We Choose Virtues - Parenting Cards Review

With the change in dynamics, both planned and unplanned, in our family over the past few years I have become more conscious of the purpose of my role as a parent than ever before in my life.  My husband and I are what is now considered "older parents", and that fully impacts our perspective in relationship to our goals of parenting.  Now, more than ever, it is important to us to raise independent children with strong core values.  Because of this I was thrilled to have the opportunity to review the NIrV version of We Choose Virtues Parenting Cards.  This is such a simple resource with tremendous impact potential!  The kids and I will be using them for years to come. My homeschooling children are currently between three and eight, and this resource is geared for ages 3 to 11.  We will have plenty of opportunity to use it time and time again.

For the course of the review period we incorporated the 13 Parenting Cards into our daily devotion time in the morning.  It seemed a natural fit.  The kids enjoyed coloring the corresponding virtue page from the PDF Dowload Kids of VirtueVille Coloring Book while I read the parenting card to them.  We discussed the virtue of the day, read the one paragraph story about the particular VirtueVille kid, and payed attention throughout the day for opportunities to learn more about the virtue.  The incorporation of characters, songs (another PDF Download resource), and object lessons really helps to cement the virtue into our memory.  The biblical application is seamless, a natural partner to the lesson.

Annabella coloring Gerbil Jill.

Avery coloring Chuck and Duck.

As many homeschooling moms are doing at this time of year, I am currently putting together our next year's course of study.  We Choose Virtues Parenting Cards are slotted to hold an important place in our daily plan.  It is my intention to expand upon each virtue for a more in depth study and application of the lesson.  It is very important to me to teach my children to have virtue and to know their bible.  The Parenting Cards are the perfect tool for the job.  With the Family Character Assessment, the Kids of VirtueVille Coloring Book, the Butterfly Awards, the Teacher's Handbook, and my bible I have all the tools I need to create a year's worth of biblical character building unit studies for my family.  My favorite part is the minimal investment of time on my part.  Bonus!

As we reviewed the cards together as a family in preparation for this review, I may have gotten the biggest lesson.  Be prepared, parents!  Instilling character in your wee ones is the most effective way to examine your own character, usually with a microscopic view.  Our first card was I am Patient.  Well, let me tell you, I am not nearly as patient as I thought I was.  What a good first card for us!  I needed that eye opener right from the get go.  It was good for the kids to see that even mom needs to work on her virtues.  We may be the leaders of our family as parents, but we are far from perfect.  It is good for our children to know that we are all a work in progress.




Another way the Parenting Cards helped me personally is in the teachable moments portion.  This is the biggest section on the card.  It provides you with suggestions as to how to reinforce the virtue throughout the day or week, or your chosen time period.  This is highly beneficial for me, as I struggle with remembering to provide positive reinforcement to my children.  I have already been working on myself in this area for a while, and having the reminders is helpful.  I see my children shine the brightest when they are complemented on their actions.  It is so much more helpful to receive positive feedback on our accomplishments than to only hear where we are going wrong.  Balance is key, and this tool helps me keep it.


I am excited to incorporate We Choose Virtues Parenting Cards along with the PDF Download Package into our homeschool for the 2014-15 school year here at Royal Academy.  Our lives are surely richer for it.  Yours can be too!  The Parenting Cards are available for $38.49 with a FREE Family Character Assessment Download.  You can also purchase the We Choose Virtues Download Bundle for $7.99 here.

Visit We Choose Virtues on Facebook, Pinterest, and their blog.

I Love John Rosemond!

Okay, I love my husband a lot more, and love might be too strong of a word, but I do have a great respect for Dr. Rosemond.  He is a breath of fresh air to this couple right here.  We both enjoyed listening to him very much at the GHC convention in Cincinnati.  I thought it might be fun to revisit my notes and share with you what I learned.

Dr. Rosemond is very easy to listen to.  He is matter of fact and quite funny.  At the end of each seminar he left us wanting more; not that his talk was missing anything, just that he was that enjoyable to listen to.  My husband and I both agreed that we could have listened to him well into the night.

We feel challenged by the ideas of Dr. Rosemond.  His insight is well founded and spot on.  With his help, we traveled back several decades to the 1950's, and beyond, where he reminded us of the parenting styles of our mothers and grandmothers.  One thought that stuck with me is, "My mother expected me to pay attention to her."  Why, yes.  Yes she did!  His charge is that today's mother pays too much attention to her children, and that attention has profoundly negative effects on the very children we are so desperately trying to positively influence.

Based on his education in psychology and his own experience as a parent, Dr. Rosemond contends that this parental shift of sorts happened in the 1960's when parents quit listening to and learning from their elders in regard to parenting their own children.  Rather, they started listening to the flawed advice of psychologists and so called professionals.  From that point forward the behavior of our children has disintegrated, and our stress level has sky rocketed.  Today's mom has the bar raised so high that she can never achieve the standards she's set for herself, but she wears herself out to no end trying.  I have to admit my guilt in this one.  I have tortured myself day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, and even decade after decade trying so desperately to learn the best way to parent my children without messing them up too much.  What a daunting task it has been at times!

Dr. Rosemond contends that today's mother works much harder than the mothers of decades past while she raises half the children her grandmother did.  It's really ridiculous if you stop and think about it, and think about it I have.  My husband and I had already been pondering some of these things.  We just hadn't found our way quite to the level Dr. Rosemond took us.  One thing that always bothered me was the level of effort we put forth to extract obedience from our children; never mind the multitudes of failures in this department over the years.  I had already been discussing this with my husband.  Don't get me wrong.  I wasn't a perfect kid.  I made some terrible mistakes growing up, but for the most part I did what I was told when I was asked to do something.  My mom didn't have to fight with me to do my part around the house.  I knew what was expected, and I did it.  There were no chore charts, no allowance, and rarely a remind.  She never had to correct how I folded the towels or go behind me because I missed the corners when I dusted.  There was no reminder to put the milk back in the refrigerator, and she didn't have to remove something from the cupboard due to me putting it in the wrong place.  It didn't happen.  I was taught how to do things right and to do it right the first time.  There were no battles.  I've never been able to understand why I wasn't able to pull that level of efficiency off with our own children.  I always chalked it up to being a combined family.  Now, I would have to say that would be incorrect.

Another thing that really stood out to me is the point Dr. Rosemond made about his mom spending time with her friends and what they did, or didn't, talk about.  He shared that he had asked his mother what she used to talk about with her girlfriends when he was a kid.  Guess what?  It was everything BUT him!  I know I have personally spent a lot of time talking with trusted individuals about my parenting challenges over the years.  Moms of the past did no such thing.  They didn't talk about their children.  Instead, the talked about their interests and how they were spending their time.  They were INTERESTING!  Are you interesting?  I know I am not so interesting, and it has been a struggle of my heart.  I have been frustrated very much in this department for quite some time.  I am so wrapped up in my children that there is NO time for ME.  I have felt lost in parenthood for many years now.  A couple of years ago I was just glimpsing the illusion of freedom, and it did feel good, then we became parents of three instead of one.  (For those of you that are unfamiliar, we had already raised seven children when we adopted one more.  Then, we also became parents to two of our grandchildren unexpectedly.  Vacation over!  LOL)  I say illusion, because I really didn't know that I was my own gate keeper.

This idea ties into another area of discussion between the husband and myself, freedom for the kids.  Dr. Rosemond hit on this as well.  Kids NEED time that is unstructured.  In today's society we are SO structured with an abundance of activities.  We cart kids from one thing to the next, and they rarely have time all to themselves.  One thing I have known for a long time is that kids actually NEED to get bored.  Boredom does breed creativity.  My conclusion?  If we actually allow our children unstructured time to explore, play, and just be children, then we mothers will have plenty of time to explore, play, and just be ourselves.  We can take off our hats and truly be who we are.  We CAN be interesting!  We do not need to be so wrapped up in the lives of our children that we cannot do anything relevant to ourselves.  Seriously!  If we do not make it a point to be interesting and be MORE than mothers to our children our children WILL view us as dispensers of entitlements.  This, dear friend, is a fact.  I have seen it plain and simple in our family as well as the families of those near and dear to my heart.

How do you feel when I make this statement?  "Children should be seen, and not heard."  It used to ruffle my feathers.  Now, I view it in a totally different light.  I love including children in conversation, but there is a distinct line that has been muddied over the decades of degradation.  Though the aforementioned statement may seem blunt and harsh to we parents of today, there is a value in the philosophy that has been going right over our heads.  It may be even more relevant to those of us that are homeschoolers.  When children are "seen, and not heard" they are cast in the role of the student.  The distinction between adult and child becomes clear, and children are effectively taught to become adults.

We, my husband I, are still learning how to be effective parents in our home.  Raising seven children in the circumstances that we did taught us a lot.  It laid the foundation for us to be capable of raising the children currently in our charge.  Our hearts and minds have never been more open to the prompting of God, especially with regard to the care and keeping of children.  I know what I have shared my strike a nerve with some of you.  However, when I am completely honest with myself I am acutely aware of the way things have degraded within our society.  I believe in the Biblical principles as the foundation for family, and I am constantly working toward understanding what the Bible has to say and how to apply it to my life.  I long for a self-sufficient life for my children based on Godly principles and Biblical virtues.  With this in mind I will continue to educate myself, keep my heart open to the prompting of God, and share with others what I learn along the way.  Over the coming months I will continue to share on this and related subjects.  I hope the things God has put on my heart with challenge your thinking as well as encourage you along your own personal journey with your Creator, your family, yourself, and your community.

Lentils - A Biblical Lesson

This weeks biblical lesson fit nicely in with our Sabbath preparations.  In our home Friday is Preparation Day.  We do our best to get the house tidy, food prepared ahead for Sabbath, and our things that we need for church in the morning laid out ahead of time.  These simple steps really do contribute greatly to making Sabbath a joy.

We have been learning the story of Jacob and Esau.  With this comes a lesson on the power of hunger to influence our decision making.  According to Genesis 25:29-34 Esau was so hungry that he gave Jacob his birthright for a bowl of lentil stew.

In Bible lands lentils have been an important food for centuries.  They can grow in very poor soil.  Lentils are small and resemble a pea.  They are hearty and nutritious.

Today, as part of our lesson, and in preparation for our Sabbath Potluck at church tomorrow, Harmony and I made homemade lentil stew.


Here's how we did it:

Lentil Stew

We used Green Lentils,
and fresh lemon juice makes all the difference!

2 T Olive Oil
1 Large Onion, chopped
1 Head Garlic, minced
4 Stalks Celery, chopped
2 Carrots, peeled and chopped
6 cups Water
4 packets George Washington's Golden Broth
1 15oz. can Petite Diced Tomatoes
2 T Cumin
2 Lemons, juiced
Salt
Pepper

*The ingredients in italics are not authentic, but this is how we like it.

Heat the olive oil in a large soup pan.  Add onion, garlic, celery and carrot.  Cook on medium high heat until they start to soften.

Add some salt and the cumin.  Cook until vegetables are tender.

Add the water, GW Golden Broth, and the can of tomatoes.  Let simmer for about 45 minutes.

Add the juice of the two lemons and season to taste with salt and pepper just before serving.

Have a Happy Sabbath!

A Transition in Life

In I Corinthians John espouses the benefits of remaining single. Did you know that being single and childless was my original plan for my life? I actually did have a plan one day, way back when. It involved staying single, remaining childless, joining the Peace Corps, becoming a photographer for National Geographic, and traveling the world exploring and doing good for others. What a life, eh?

Being single really does have it's benefits, and reading I Corinthians is a good idea for any young person still searching or any adult that either by choice, or chance finds themselves leading the life of a single person. Should a person find it a viable option, remaining single can open oneself up for tremendous potential. Can you imagine the freedom?

I think singleness is really what we are dreaming of when we imagine as a child growing up and becoming an independent young person. Aren't we really just looking to do what we want when we want to? A committed relationship of any sort really does change the entire dynamics of what we might imagine freedom to be. When it boils right down to it anything is more difficult the more we have to consider the feelings of others. Our desires and ambitions may even be halted all together. How does this change our relationship with God and our ability to serve Him?

As an imperfect being we are masters of complicating just about everything. For any of you that have followed this blog even for the past few months you will know that I have my hands full, to put it mildly, with children, grandchildren, a husband, homeschooling, pets, friends, church responsibilities, family obligations, and on and on. On top of this I had a health scare which, praise God, turned out well, and I seem to be in perimenopause. Doesn't that just sound fun? The perimenopause really does add a level of complication to keeping all of my hats on my head that even a master circus performer would struggle with.

What does one do when we do not take experienced advise like that given in the Bible and choose to complicate our lives further? I watch my girls, all FIVE of them, do this on a regular basis. Unfortunately for my children, I connected with God later in life. Therefore our first batch was raised by two very different parents than our second batch. (Any of you that have large families know exactly what I am talking about.) It took me quite a while to grow up, learn who I am, and determine a positive way to approach everything life related. Our home and our children are so different now than what we knew say eight years ago. It's a different world in so many ways.

Now that I have found the Bible and all the treasures it holds it is difficult to impart on my twenty-something daughters. We struggle to connect with them and establish healthy boundaries at the same time. If I did not have my Bible, my church family and those that went before me to share their wisdom I do not know how I would even function. I think it is so sad that this passage of knowledge between generations is lost in our culture. The level of disrespect of our fellow man seems to grow with each generation. It truly does sadden me.

On more than one occasion it has been said that I am naive. I can see it myself in certain circumstances. I do most always see the good in people which often blinds me to things that would be helpful to notice. Thankfully my husband is great at seeing things for what they are and catching details that are invisible to me. We balance each other out wonderfully in that department.

I seem to be in yet another of life's transitions. On the good side that indicates growth and maturity. On the flip side it inflicts emotional discomfort and exhaustion. I am thankful for my relationship with God. Life would have been a lot easier if I had actually studied my Bible when I was younger and had I listened more closely to those that went before me. Now I hunger for knowledge and find valuable guidance in the Word of God and my friends and family that have a few years experience on me. They are both valuable resources that I am forever grateful for having.

Stinkin' Thinkin'

It has not been too long yet, and I am already thinking I need to read The Sexually Confident Wife again. The book did a good job of teaching you how to keep your thinking in check, and I could use a booster shot. Why is it so easy to get off on a destructive thinking path?

It seems hubby and I are clashing heads a lot lately. It's not anything big, really. We just seem to spend a lot of time misunderstanding each other and being defensive. Even though I don't think what we are having a confrontation over is worth the magnitude of our attitude I just cannot seem to keep myself from going there.

As I am typing this I am wondering if I have been neglecting my prayer life. Oh, I pray constantly, but I haven't had my morning Bible reading time and beginning of the day prayer in probably weeks. I didn't realize it until this very moment. I know the importance of starting out on the right foot, but honestly I haven't even been getting breakfast regularly. Skipping meals is another thing I have struggled with for years. I know the destruction it inflicts on my body, so I have changed my ways. However, when things get hectic or stressful I just seem to naturally gravitate to old, bad habits. Let's recap. So far I have listed two bad habits; morning prayer time and breakfast.

As a mother it is so natural for me to put my needs first. It has been years that I have been thinking on a daily basis that I need to implement a regular exercise regimen. Yet, here I sit still needing to lose a full 60 pounds. If only mentally exercising your body would prove fruitful! I'd have been my ideal weight a year ago. Bad habit recap: no morning prayer, no breakfast, and no exercise.

Hmmm...I'm starting to see a pattern here. Maybe if I pledged to take care of myself first everything else would be easier to maintain. What do you think? Even though my schedule is insane I think now is the time to try something new. For the next seven days I am going to slow down. I am going to do some low-impact exercise, spend time in the Bible and prayer, and eat breakfast each and every day before I do anything else. Do you think it is possible?

I'll let you know how it goes.

Cell Phone vs. Bible

This was shared by my good friend, Shelly, at The Mom with Brownies on her homeschooling group at Yahoo! Groups, Macomb Christian Homeschoolers. I thought it was worth sharing here. When was the last time you read your bible? When was the last time you shared the bible with anyone? It is truly worth thinking about...



Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?

What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?

What if we flipped through it several time a day?

What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?

What if we used it to receive messages from the text?

What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?

What if we gave it to kids as gifts?

What if we used it when we traveled?

What if we used it in case of emergency?

Just something to make you go....hmm... Where is my Bible?

- Author Unknown

Prophecy Seminar

Our church has been hosting the Amazing Discoveries prophecy seminar for the past several weeks. It has been amazing! I have really been enjoying getting to know my church family on a more personal level and getting to know my community members for the first time. It is such a wonderful experience gathering together to learn about prophecy and dig deeper into the Word of God. Church "veterans" and newcomers alike have been learning and growing together.

We are using the Storacles study guide as well as following along with Pastor Steve Vail and his seminar series. This past Sabbath we started studying the book of Daniel. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to grow in this fashion.

I would like to share the information that I have been studying with those that are interested. You can check out Revelation Chronicles as you feel inspired. It is a wonderful resource for those of you that would like to dig deeper into the Word of God and really get into the meat of studying your Bible and allowing it to interpret itself.

The Message Bible

Several months ago I started reading the Bible beginning in The New Testament. I have always preferred the traditional King James version. One morning I awoke and reached for my Bible, but it wasn't there. I had left it downstairs. My husband's new Bible, The Message , was there, and I picked it up. I have been reaching for it ever since.

The Message is a wonderful version done in the modern vernacular. It is so easy to read. I thoroughly enjoy it and often find it humorous. It is kind of funny to think of those from Bible Times speaking our language.

I was watching Joyce Meyer this morning, and she was discussing how God loves us and accepts us for who we are. He actually chose us. He is not angry with us. He loves us unconditionally. Verses from Ephesians kept coming up, so I thought I would share some of The Message Bible here with you.

Introduction to Ephesians taken from The Message:

What we know about God and what we do for God have a way of getting broken apart in our lives. The moment the organic unity of belief and behavior is damaged in any way, we are incapable of living out the full humanity for which we were created.

Paul's letter to the Ephesians joins together what has been torn apart in our win-wrecked world. He begins with an exuberant exploration of what Christians believe about God, and then, like a surgeon skillfully setting a compound fracture.
sets this belief in God into our behavior before God so that the bones-belief and behavior-knit together and heal.

Once our attention is called to it, we notice these fractures all over the place. There is hardly a bone in our bodies that has escaped injury, hardly a relationship in city or job, school or church, family or country, that isn't out of joint or limping in pain. There is much work to be done.

And so Paul goes to work. He ranges widely, from heaven to earth and back again, showing how Jesus, the Messiah, is eternally and tirelessly bringing everything and everyone together. He also shows us that in addition to having this work done in and for us, we are participants in this most urgent work. Now that we know what is going on, that the energy of reconciliation is the dynamo at the heart of the universe, it is imperative that we join in vigorously and perseveringly, convinced that every detail in our lives contributes (or not) to what Paul describes as God's plan worked out by Christ, "a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth."

Ephesians 3:14-19 from The Message:

My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit-not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength-that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God. ~ Eph. 3:14-19

Do you do as Paul advises? What a challenge it can be for some of us to see God as, "Father". Is God your father? Do you call him, "Daddy"? Have you opened the door to Christ and invited him to live within you benefiting from His glorious inner strength? Have you planted both feet firmly in love and taken in the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love? Are you living the full life offered to you through God?

Does it seem a tall order? Again, I come back to how we start our day. Is yours started in The Word? Have you tried it? Did you notice a difference? Feel free to share your experiences here. I'd love to hear from you the difference shifting your focus from self to God and the service of others has made in your life.

In a Vegan World

I just finished reading The Real Forbidden Fruit: How Meat Destroys Paradise and How Veganism Can Get it Back by Jeff Popick. It was very compelling. Once I began reading I just could not seem to stay away from this book. I found it challenging and thought provoking.

Mr. Popick very effectively conveys his perspective on how the consumption of meat has destroyed any possibility of peace and harmony in our human existence. The idea that it was really meat that destroyed paradise as opposed to an apple or fig challenges conventional thinking. This book will likely make it to my bookshelf as it is currently borrowed from the library. Seriously, I had to force myself to not mark this one up with notations and underlines. I will most certainly read it again.

Over the weekend it was tremendously challenging to not eat any animal products. I was so compelled while reading this that I just couldn't bring myself to do it. We were traveling, and I was not prepared with my own food. Not to mention we were unfamiliar with the area. I made do with what was available and ate quite well despite my unplanned vegan weekend.

Mr. Popick's perspective is practical and rather genious. One might wonder, "Why did I never think of it that way?", as you progress through the chapters. A familiar saying in our house is appropriate here: "Common sense isn't so common."

Reading this book has brought me back to my college days of being a vegetarian. I was a vegetarian back when everyone thought it was lunacy. I was compelled by a PETA magazine that landed in my hands. I just could not deal with the reality of how animals are treated by factory farmers. I could not contribute to their pain and suffering.

There were no real good products on the market. I didn't have the Internet or access to yummy cookbooks via the public library, or any other source for that matter. I just winged it so to speak. We ate some very bad tasting food while I traveled my learning curve. Now there are SO MANY resources that there is just no excuse for not eating very yummy and satisfying vegan meals.

Somehow I ended up back to my Standard American Diet (SAD), overweight, and discontent. I fell back to my roots. Within the past few years I have been trying to make my way back to a vegetarian based diet making more "conscious" eating choices. I have avoided grocery store purchased meats, eliminated cow's milk, and dramatically reduced other forms of dairy such as cheese and eggs.

Mr. Popick further challenges my thinking in that being a conscious consumer is still damaging. Eating any animal products and using any products that contain animal byproducts is just plain imoral. This has really challenged my thinking. He makes a very compelling argument.

From the back cover:

• "Meatism" blocks our connection to God; veganism facilitates it - no religion required!
• "Meatism" fosters suffering across the planet; veganism eliminates.
• "Meatism" is destroying the environment; veganism is the ONLY way to save it.
• "Meatism" actually creates famine; veganism produces abundance.
• Veganism isn't about eating lettuce and tofu...vegan food is AMAZING!
• Veganism doesn't cure disease...it eradicates it.
• Veganism isn't a "diet"...it's a way of life. (But have you ever seen an obese vegan?)
• Veganism is the ONLY proper way to love animals...And people.
• Veganism is mandated by God...on PAGE ONE of the Bible.
• Meat is The Real Forbidden Fruit; veganism is the key to Paradise.