Monday, June 23, 2008

Getting Along

Relationships sure are work! I have been known to say that if we really knew what marriage was all about none of us would ever say, "I do." Why is it that no one really gets clued in on how to be in a healthy relationship?

As I've gotten older it has come to my attention that there are a few very important things that get left out of our so called education; healthy communication - especially in regard to marriage and parenting, personal finances, and death. How is it that we spend the first 20 years of our lives trying to grow up and become independent, yet there is no one there guiding us in the most important aspects of our life here on earth?

I am sure there are a few people out there that maybe received a beneficial education on the above aspects of life, maybe a few more were educated on one or two of the facets, but it is my belief that the majority of us come up from infancy ill equipped for much of anything. Sure, we may learn a trade, gain an inheritance, or have access to a higher education, but do we really have any clue what to do with it?

Personally, I have taken it upon myself to become educated in the areas that are most important to me. This likely came about from my unschooling journey with my children. What a better life it is when we are following our inner calling. If something is interesting, explore it with gusto. When you discover a certain something to have value in your life take it in with passion. There is so much information at our fingertips. Surely there is a resource available for just about anything we may feel we are lacking or desire to have more knowledge about or experience with. What was that old saying? "Where there's a will, there's a way."

I have taken it upon myself to become educated in communication with my husband and my children, primarily. Certainly other areas of my life will benefit. Communication is so challenging, frustrating even. I remember having a discussion with my oldest son in regard to just exactly what did self-control mean. His take was that he was directing his actions so that was self-control. I am striving for the bigger picture. The space where I am conscious in my life and in control of my emotions and behavior. For those of you that have never really made this a priority, I assure you it is likely the most challenging thing to do. It really gives you a new perspective on that whole, "What would Jesus do?" push.

When we truly take the time to think about our reactions, control our tone of voice, see things from the perspective of someone else, choose not to speak, or think before opening our mouths, WOW...what a practice in self-control!

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