, I have heard this before, but there was something about the way it was presented that really made the implications of such a title sink in for me.

Salt is SO very important in life. Just think about its many uses. How do you compare to salt? Do you complement the situations you are added to, or do you overpower? Maybe you aren't involved enough leaving room for more seasoning.

It was pointed out that salt is supportive through an object lesson with two mason jars and an egg. The question was posed, "Do eggs float or sink in water?" The answers were mixed. However, the result was clear. Eggs sink in water. BUT, what happens when salt is added to the water? You guessed it. The egg floats! That is SO symbolic of what Christ intended for us to be in the world.

We are called upon to make a difference. It is our duty to be helpful, dedicated servants that make a positive impact in the world. We are not to be overpowering. Neither are we to be too laid back. Salt is perfect in just the right amount. It is our duty to find that perfect place and do our best to make a difference without expecting something in return. I think there are many of us that have a problem with that last part. As humans we often want credit for the good things we have done. We desire recognition. God is our cheerleader, and that should be all we need. Seriously, if God is at our side what else could we possibly require?

When you do something, anything, do you give it your all? Are you making a good impression or a not so good impression? Do you give it any thought at all? As it was pointed out on more than one occasion, and I'm sure you've heard it before, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. If you call yourself a Christian, then it is your duty to make a positive impression on those that you come in contact with. You are a representative of Christ. Are you making Him look good? Do you instill a thirst in others for the living water?

Give it some thought. Could you be doing more? Are you too pushy? Where do you need to adjust your seasoning level? Maybe you are spot on. Praise God!

A Little Too Far

We've all gotten those emails telling us that we've inherited this great sum of money, or someone needs our help and is willing to pay. I recently got the following in my Inbox:

Dear Beloved in Christ,

It is by the grace of God that I received Christ, having known the truth; I had no choice than to do what is lawful and just in the sight of God for eternal life and in the sight of man for witness of God & His Mercies and glory upon my life.

I am Mrs.Rachael Davidson,the wife of Mr.Robert Davidson,both of us are citizens of the united state of America. my husband worked with the Chevron/Texaco in Hong Kong for twenty years before he died in the year 2003. We were married for ten years without a child. My Husband died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we both got born-again as dedicated Christians. Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is strongly against.

When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of 7.5 Million Pounds (Seven Million Five Hundred Thousand Pounds) with a Bank in Europe. Presently, this money is still with the Bank and the management just wrote me as the beneficiary that our account has been DORMANT and if I, as the beneficiary of the funds, do not re-activate the account; the funds will be CONFISCATED or I rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf (note that you need to activate this account) as I can not come over.

Presently, I'm in a hospital in Hong Kong where I have been undergoing treatment for esophageal cancer. I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a few weeks to live. It is my last wish to see this money distributed to charity organizations and NGO anywhere in the World in helping human race.

Because relatives and friends have plundered so much of my wealth since my illness, I cannot live with the agony of entrusting this huge responsibility to any of them. Please, I beg you in the name of God to help me Stand-in as the beneficiary and collect the Funds from the Bank. I want a person that is God-fearing who will use this money to fund churches,orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained.

The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband's relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers.

I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death since I know where I am going to. I know that I am going to be in the bossom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14: says that the Lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my soundless voice and presence of my husband's relatives around me always. I don't want them to know about this development. I await your quick response to this mail as this is my last wish to see this funds transferred before my Death. Please my beloved for further communication on how we are going to conclude this, Remain Blessed.

Your Sister in Christ,
Mrs. Rachael Davidson

I removed "her" email so that no one tries to actually look into this. What do you all think of this email? I was SO shocked to receive something like this, and I find it unsettling that someone would go to these lengths to ensnare someone into yet another financial trap. How on earth would they even know I am a Christian? I wonder just how many of these have gone out. Does anyone know how to research something like this? It would be interesting.

Sexual Confidence

Yes, this is a Christian blog. And, yes, healthy christian couples have sex. (How do you think you got here?) However, none of us really talk about it. Honestly, lack of discussion and openness is a bad thing. Sex is a gift from God. It unites us as a couple, "And they shall become one." It also draws us closer to God.

Unfortunately, there are many of us out there that have an unhealthy relationship with sex. We have issues from the past that stay with us and interfere with our marriage relationship. Maybe we had parents that were unaware of how to speak to us in regard to sex and marriage. It could be that our parents did not set a healthy example of the sexual aspect of marriage for us. Maybe sex has been taboo your whole life.

Our inability to deal with our own issues and move into a higher intimacy with our spouse and with God will create more adults, currently our children, that have the same issues, or more. Learning to embrace our sexuality as a gift from God, dealing with our issues, and setting an example for our children is essential to their success as confident, married adults. Our willingness to introduce sexuality to our children as a healthy, blessing from God could potentially change their lives.

I recently read The Sexually Confident Wife by Shannon Etheridge. I cannot recommend it highly enough. I was a little embarrassed when I checked it out from the library, but I am SO glad that I did. It is an amazing book. Shannon is blatantly honest and forthright in the information she shares. The Sexually Confident Wife gives straight forward information on issues like healing past scars, body image, techniques, boundaries, overcoming the "church lady" syndrome, and talking to our children.

The Sexually Confident Wife is a tastefully written, informative guide to the mind, body, heart, and spirit. This is a must read for any woman that is, or plans to be, a wife. It wouldn't hurt matters if her husband read it too! If for no other reason, read this book for the future of your daughters.