Mourning - A Path Diverted

It's been said in a circle or two of my closest friends and family that if we knew what we were getting into when we got married there'd be far less married couples in the world.  The business of carrying on a healthy relationship with anyone over the course of a lifetime is a challenge to say the least.  Not to mention the complexities of the baggage we bring to the partnership and the reality of living in the same home, sharing the same bed in the same room day after day, night after night, week after week, month after month, year after year, and even decade after decade.  Getting along with someone, anyone, in those circumstances over that period of time seems darned near impossible.  Some of us succeed, but many of us fail, and plenty of us are just crazy enough to try multiple times.

I'm going to step out on a limb here and say that, if we are really honest with ourselves, the very same thing could easily be said about having children.  Don't get me wrong.  I love my children; all 10 of them.  However, this parenting thing isn't really turning out the way I envisioned it at all.  The one thing I could have never prepared for is the potential heart break.  I can say without hesitation that raising children has caused me more heartbreak than any relationship I've ever had in my entire life, and I've had some pretty devastating experiences in my lifetime; in my short 44 year lifetime, that is.  I can only imagine what I will have to share if I am fortunate enough to make it another 44 years on this planet.  I'm almost frightened of what I might have to share. 

I have a new found respect for my elders.  That is without question.  I respect the challenges faced to earn wisdom, and I respect that it quite certainly came through painful experience.  Wisdom is rarely gained easily.  More often the most valuable experiences come at the greatest cost.  True, valuable life lessons are not easily won.  We must work hard, be brave, and appreciate the value of failure in order to truly grow as individuals.  There are no guarantees.  There is no "magic" formula for the perfect family.  We can seemingly do everything right and come up with negative outcomes.  Conversely, we can do everything inherently wrong and come up with positive outcomes.  It's just the reality of living and loving.  Failure, despite our best efforts, is always a real possibility.

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, 

though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, 

though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, 

yet I will rejoice in the Lord, 

I will be joyful in God my Savior.  

The Sovereign Lord is my strength; 

he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, 

he enables me to go on the heights."  

~ Habakkuk 3:17-19

What is failure?  Failure is defined in two ways.  One - lack of success.  Two - the omission of expected or required action.  When we begin our journey as a parent we are so optimistic and hopeful.  We imagine great things for our children, and we pull out all the stops to assist them in achieving success; whatever that may look like.  It never dawns on us that things may not turn out as we expect.  What do you mean my child may not be successful?  What do you mean we may experience life altering, heart breaking, mind blowing circumstances that forever alter the course of our lives and the lives of our children?

Somewhere along the way we realize that we are not the only influence in our children's lives.  We are not the only guiding force.  We are not the only ones sharing wisdom and providing guidance to our children; both wise and not so wise.  Our children are not the only ones learning lessons.  As parents we will be learning some big lessons on the heels of the choices of our children.  Our lives will never fully be the same, and we have no way of anticipating just what our existence will look like after 15 or 20 or 30 years of being a parent.  

"A foolish son is a grief to his father 

and bitterness to her who bore him."

~ Proverbs 17:25

No one ever tells us just how hard it is to usher these young people into adulthood.  No one tells us the power they have to just shatter every perception we ever had about parenthood and relating to our offspring.  No one ever tells us the amount of sleep we'll lose, not when they're young and require more hands on parenting, but when they are older and require more hands off parenting.  Only an experienced parent knows that the newborn stage is the easiest it will ever be, and can speak so with gut wrenching honesty.  The challenges only increase over time.

Don't get me wrong.  It's not all bumps and bruises and tears.  There are times of joy and celebration.  It isn't the same for everyone.  Maybe your joys far outweigh your sorrows.  Praise God!  However, there are those of us that experience more challenging seasons; more winters than summers.  Some of us get rocked by the stormy seas more than we sail on the calm waters.  That's just life, and it really is normal; maybe more so than we'd care to admit.

I think it's safe to say that real life, for the vast majority of us, is not the sum of our well orchestrated Facebook and blog posts.  Real life is messy.  There is pain; more than we ever thought possible.  In real life we mourn a lot more than we share.  We mourn in ways we never dreamed. like the loss of a child that is still living, or the shattering of lifelong ambitions at the hands of the poor decisions of our children.  Nothing can prepare us for these things in life, but love can sustain us.  Hope can lift our spirits and strengthen our hearts to persist for another day.  Faith CAN move a mountain, and we can find joy within the trials, even when they belt us one after the other.

Sometimes it is difficult to maintain perspective when we are thrown blow after blow after blow after gut pounding blow.  We don't always feel like picking ourselves up, and it may even take us longer than we imagined to pull ourselves off the floor and rise again to face another day.  When we put our faith in God and truly learn how to hand over our burdens, then we can embrace our reality more openly.  We can take the bad with the bad and find that little bit of good to focus our attention and energy.  There is not a moment we are alone in our struggles, even when we can't necessarily feel it.

Here are some bible verses that encourage me.  Maybe they will bring you a bit of peace as well.

"He gives strength to the weary 

and increases the power of the weak."

~ Isiah 40:29

"My soul is weary with sorrow; 

strengthen me according to your word."

~ Psalm 119:28

"Finally, be strong in the Lord 

and in his mighty power."

~ Ephesians 6:10

"God is our refuge and strength, 

an ever present help in trouble."

~ Psalm 46:1

"As you do not know the path of the wind, 

or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, 

so you cannot understand the work of God, 

the maker of all things."

~ Ecclesiastes 11:5

"Just as a father has compassion on his children, 

so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him."

~ Psalm 103:13

5 on the Fifth - Favorite Blog Posts for December

I've decided that I'm going to stretch myself a bit this year with my blogging; more commitments, new activities, and getting to know more blogs personally.  This is the first step.  I just discovered this link-up, another new to me term, late last night when sleep was eluding me.  That being said, I've obviously not spent the previous month keeping my eye out for blogs to share with you here.  So, what I did was just take a moment and think about blogs I like; some from good friends.  I figured is as good a place to start as any.

Mothering Monday:  Help!  I'm so overwhelmed!

(Home Management Part 2)

The first blog post I'd like to share with you is from my good friend Anna at Where My Treasure Is.  I love her blog and the way she shares her wisdom.  No matter what I read there I leave with a good feeling, and it may even challenge me in a kind and gentle way.  Recently I read her post on home management, and let me tell you how timely it was for me.  I felt encouraged after reading this post, and I hope you do as well.

Make Your Own Calendula Salve

(a quick and easy gift idea!)

As some of you know, I have been on a trying journey to rediscover health and understand more clearly the food that I feed to my family.  This past year has been a year of tremendous increase in knowledge in this area.  One of my favorite discoveries was GNOFGLINS (God's Natural, Organic, Whole Foods, Grown Locally, In Season).  I love when the posts come through my news feed on Facebook, and I even get information from them in my email inbox.  Mind you, I've gotten pretty selective about what comes through that medium.  Am I the only one that can find myself drowning in emails?  Here is a recent post with a helpful, homemade gift idea.  Maybe you'll find yourself inspired.

Living on What We Have:  
A Month of No Groceries

This next post is an idea that I've pondered more than a time or two, especially since we've made our big move to the country.  I grew up poor, and I do know how to live with very little.  I am forever thankful for having a mother that taught me how to keep my house stocked with food and essentials like toilet paper, laundry soap, and medicines.  She managed to keep a hefty larder despite a VERY minimal income.  She was, and still very much is, very thrifty.  I suppose being raised on a farm by parents that survived the Great Depression had a little something to do with that.  Now that my hubby and I find ourselves raising yet another generation of children we tend to look at a lot of things differently than we did when we were younger. this is definitely not one of those areas.  My natural instinct is to have a good stock of food, among other things, at all times.  I shop for deals and do my best.  Often, though, I do find myself wondering just how long my stock will last and how much food do I need to put up to meet the needs of my family comfortably.  Leona at My Healthy Green Family took this challenge seriously and put in the very real effort to find out just what she was capable of pulling off, and I thoroughly appreciate the fact that she took the extra step in sharing her experience with the rest of us.  Check out her journey!

Dear Fellow Shopper...

I've had the honor of reconnecting via Facebook with one of my favorite gal pals from grade school, and I am certainly the better for it.  She's a bubbly person that grew up in the Midwest and sports a Southern accent.   (I've not had the privileged or confusion of actually hearing her talk since this transformation.)  One thing I have gotten acquainted with however is her personal blog.  Her writing style is amazing as ever; enhanced a little by age, faith, and hard earned wisdom.  She shares poignantly her exploits and the subsequent growing pains.  She's off the cuff and no holds barred.  She's not afraid to let you see her rough edges.  It's what I love about her.  One day maybe I'll be lucky enough to share a jar of pickles with her face to face again, but this time I think they should be deep fried!

What in the World is Tallow?

Here's another lady I know that loves to share her knowledge with those who are interested in learning and growing.  In the three short years that I've been privileged to know and cultivate a friendship with her, my knowledge has grown greatly.  Honestly, I owe a lot of that to her.  It's empowering when you are fortunate enough to rub shoulders with confident people, especially women when you are one yourself, that are more than comfortable being the person God created them to be.  When we want to grow it's a good idea to put ourselves in the company of those respect and those that challenge us to become better versions of ourselves.  This post has nothing specifically to do with that very topic, but using beef tallow for good things was a bit new to me.  I found the process interesting, and I love the biblical connections she always seems to share.  Those of us that know her personally are glad she's finally taken up blogging.  I think you will as well.

You can visit the rest of the posts here.

What Oxygen Mask?

I don't know about you, but when life gets crazy and hectic the care and keeping of me is the first thing that slips to the wayside.  It's not like a conscious decision.  Things just seem to slip slowly off my radar.  The first to go, I think, is my supplement regimen.  With my current health challenges this is a really important thing for me to maintain.  I don't know why I stop taking the things that contribute so greatly to my well being, but I do it every.single.time and I pay for it accordingly.  This mama is T-I-R-E-D.

So, what was the trigger this time?

All three of the young ones at home contracted Pertussis.  Don't worry!  It's not as alarming as it sounds.  It is just a TREMENDOUS inconvenience.  Today marks week seven for the first to contract the dreaded cough, and he's still exhibiting symptoms.  Mind you they are markedly improved, and Lord willing my sleep deprivation will soon be a thing of the past.  For right now, I remain thoroughly exhausted.

What are the symptoms of Pertussis anyway?

Initial symptoms can include low-grade fever, runny nose, mild cough, and infants can experience a pause in breathing.  As the disease progresses symptoms can include many rapid coughs followed by a "whoop", vomiting, and being very tired after coughing fits.  Some of these symptoms were present for our three, but some of them weren't.  It was also a very different experience for all three of the children.  For us it began with a random cough here and there with NO other symptoms.

How did we get Pertussis in our home?

We were actually exposed to two families that struggled with the 100 Day Cough, as they call it in China (for very good reason, I might add), and I thought we'd made it through unscathed.  (I'm currently singing, This is the cough that never ends.  It goes on and on my friends. Some people started coughing not knowing what it was, and they'll continue coughing forever just because...This is the cough that never ends...)  Personally, I think we may have made it through without contracting it had I not made what I consider a terrible lapse in judgement as a parent.  My children rarely have sugar, but we had a little celebration of sorts.  I allowed them each to have VERY high doses of sugar in a very small amount of time.  The very.next.day the first one was exhibiting symptoms, and we've been battling Pertussis ever since.

Don't worry.  I don't beat myself up about it, but it sure did get my attention and remind me of just how dramatically the intake of sugar can impact our health. It reminded me that our diets are our first line of defense when it comes to maintaining good health.  This whole experience has forced my hand so to speak and given me the extra nudge I needed to make some more dramatic changes to our diets and make better choices for my family.  I've never been more mindful of the sugar and grains present in our daily meals, ever.

What did you do about it?

Fortunately, I have a wonderful friend that is very knowledgeable and willing to share her wisdom, experience, and resources to all who are willing and eager to learn.  She gave me a push in the right direction by sharing her personal experience with the disease as well as giving me enough information and resources to educate and arm myself.  I took the time to look at several opinions on the handling of the disease (It's amazing the amount of reading that can occur by a stressed out parent in the middle of the night.) including the CDC website, and The International Medicine Council on Vaccination as well as books like The Complete Book of Essential Oils and Aromatherapy, Prescription for Nutritional Healing, and Natural Remedies Encyclopedia.

From these resources we decided to treat our children with Elderberry Syrup, Sodium Ascorbate, Liquid C, a probiotic, and a good multivitamin/mineral as well as Colloidal Silver.  Coupled with the strict supplement regimen we have also held to a very strict diet consisting of no sugar or grains along with diffusing and vaporizing specific essential oils in our home on a regular basis.  This has proven very effective, and our children are well on their way to getting better.  One is completely well now, and the other two are not too awful far behind.  All of them are past the contagious stage, but we still keep our distance from others.  Even if we aren't contagious, the cough can sound bad and might make others uncomfortable.  Hopefully, we'll feel comfortable mingling with the general public, and not just those that we know have already battled Pertussis and won, in the next couple of weeks.

What's Next?

After I was almost completely out of breath I remembered that I needed to put my oxygen mask on and take care of myself.  I may may not have remembered to do it first, but at least I got it back on before I passed out fully.  I'm back on my supplement regimen, and I was already keeping a strict diet along with the kids, but I have also implemented a much earlier bedtime for all of us just for a while.  We all seem to need it and benefit from it greatly.

We'd already planned to take the month of December off from our regular scheduled programming to focus more on Christmas, organizing our home, and some good old fashioned playtime.  Everyone is having a ball.

Speaking of ball!  It's almost time to get back on the ball with The Old Schoolhouse and The Review Crew, and I am super excited.  Being part of The Crew has been such a blessing to our family, and in particular to me.  I love to write, and I love the way that being a member of The Crew challenges me to write more, write better, and learn more and more about using social media.  (sigh - LOL)  It has been challenging at times, but I LOVE a good challenge and nothing motivates me more than a strict deadline.

In the coming days and weeks you will see me on here more.  The kids and I have been having fun doing special crafts and activities in preparation for Christmas that I am very excited to share with you.  We have been enjoying bird watching and will start our photography study soon.  (Shhh,,,they're all getting cameras for Christmas.)  Day after day our home is looking more and more like Christmas.

Things are changing around here, and it's not just the holidays.  We've had the first half of the school year to see what is working and what is not.  The second half will look a little different for us, and I hope it brings more fun.  Not to mention, I'm already thinking about spring and our plans for animals and vegetable gardening here on our little homestead.

We may be part of The Crew, but we're also part of a bigger crew.  Our family can feel our Captain steering our little boat into different waters, and we wait with anticipation to see what lies on the horizon.  All of us are growing around here, not just the kids, and for some of us it's a bit of a bigger stretch.  I hope you stick around and enjoy the cruise with us.  2015 is bound to have many surprises in store for everyone.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, 

we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,

through whom we have gained access by faith

into this grace in which we now stand.

And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.

And not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, 

because we know that our suffering produces perseverance;

perseverance, character; and character, hope.

And hope does not put us to shame,

because God's love has been poured out 

into our hearts through the Holy Spirit,

who has been given to us.

~ Romans 5:1-5

Learning Lessons Along the Way

The simple act of living life brings many a lesson along the way.  No institutional education can even come close to doling out the important lessons we experience in actively, or even inactively for that matter, living our lives.  Lord knows I've learned some real lessons the really hard way.  For many years it seemed, at least it felt that way, that I learned EVERYTHING the hard way, and often the really hard way.  Profound and life altering lessons like the value of purity, the sanctity of marriage, the importance of honesty and integrity, the value of friendship, and the tremendous value of family.

Thankfully, those lessons are behind me, and praise God I learned from them; some quicker than others in all truthfulness.  From there I graduated to the next level of lessons including the fact that things rarely ever go as we plan them.  Life will throw us quick and fast curve balls that will test our faith and challenge our endurance.  A time, or two or ten, will come where we will NEED to sink or swim.  We will tire, rest, recharge, and kick back into high gear.  As long as we have faith we truly CAN see anything, anything, through to the other side.

Lately, I have been reflecting a lot.  I rather enjoy it.  Yes, my life has been pummeled by round after round of challenges.  Sometimes it feels like I've barely caught my breath from the last circumstance, and there's already another huge challenge coming through my front door.  More than once I've felt there was no way I could withstand another hurdle.  "It's just TOO MUCH!", I would cry out.  "I cannot take ANYMORE!"  Then the peace would come.  Just when I reached the brink a glimmer of light would appear on the horizon, and there would be hope (no matter how small) that indeed I could see things through to the other side.

When I look back at the whopper challenges I have faced and seen through, the things I am facing today pale in comparison.  On my worst days I am reminded that I have faced far worse in the past and made it through, and no matter how bad things are they could ALWAYS, always, be worse.  And, Heaven forbid, there are likely worse days to come.  With the reality of circumstance in mind I have become much better at living in the here and now, and handing what lies ahead over to the Lord;  plain and simple, and sometimes as complicated, as it may be.

When I live consciously in the present I focus on what is most important now, and my energy sustains what is necessary.  There is no wasted energy and emotion spent on what has been or what could  be.  All of my valuable, more now than ever, energy is spent on what's most important, the present.  This has been becoming more and more clear to me as each day passes.

These past few weeks have seen me aggressively putting a concerted effort into planning our 2014-15 school year.  It has been a monumental task that was nearly all consuming.  At first I lamented its necessity.  Then I beat myself up for waiting so long to begin planning.  After a little reflection and some encouragement from fellow homeschooling moms I was reminded that this is my first year using this approach to educating my children in many years.  I didn't wait, I just figured out what we are doing and started preparations accordingly.  It has been a tremendous learning curve for ME, and that is perfectly fine and acceptable.  It's all good!  No worries.  Learn the lesson, and move on.  My lessons learned about planning the upcoming school year, so far and for me, are:

1.  Know ahead of time at least the "skeleton" of what you will be studying for the following year. Have a long term plan.

2.  Know your mission statement, and refer to it often.

3.  Cut yourself A LOT of slack.

4.  Purchase any curriculum and needed materials in the spring.  (April and May host my favorite homeschool conventions, and they are perfect resources.)

5.  Spend the summer planning the following year instead of cramming it all in just a few weeks before your scheduled start date.

6.  Purchase two workbooks.  It's cheaper financially and in regard to time spent making copies.  Seriously, just buy two workbooks!

7.  Just because September seems like a good time to start the new school year doesn't mean that it is.  Follow the crop schedule, put up food, and start school in October.

8.  Purchase extra erasers for use during planning.  You WILL do A LOT of erasing!

9.  Keep a running list of needed materials or resources that you discover as you actively plan your year.

10.  Trade childcare with a friend when you need large chunks of time to concentrate.  It's impressive, really impressive, what you can accomplish with five hours of uninterrupted time to work.  Really, it is VERY impressive.

11.  Notebooks are a beautiful thing.  Buy extra.

12.  Crayons disappear like magic.  Buy extra.

13.  It's worth it to buy a full case of copy paper.

14.  Be cautious when purchasing re-manufactured ink cartridges.

15.  It will never be a fully perfect plan.  Life will interrupt living.  Start on your planned start date, anyway.  There is no perfect time.

While my focus has been on planning the 2014-15 school year for my family and learning to live with a less than tidy home I have been afforded the opportunity to see life, my life, a little more clearly in the process.  Even when living seems overshadowed by tragedy and turmoil, blessings persist.  Where I choose to put my focus is up to me; another facet of free choice granted to me by my Creator.  

The Beginning of Knowledge

Proverbs 1:1-7

The proverbs of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel: 

To know wisdom and instruction, 

to understand words of insight, 

to receive instruction in wise dealing, 

in righteousness, justice, and equity; 

to give prudence to the simple, 

knowledge and discretion to the youth— 

Let the wise hear and increase in learning, 

and the one who understands obtain guidance, 

to understand a proverb and a saying,

the words of the wise and their riddles.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;

fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Road Trip Therapy

There is nothing, I mean NOTHING, like a road trip with a good friend.  I am feeling blessed in so many ways.  The Lord has been teaching me abundantly lately, and for the most part I have been receiving the lessons with open and willing arms.  It is so freeing when we just go with the flow and do not force life into our own skewed idea of the way things are supposed to be.

That being said, I am learning to let go.  Let go of my ideals.  Let go of my agenda.  Let go of my expectations.  Let go, and be free.  What is more fitting than a road trip with no real agenda?  Part of it is planned, loosely.  As a Seventh Day Adventist woman that resides in Michigan I am richly blessed to have an amazing church camp.  This weekend marks the first of three weekends this month that Camp Au Sable will host Women's Ministries.  It is an amazing opportunity to feed your soul.  Women, Adventist and not, gather from all over Michigan and beyond to fellowship together.  We eat, we laugh, we cry, we worship, we learn, we connect, and we grow.  There is so much beauty at Camp Au Sable, in the natural surroundings as well as the people.

So, the Women's Ministries Weekend is the planned part.  Well, loosely.  Normally I am packed and ready to go by now, but alas that is not the case for me with this journey.  I just determined when check-in is last night, and I've no real clue what the real topic of the weekend is, or what the seminars are, or what the schedule is, or what the special plans are, or what I want to do in my spare time.  I mean nothing.  I just made my packing list last night.  Last night!  Our washing machine is broken and will not be fixed until next week, so I still have to go out and do laundry.  This is SO not me!  But, I am okay with it and just going with the flow.  It is almost surreal.  It's like I'm looking in from the outside wondering who it is that I am.  In years past I would be so stressed in this circumstance.  Not now.  It is what it is, right?  It will all work out.  It always does.  No biggie!

So, the super unplanned part begins when we leave Camp Au Sable for our return journey home.  Guess what?  Not going home!  WOO-HOO!!!  This mamma needs a break, and my best gal pal and I are taking one.  You have no clue, or maybe you do, just how much I am looking forward to a full 24 hours to do just as I please.  See, we extended our weekend through Monday evening.  Yippee!  What do we plan to do?  I am really not sure, and that is uber cool!  Will we leisurely browse through a used book store?  Will we eat lunch while gazing out at Lake Huron, will we lounge around at a hotel as long as possible, will we find a cool cottage somewhere, will we, will we, will we?  I have no clue, and it is SO beautiful.

My time has been consumed with illness, school lessons, house cleaning, errand running, bill paying, cooking, and the slew of other things that have landed in my lap.  Responsibility has reigned, so I have spent ZERO time planning for my much anticipated extended weekend of freedom.  How refreshing!

A quote worth pondering:

God is looking for imperfect men and women 

who have learned to walk in moment-by-moment dependence on the Holy Spirit. 

Christians who have come to terms with their inadequacies, fears, and failures. 

Believers who have become discontent with ‘surviving’ 

and have taken the time to investigate everything God has to offer in this life.

- Charles Stanley

May your weekend be richly blessed, 
your soul wonderfully fed, 
and your spirit lifted high.

Let Go, Let God

Cliche?  Over used?  No meaning?  Well, let me tell you that this has bigger meaning to me now than it ever has any other time in my life.  It's rather impressive how God can use any and all circumstances to teach us a thing or two.  It doesn't really have to be a tragedy or something dramatic.  God is working in our lives all the time, but do we take the time to notice?  I'm not so sure how much I really noticed before we decided to try to sell our family home in order to relocate to the country.

Moving is a big decision.  It is even bigger a decision the more dramatic the move.  Granted, there are plenty of moves that are more life changing than ours, but it is a major lifestyle change no matter how you slice it.  When we first made the decision to list our home for sale we really didn't think it could be accomplished.  Sell our home in this market?  We were upside down in our mortgage.  How would we ever be able to get out of this with our excellent credit rating and no lingering debt?  With God ALL things are possible.  (Matt. 19:26)

Our first blessing was the referral we received from the law firm that handled our adoption earlier in the year.  My husband was on his feet enough to have thought to ask if they knew anyone that would be good to work with in our situation.  The lawyer referred us to Ben Lang, and so began our journey.  We met with Ben, filled out the paperwork, and waited.  Nothing really happened, so we continued to pray and lowered the price.  Honestly, we were pretty laid back about the whole thing.  Having no real expectations does make waiting much easier.  Patience coupled with faith is an excellent remedy to such situations.

After some time a few offers came in that were so low there was no way we could accept them in the traditional manner, so we decided to pursue a short sale.  It was after all Ben's specialty.  The paperwork involved is very detailed and time consuming.  I was certain there was no way we could qualify not being able to show any sort of financial hardship.  However, we were able to use our quality of life as the basis and move forward with the request.  We explored a couple of other options, but nothing panned out.  The only thing we could remotely attempt would be a short sale.

This process began in April.  I was in no hurry to make anything happen as I wanted to be sure we were being led in our decisions as opposed to forcing something to happen.  It was very important to me that any decisions we made were in accordance with God's will for our family.  That being said, I dragged my feet on every part of the process pushing deadlines and doing everything last minute, sometimes literally.  By some miracle the process just kept moving forward; at a snails pace but forward nonetheless.

God used this time to great advantage.  My husband and I learned some valuable lessons through the experience due mostly to the timing of events.  Had things happened quickly like we usually desire there is no way God could have taught us patience, faith, reliance, guidance, and how to look to Him and His Word for all things.  Even with all the traumatic things I have experienced in my life there is no other time where I felt closer to God.  I literally felt led by the hand.

Our qualifying for the short sale is only the beginning of our list of blessings.  The bank accepted the offer made by a local business man and investor.  We continued to jump through hoops as required by the bank and the government.  By December of 2010 we had sold our family home with no remaining mortgage debt, no promissory note, no real damage to our credit, and the ability to rent our home for as long as we needed until we found a new one at the tune of $500 less per month than we were paying for our mortgage.  The weirdest part of it all was giving a security deposit to a landlord for the home we had remodeled and continuously improved for the past 15+ years.

On the advice of several financial experts we waited three months, ran our credit, and started the procedure of pre-qualifying for a mortgage.  Ben referred us to a great broker, and we got the ball rolling.  Certain aspects of the process leave on feeling a little uncertain as to the outcome.  See, our sole purpose in selling our home was to purchase a new one out of the city and in the country.  Should any part of this process worked out any differently that would have been impossible.  Beginning the mortgage aspect was a little nerve wracking.  Were they going to turn us down due to the short sale?  We had excellent credit, but we needed to prove ourselves to them in a big way.  Could we muster up?  The process of gaining the mortgage and being able to purchase the house was just as involved, intrusive and time consuming as the short sale process, if not more so.  The deadlines are more real in the mortgage process to be sure.

We began actively looking for a home in April.  Our original intention and desire was to stay within Macomb County.  I am a big fan of the library system as well as Macomb County Community College; not to mention we own a business there, and our next to youngest son is finishing his senior year in Fraser at Arts Academy in the Woods.  In my mind these are all great reasons to stay in the county, but God had other plans.  It wasn't too long into the process that we realized finding a home with the amenities we desired and in the price range we wanted was going to be challenging.  There just didn't seem to be much out there, which seemed so contrary to the current statistics supporting a buyer's market.  One thing led to another, and we began to start looking in St. Clair County.  Poor Ben!  That guy was driving all over creation with us.  We ended up being referred to Tanya Nettnay through our brother-in-law.  She specializes in St. Clair County properties, and grew up a country girl.  What more could we ask for?  Due to our love for Ben, and his dedication to us as his clients, we arranged a formal referral.  It was time to move on to uncharted territory.

I grew up in St. Clair County, but I lived in the city.  My husband grew up in Macomb County and had no clue about anything out that way.  Who knew God's direction would lead us to a location better than we could imagine?  Honestly, I really didn't even think the house anything too special after we looked at it.  One thing that did strike me, though, was the happiness of the previous owner.  She and her husband raised six children in this home, and their story is so similar to ours that it was uncanny.  The similarities did get my attention.  We looked at the home a second and third time and could find no other homes on the market that even came close to meeting our needs.  In prayerful consideration we made an offer.  There was a counter, and we accepted.  One would think the story ends here, but bureaucracy is never simple.  It was time to jump through more hoops and appease more red tape.

We gathered more information, submitted more paperwork and documentation, hired inspectors, and met the demands of FHA.  Not a simple process.  From acceptance of offer to signing of papers we passed through nearly three months.  We even cancelled our vacation to make ourselves available for the process.  See, the thing about this process being so lengthy and never really knowing if it would all work out until we actually signed the papers was a huge opportunity for us to learn and grow.  This transition is not about us at all.  Rather, it is about God and how we can work to glorify Him.  It has been my constant prayer that He place us exactly where it is he needs us, and I believe with my whole heart that we are where He wants us to be.  I do not claim to know His plans, but I have faith and confidence that I did not put myself here.  God led, opened the doors and the windows, and bid us to come through.  We did just that all the while checking to be  certain that each step was guided and not self-directed.

It is truly amazing the things that can happen if we only stay out of the way.  Is my new home perfect in every way?  No.  Does my new home have all the attributes listed to meet my desires?  No.  Would I have it any other way?  Absolutely not!  I am happy that we "Let Go, and Let God".  I cannot imagine the blessings we would miss, known and unknown, had we not allowed ourselves to be led.

As faith would have it we are now close to family members that we've always lived far from, close to some that moved away, and in a much better position to share our blessings with whomever God sees fit.  Our hearts are open, and it is difficult to imagine things any other way.  Also, the investor that purchased our old home was able to sell it immediately after we moved out.  We prayed in earnest for the new owners that the home would be a blessing to them.  Working with the investor was a privilege and another opportunity to shine for Christ.  He does indeed use all circumstances to His glory.  (Romans 8:28)

Lord willing, we'll never have to do it again!  

Our new home before we started moving in.

Where are your thoughts?

God has been at work in my life, and I am SO thankful! Whether or not we realize it, God is always faithfully there by our side. I cannot imagine what might have happened to me when I was younger had God not sent his angels to care for me. What a blessing it is to be a child of God!

Do you think on these things? Where are your thoughts? Are you thankful for what you have, or are you wallowing in the "have-nots"? What is in the forefront of your mind when you wake in the morning? Are your thoughts on good things? Do you thank God for what you have each morning, or do cry about what you think is missing?

Our thoughts are so powerful! What do you do with the power God has given you? It has become very evident to me that being positive is likely the best thing we can do for our self and for God. What is God to do with a "Gloomy Gus"?

Maybe things are bad. Maybe you are dealing with something that is difficult or frustrating. What is the more fruitful action to take? Should you sit around, mope, and complain? Rather, would it be better to rejoice in what you have, and be hopeful?

There was a time when I wallowed in misery. I'll tell you. It got me nothing but more misery. Once I learned to change my thought pattern I was so blessed. Perspective is powerful, and we do possess the power to re-frame our thinking.

Today, think on things that are good. Combat negative thinking with positive thinking. Better yet, combat negative thoughts with scripture. God has given us HIS WORD so that we may learn and grow and face struggles with His power.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).