Imaginative Play - A Real Blessing

My children have been playing A LOT, it is a beautiful thing!  They wake up nearly every morning and launch right into some make believe play that they have orchestrated.  Sometimes they even wait an hour or more before expressing interest in breakfast.  This has been a welcome reprieve for me.

My schedule is such that I have found it challenging to find quiet time in order to plan our our new school year which I have slated to begin in less than three weeks.  I know the benefits of imaginative play for my children, but what I didn't anticipate was benefits for me.  Slowly, I am letting go and allowing this play to progress on its own.  I feel burdened with many tasks fighting for the top slot on my list, so I am really trying to set my priorities.  Since we are set to start our more rigorous school routine in such a short time I am forcing myself to block out all the other tasks calling for my attention, and I am gearing my mind to focus solely on the task of preparing our lessons for the 2014-15 school year.  It is a bit of a daunting task, and it is challenging to focus when I have huge projects just begging for my attention.  However, I am committed to the task at hand.

We do school year round.  Learning just takes different forms depending on the season.  In the summer months we pare back the academics and take a more laid back approach.  However, in the fall and winter months we intensify our efforts taking on a heftier academic load.  This year we will be exploring human biology and History from the Industrial Revolution through present times, among all of our other subjects.  These two require the most effort on my part in regard to planning.  So, they are my first priority.  Getting the most difficult out of the way seems the best approach for me.

I am SO fortunate to have such a supportive group of homeschool friends.  A few of us have found a way to help each other out in the planning process.  We are making a deal with each other to keep each other's children so that we have QUIET time, in a large enough block to actually accomplish something, to prepare our lessons or whatever else may be required for us to be prepared to effectively educate our children.  I am SO excited about this plan!  What a blessing to have such a wonderful network of friends.  Community is something I have been longing to have for many, many years, and God has richly blessed me in this area since our move.

For me, at the moment, the double blessing is that my children are so eagerly educating themselves through imaginative play and occupying themselves without ANY prompting from me.  I am thankful that I am able to SEE the blessing and allow their explorations to continue with very little interruption from me.  It is well established that imaginative play is a wonderful learning medium for children, and their most important business is playing.  Given our unique circumstances, less and less so as years go by, I am fully aware of just how far these precious wee ones have come in their healing to actually be off playing on their own.  This is huge, and I am SO thankful that it is happening.

I am choosing to accept the gift given me.  We will enjoy the next couple of weeks at an even more relaxed rate so that my children can learn, explore, and grow all on their own, and I will take moments of time for myself to commune with my Creator, to listen to the chatter of my children and the birds outside, and I will grab the moments as they present themselves to prepare for the coming year.  Right now we are enjoying the serious business of play.

A Child's Garden of Verses: Selected Poems

by Robert Louis Stevenson

THE LITTLE LAND

  

When at home alone I sit
And am very tired of it,
I have just to shut my eyes
To go sailing through the skies—
To go sailing far away
To the pleasant Land of Play;
To the fairy land afar
Where the Little People are;
Where the clover-tops are trees,
And the rain-pools are the seas,
And the leaves, like little ships,
Sail about on tiny trips;
And above the Daisy tree
      Through the grasses,
High o’erhead the Bumble Bee
      Hums and passes.

In that forest to and fro
I can wander, I can go;
See the spider and the fly,
And the ants go marching by,
Carrying parcels with their feet
Down the green and grassy street.
I can in the sorrel sit
Where the ladybird alit.
I can climb the jointed grass
      And on high
See the greater swallows pass
      In the sky,
And the round sun rolling by
Heeding no such things as I.
Through that forest I can pass
Till, as in a looking-glass,
Humming fly and daisy tree
And my tiny self I see,
Painted very clear and neat
On the rain-pool at my feet.
Should a leaflet come to land
Drifting near to where I stand,
Straight I’ll board that tiny boat
Round the rain-pool sea to float.

Little thoughtful creatures sit
On the grassy coasts of it;
Little things with lovely eyes
See me sailing with surprise.
Some are clad in armour green—
(These have sure to battle been!)—
Some are pied with ev’ry hue,
Black and crimson, gold and blue;
Some have wings and swift are gone;—
But they all look kindly on.

When my eyes I once again
Open, and see all things plain:
High bare walls, great bare floor;
Great big knobs on drawer and door;
Great big people perched on chairs,
Stitching tucks and mending tears,
Each a hill that I could climb,
And talking nonsense all the time—
      O dear me,
      That I could be
A sailor on a the rain-pool sea,
A climber in the clover tree,
And just come back a sleepy-head,
Late at night to go to bed.

I Love John Rosemond!

Okay, I love my husband a lot more, and love might be too strong of a word, but I do have a great respect for Dr. Rosemond.  He is a breath of fresh air to this couple right here.  We both enjoyed listening to him very much at the GHC convention in Cincinnati.  I thought it might be fun to revisit my notes and share with you what I learned.

Dr. Rosemond is very easy to listen to.  He is matter of fact and quite funny.  At the end of each seminar he left us wanting more; not that his talk was missing anything, just that he was that enjoyable to listen to.  My husband and I both agreed that we could have listened to him well into the night.

We feel challenged by the ideas of Dr. Rosemond.  His insight is well founded and spot on.  With his help, we traveled back several decades to the 1950's, and beyond, where he reminded us of the parenting styles of our mothers and grandmothers.  One thought that stuck with me is, "My mother expected me to pay attention to her."  Why, yes.  Yes she did!  His charge is that today's mother pays too much attention to her children, and that attention has profoundly negative effects on the very children we are so desperately trying to positively influence.

Based on his education in psychology and his own experience as a parent, Dr. Rosemond contends that this parental shift of sorts happened in the 1960's when parents quit listening to and learning from their elders in regard to parenting their own children.  Rather, they started listening to the flawed advice of psychologists and so called professionals.  From that point forward the behavior of our children has disintegrated, and our stress level has sky rocketed.  Today's mom has the bar raised so high that she can never achieve the standards she's set for herself, but she wears herself out to no end trying.  I have to admit my guilt in this one.  I have tortured myself day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, and even decade after decade trying so desperately to learn the best way to parent my children without messing them up too much.  What a daunting task it has been at times!

Dr. Rosemond contends that today's mother works much harder than the mothers of decades past while she raises half the children her grandmother did.  It's really ridiculous if you stop and think about it, and think about it I have.  My husband and I had already been pondering some of these things.  We just hadn't found our way quite to the level Dr. Rosemond took us.  One thing that always bothered me was the level of effort we put forth to extract obedience from our children; never mind the multitudes of failures in this department over the years.  I had already been discussing this with my husband.  Don't get me wrong.  I wasn't a perfect kid.  I made some terrible mistakes growing up, but for the most part I did what I was told when I was asked to do something.  My mom didn't have to fight with me to do my part around the house.  I knew what was expected, and I did it.  There were no chore charts, no allowance, and rarely a remind.  She never had to correct how I folded the towels or go behind me because I missed the corners when I dusted.  There was no reminder to put the milk back in the refrigerator, and she didn't have to remove something from the cupboard due to me putting it in the wrong place.  It didn't happen.  I was taught how to do things right and to do it right the first time.  There were no battles.  I've never been able to understand why I wasn't able to pull that level of efficiency off with our own children.  I always chalked it up to being a combined family.  Now, I would have to say that would be incorrect.

Another thing that really stood out to me is the point Dr. Rosemond made about his mom spending time with her friends and what they did, or didn't, talk about.  He shared that he had asked his mother what she used to talk about with her girlfriends when he was a kid.  Guess what?  It was everything BUT him!  I know I have personally spent a lot of time talking with trusted individuals about my parenting challenges over the years.  Moms of the past did no such thing.  They didn't talk about their children.  Instead, the talked about their interests and how they were spending their time.  They were INTERESTING!  Are you interesting?  I know I am not so interesting, and it has been a struggle of my heart.  I have been frustrated very much in this department for quite some time.  I am so wrapped up in my children that there is NO time for ME.  I have felt lost in parenthood for many years now.  A couple of years ago I was just glimpsing the illusion of freedom, and it did feel good, then we became parents of three instead of one.  (For those of you that are unfamiliar, we had already raised seven children when we adopted one more.  Then, we also became parents to two of our grandchildren unexpectedly.  Vacation over!  LOL)  I say illusion, because I really didn't know that I was my own gate keeper.

This idea ties into another area of discussion between the husband and myself, freedom for the kids.  Dr. Rosemond hit on this as well.  Kids NEED time that is unstructured.  In today's society we are SO structured with an abundance of activities.  We cart kids from one thing to the next, and they rarely have time all to themselves.  One thing I have known for a long time is that kids actually NEED to get bored.  Boredom does breed creativity.  My conclusion?  If we actually allow our children unstructured time to explore, play, and just be children, then we mothers will have plenty of time to explore, play, and just be ourselves.  We can take off our hats and truly be who we are.  We CAN be interesting!  We do not need to be so wrapped up in the lives of our children that we cannot do anything relevant to ourselves.  Seriously!  If we do not make it a point to be interesting and be MORE than mothers to our children our children WILL view us as dispensers of entitlements.  This, dear friend, is a fact.  I have seen it plain and simple in our family as well as the families of those near and dear to my heart.

How do you feel when I make this statement?  "Children should be seen, and not heard."  It used to ruffle my feathers.  Now, I view it in a totally different light.  I love including children in conversation, but there is a distinct line that has been muddied over the decades of degradation.  Though the aforementioned statement may seem blunt and harsh to we parents of today, there is a value in the philosophy that has been going right over our heads.  It may be even more relevant to those of us that are homeschoolers.  When children are "seen, and not heard" they are cast in the role of the student.  The distinction between adult and child becomes clear, and children are effectively taught to become adults.

We, my husband I, are still learning how to be effective parents in our home.  Raising seven children in the circumstances that we did taught us a lot.  It laid the foundation for us to be capable of raising the children currently in our charge.  Our hearts and minds have never been more open to the prompting of God, especially with regard to the care and keeping of children.  I know what I have shared my strike a nerve with some of you.  However, when I am completely honest with myself I am acutely aware of the way things have degraded within our society.  I believe in the Biblical principles as the foundation for family, and I am constantly working toward understanding what the Bible has to say and how to apply it to my life.  I long for a self-sufficient life for my children based on Godly principles and Biblical virtues.  With this in mind I will continue to educate myself, keep my heart open to the prompting of God, and share with others what I learn along the way.  Over the coming months I will continue to share on this and related subjects.  I hope the things God has put on my heart with challenge your thinking as well as encourage you along your own personal journey with your Creator, your family, yourself, and your community.

Sometimes He Does Things

I know a guy.  His name is John, and sometimes he really does do things; big things.  He's a young guy with a big heart and wisdom beyond his years.  We could all stand to learn a thing or two from the real, as in living real lives, young people that are involved in the communities around us.  John is one of those people.  He's not afraid to try new things, face challenges head on, and help a fellow man out.  I'm quite sure he's given at least one person in this world the shirt off of his back.

John is preparing to give a little more of himself this time around.  He's actually cutting away part of who he is; stepping outside of his comfort zone.  When something touches John's heart or gets his attention in a big way he typically does a little more than just take note.  At some point John acts.  This time around he's sacrificing part of him that has been part of his identity for years.  Of course he's a little nervous, but you remember what I said about this guy, right?  He is stepping outside of his comfort zone and putting the interest of his fellow man, in this case children, before his own temporary anxious feelings.

A while ago John met a girl.  Her name is Danielle, and once she figured out he is the all around good guy he is a friendship was formed, and St. Baldrick's Foundation was the topic of conversation.  Danielle was still walking around sporting evidence of her sacrifice for this foundation investing in the interest of young children.  It got his attention.  With people of all varieties and ages being the calling of John's heart he readily committed part of himself to the cause.

So, what is this guy John going to do, you ask?

At a volunteer-organized local event John will be taking a turn in the barber chair.  His efforts of fundraising and public awareness on the topic of childhood cancer will culminate with the shaving off of his SIX INCH mohawk.  That's right.  John has been raising money over the past year to support the efforts of St. Baldwick's Foundation and will take a seat in the barber chair this March to have his crowning glory shaved clean off for a cause he believes in.

Taking note of John's example, now is a good time to reflect on your beliefs and what you stand for.  Is there something you feel passionate about?  Have you thought about it lately?  Where is your energy focused?  Are you honoring your passions, pursuing your dreams, living life with gusto, and taking action on matters important to you?  If not, maybe now is a good time for a reevaluation.  We could all use to do just that from time to time.

John Hoffman is an entrepreneur, giver of time and self, and all around good guy.  His day jobs as a Brand Developer at Project Dignity Outreach, an on-air personality at The Corner with K-Hubb, and Project Manager at Fusion Marketing Michigan keep him busy, but they don't slow him down.

Old Habits Die Hard

It would appear that I need to revisit the topic of boundaries. Determining, establishing, and enforcing all seem to be an ongoing issue for me. As my best friend has told me before, "You are just too capable!" Sometimes I wish I wasn't so capable. Then, maybe everyone wouldn't expect so much from me.

On the topic of expectations, there has been a quote running through my head rather frequently as of late, "Expectations are the surest path to disappointment." See, not only do others have expectations of me, I also have expectations for myself as well as expectations of others. It seems that not only can I disappoint myself, I can also bring disappointment upon myself by expecting things from others.

My family can be SO demanding, and I really struggle with this fact. It is difficult for me to balance my needs with the needs of those around me. It is overwhelming. There are always so many things beckoning for my attention. There's the house, the kids, my husband, church, community, business, friendships, extended family members, personal interests, and self maintenance. That's just the short list. As a mom it can be quite overwhelming when you realize just how many hats you really wear. Sometimes a reevaluation of commitments is in order. With the addition of our new little guy I find myself in serious need of reevaluating my commitments and priorities. This is a good and healthy thing for us to do from time to time.

I have come to learn over the years that we can be our own worst critic. Sometimes the greatest pressures put on us are self inflicted. It is a good idea and even necessary for us to cut ourselves some slack time and again. As Americans our lifestyle can be so out of balance. Priorities can get way out of focus, and the wrong things become important. As a perfectionist this was a very difficult lesson for me to learn, but my family aided me well in the process. I am pretty much the only perfectionist in my home. This means that I live with people that are not bothered by crumbs on the counter or a floor that doesn't sparkle. Layers of dust go unnoticed, and a dirty refrigerator is the last of anyone's worried. Let alone a mirror covered in streaks. Seriously, this goes unnoticed by everyone. Everyone, that is, but me.

See, I notice these things. The difference now is that I don't let them stress me out. I have grown to realize that quality time with my family and fostering close relationships wins out every time over having a home that could grace the cover of Better Homes and Gardens. Although, deep down inside I would love to have both. Despite my natural tendencies I have learned to not let a very lived in home ruin my day or ability to spend time with my family. Certain things will never change, though. I do still need to clean the kitchen before I cook or scrub the tub before I soak in it, but that's on me. What a different world it would have been had I learned this flexibility when all of my children were young.

Now, for a reality check. I do have commitments looming. In some way it is necessary for me to put a new plan in place. Life as I know it has been redefined. There is a new little man in our lives that takes precedence over all. It is time for me to learn how to put him first and still honor my commitments. Being out of baby practice does pose it's challenges when it comes to accomplishing things like bookkeeping, tax preparation, Adventurer planning, bulletin editing, and volunteer commitments. It's still a juggling act. The balls are just different and falling in a new direction. The trick is learning what to catch first, and I'm well on my way to figuring it out.

The Way of Women

Another trip down memory lane; this was originally written on August 23, 2006, and it still stands true for me today. I'm not sure who these women are, but they sure look like they're having fun. Hope you enjoy:

Back in the day women knew how to survive. Women knew how to be supportive of each other and fed the fire of community. Families knew each other. They cared about the success and survival of those they shared common space with. I don't mean sharing property or actual living space. I mean the community itself. The connection was seen between their lives. A woman's world stretched past her front stoop.

With advancements in technology and Women's Liberation, as women, we have managed to shoot ourselves in the foot. The art of our lives has become endangered. A certain confidence and security has been lost. Rather than struggle in the chaotic, over extended lives we have managed to create for ourselves it is our duty, if to no one but ourselves, to change the direction of our lives.

In the above spirit I have made that decision, very consciously I might add. I have learned to ask for help and even pay for it if need be. I have learned to actively seek out the desires of my heart. I have learned to find and honor my spirit. I have learned to connect, really connect, with the women around me. I have learned to better manage my time with my best interest at heart. I have learned that there is always a curve to learning. I have learned to be diligent and patient with myself.

Please do not misunderstand me. The above things are positive. By no means is anyone suffering because I want to be the true and real me, the best me that I can be. When we are honest with ourselves we will understand that our loved ones, our community and our health can only benefit from sincerity. What better example to set for our families, communities and anyone we may come into contact with? One need not feel guilty for finding a way to truely live.

Be true. Be real. Be sincere. Be happy. Really be.

Prophecy Seminar

Our church has been hosting the Amazing Discoveries prophecy seminar for the past several weeks. It has been amazing! I have really been enjoying getting to know my church family on a more personal level and getting to know my community members for the first time. It is such a wonderful experience gathering together to learn about prophecy and dig deeper into the Word of God. Church "veterans" and newcomers alike have been learning and growing together.

We are using the Storacles study guide as well as following along with Pastor Steve Vail and his seminar series. This past Sabbath we started studying the book of Daniel. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to grow in this fashion.

I would like to share the information that I have been studying with those that are interested. You can check out Revelation Chronicles as you feel inspired. It is a wonderful resource for those of you that would like to dig deeper into the Word of God and really get into the meat of studying your Bible and allowing it to interpret itself.

Happy Father's Day!

Today's sermon at church was about Joseph the earthly father of Jesus. We hear a lot about Mary, but not much is said about Joseph. There is a lot we can learn from his willingness to follow God, accept a pregnant wife, and father a child not of his own seed.

Did God have a purpose in choosing Joseph as the earthly father of Jesus? All of God's actions are with purpose. Joseph was a loving man. He made Mary his priority. Joseph protected Jesus despite the fact that he was not his biological son. He was a man of faith.

What do we learn about faith from our parents? Whether or not we realize it we are constantly influenced by the actions of those around us. Who better to determine our character than our parents.

What kind of role model are you to your children and the youth of your community?

How do you live your life?

What ethics are you teaching?

What do you teach the next generation?

You may not have a lot of time. What are you doing with yours?

Joseph was a man of character and strong morals. Maybe it is time we thought about Joseph and the example he set before us. Our society has been systematically destroying the integrity of our families. We need our fathers. Fathers are protectors, teachers of the proper use of power, instillers of work ethic, demonstrators of respect, and examples of morality.

What kind of father are you?