(Evolution -- The Monkey's Viewpoint)
Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree discussing things as they are said to be. Said one to the others, "Now listen, you two, there's a rumor around that can't be true. That man descended from our noble race. The very idea is a great disgrace.
No monkey has ever deserted his wife, starved her babies, and ruined her life. And you've never known a mother monk to leave her babies with others to bunk. Or pass from one on to another 'till they scarcely know who is their mother.
And another thing you'll never see, a monk build a fence round a coconut tree, and let the coconuts go to waste, forbidding all other monks to taste; why, if I put a fence around a tree, starvation will force you to steal from me!
Here's another thing a monkey won't do, go out at night and get on a stew. Or use a gun or club or knife to take some other monkey's life.
Yes, man descended the ornery cuss, but brother he didn't descend from us."